Hi,
I previously have been involved with the Federal Circuit Court with my children's father. There was a significant history of domestic violence that was always perpetrated in front of the kids. However, because the children were babies/toddlers at the time it was said to have not affected them and no future risk toward them could be established. He was granted every second weekend and half of school holidays etc. Standard order. Except I was granted sole parental responsibility, he was supposed to take drug tests for an amount of time, not commit any acts of domestic violence in front of children and be the one to physically be there to care for the children.
In the beginning access was ok. He seemed to have learnt to appreciate the kids and after two years of no access, to supervised, to normal access, seemed to be making them reasonably happy and they enjoyed their time with him.
A couple of year ago he found a new partner, who was 18, 15 years his junior. I found this a but concerning because of the power imbalance but supported my kids relationship with her and him. She had a child and signs of domestic violence began to appear. The children stating on occasion that the father was losing his temper a lot and they were constantly fighting. It wasn't often that the kids would confide in me what was happening. I guess they didn't want their father getting into trouble.
His behaviour began to deteriorate more parenting wise. Refusing to return clothes and shoes that they wore when they visited, refusal to pay child support, refusing to communicate with me who the children were being left with during visits, refusing to take care of the children's needs such as brushing their teeth and the children were increasingly telling me about more fighting.
I tried to sort issues out with him. He would only talk in person and refused to communicate in writing so I would have any type of evidence.
His partner was becoming increasingly insecure and tracking me on social media and accused me of having an affair with the father, another time asked me to not request child support from the father and the last blow was accusing my younger daughter of being sexually inappropriate with her baby, who was one. I questioned the father about the allegations and he stated that he had never seen anything, I spoke to both my daughters who said they didn't know what was going on and was asked by a pyschologist to question accused daughter about allegations and had to ask her if she had taught her baby sister to penetrate herself. Two weeks before I was made aware of these allegations the father said accused daughter had been looked after by adults unknown to me and threaten to get a knife and kill herself. After the allegations she began to develop anxiety and had to be taught breathing exercises.
The father's partner contacted me via facebook after saying she had left the father and I explored the allegations fully. Once she told me everything she apparently thought was going on I believed it to be vindictive and not true. My daughter has never displayed abnormal sexual behaviour in my home and has no behavioural issues with me or at school. The father denied he had seen it as did the children when questioned.
After his partner had left the home the children went to visit their father while a family member visited. When this family member was at the shops I recieved a phone call from the fathers phone and no one spoke, I listened and the father was in a complete abusive rage towards my children and my daughter had called just so I could listen. I asked him to bring the kids home and he did. They both broke down crying and stated the father had said he might go away and be better off not seeing them. They confided in me that his partner had said on another occasion, your mother and father are ruining my life.
I stopped all access visits and the children spoke to their father on the phone but he was acting strange and asking them if he should risk his drivers license, as it was suspended, to come and see them. So I stopped phone access. I let things cool down for a couple of weeks and offered the father day time visits around my area and said we would have to attend a mediation.
He did not respond.
The other day he randomly showed up at the kids school to visit them. Peering through their classroom window during class and then returning to see one child at recess. He is allowed to attend school for sporting events etc but no other time. However he pretended to the teacher he got the date wrong for an event.
How do I go forward to deal with this situation? If you were in my position, how would you handle this situation? What legal orders would you ask for?
I previously have been involved with the Federal Circuit Court with my children's father. There was a significant history of domestic violence that was always perpetrated in front of the kids. However, because the children were babies/toddlers at the time it was said to have not affected them and no future risk toward them could be established. He was granted every second weekend and half of school holidays etc. Standard order. Except I was granted sole parental responsibility, he was supposed to take drug tests for an amount of time, not commit any acts of domestic violence in front of children and be the one to physically be there to care for the children.
In the beginning access was ok. He seemed to have learnt to appreciate the kids and after two years of no access, to supervised, to normal access, seemed to be making them reasonably happy and they enjoyed their time with him.
A couple of year ago he found a new partner, who was 18, 15 years his junior. I found this a but concerning because of the power imbalance but supported my kids relationship with her and him. She had a child and signs of domestic violence began to appear. The children stating on occasion that the father was losing his temper a lot and they were constantly fighting. It wasn't often that the kids would confide in me what was happening. I guess they didn't want their father getting into trouble.
His behaviour began to deteriorate more parenting wise. Refusing to return clothes and shoes that they wore when they visited, refusal to pay child support, refusing to communicate with me who the children were being left with during visits, refusing to take care of the children's needs such as brushing their teeth and the children were increasingly telling me about more fighting.
I tried to sort issues out with him. He would only talk in person and refused to communicate in writing so I would have any type of evidence.
His partner was becoming increasingly insecure and tracking me on social media and accused me of having an affair with the father, another time asked me to not request child support from the father and the last blow was accusing my younger daughter of being sexually inappropriate with her baby, who was one. I questioned the father about the allegations and he stated that he had never seen anything, I spoke to both my daughters who said they didn't know what was going on and was asked by a pyschologist to question accused daughter about allegations and had to ask her if she had taught her baby sister to penetrate herself. Two weeks before I was made aware of these allegations the father said accused daughter had been looked after by adults unknown to me and threaten to get a knife and kill herself. After the allegations she began to develop anxiety and had to be taught breathing exercises.
The father's partner contacted me via facebook after saying she had left the father and I explored the allegations fully. Once she told me everything she apparently thought was going on I believed it to be vindictive and not true. My daughter has never displayed abnormal sexual behaviour in my home and has no behavioural issues with me or at school. The father denied he had seen it as did the children when questioned.
After his partner had left the home the children went to visit their father while a family member visited. When this family member was at the shops I recieved a phone call from the fathers phone and no one spoke, I listened and the father was in a complete abusive rage towards my children and my daughter had called just so I could listen. I asked him to bring the kids home and he did. They both broke down crying and stated the father had said he might go away and be better off not seeing them. They confided in me that his partner had said on another occasion, your mother and father are ruining my life.
I stopped all access visits and the children spoke to their father on the phone but he was acting strange and asking them if he should risk his drivers license, as it was suspended, to come and see them. So I stopped phone access. I let things cool down for a couple of weeks and offered the father day time visits around my area and said we would have to attend a mediation.
He did not respond.
The other day he randomly showed up at the kids school to visit them. Peering through their classroom window during class and then returning to see one child at recess. He is allowed to attend school for sporting events etc but no other time. However he pretended to the teacher he got the date wrong for an event.
How do I go forward to deal with this situation? If you were in my position, how would you handle this situation? What legal orders would you ask for?
