VIC Splitting inheritance - Sell both properties?

[Rccbf]

Hi all,

Definitely ending the relationship after about 30 years and 4 kids, one still 16.
Already separated under same roof for 2 years, one year ago she moved out to a spare bedroom.
All these 30 years, never called her names, touched her in anyway inappropriate or whatever. Since we decided to separate I buried myself more deeply into work and tried to keep out of her way. She however finally managed to trap me with all her harassments and I threatened her.
I now know this also constitutes family violence as she called the cops and I've been removed from my house.
She's not working or earning any income, I'm paying for everything from running my own micro business and just making it.
She got her parents house un-encumbered as part of the inheritance, vacant for at least 5 years now. She wouldn't let me work on it to restore so we could let it for some extra income. It requires some serious works before anyone can live in there.
She claims I've got no right to anything from her inheritance as I'm not in her parents' will. Only her first then the kids on the will.
I have been told that's she's not right.
Our own house is still mortgaged. I was advised that rather than trying to pay her out of our house, just sell both houses and split whatever is left from the mortgage and the debts.
Most of the debts - credit cards under my name. All accumulated from her spending as she had unfettered access to the finances. Never managed to put some savings away.
The council rates I guess is joint as the house is under both name.
Hard to condense a long and messy story

 

[sammy01]

removed from house?
AVO? or just told to get out for 24 hours?

 

[Rccbf]

removed from house?
AVO? or just told to get out for 24 hours?

Interim order following family violence safety notice ~ or something along those words.
Had a first court session two days after the event. Second court coming up next month.
Yeah I admitted threatening her.
Just wanted to get her off my back.
She had hit me and called me names in the past. I simply put those on her being frustrated. You don't just run to the police because of an argument.
But that's what she did. She even had a notepad she was reading from to the police.
Wasn't really sure how far she would go this time as her behaviour was escalating.

 

[sammy01]

You admitted to threatening her. You're stuffed. So without spending huge $$ on solicitors you might as well accept the avo without admission. Unless you need a gun licence?
So now you have a bit of a problem. She is living in a house. Not paying any of the bills and you're homeless. I'd suggest you stop paying the mortgage. That will put some pressure on her to agree to some sort of settlement. If not she could live there for years...

Yup - the inheritance will be part of the asset division. A who buch of other stuff will be factored in.

Why isn't she working?

Ok, so you wanna go see a family law expert. You will not be able to contact her directly, you'll need a lawyer for that because of the avo. Look, you're gonna need a lawyer anyways. Very few couples shake hand, write up an agreement about asset division and move on with their lives. Doesn't sound like you're gonna be swimming in that fish pond. So solicitor's take money, they don't exactly give advice. They take their advice from you. So I'll save you some money. Decide a strategy and stick to it.

So I was in a similar situation. Kicked out. Paying child support, the mortgage, rates, electricity, cars etc etc. 3 young kids under 6yrs. After 3 months it became apparant she was sitting pretty. She had more dispostable income than me but wasn't working. Why would she wanna give that up? Solicitor didn't 'advise' me to stop paying the bills for the house. I just decided that I wasn't going to let her smooch off me anymore. Especially, given she would only let me see the kids on her terms. So shortly after bank started sending nasty letters she came around to a kinda sorta reasonable settlement.

Short version. Get a strategy, don't rely upon a solicitor to give you one.

 

[Rccbf]

Thx man
1) - 'accept the avo without admission' - what does this mean? How does it help?
Don't need a gun licence
2) - 'Why isn't she working?' - because she doesn't want to. When we got the first child we agreed she could stay at home as childcare would have eaten up the small income she was getting at the time from a job she hated. Then she just stayed. Even when my business was seriously struggling and we were having serious troubles with the mortgage she wanted me to go get a second job whilst complaining that I wasn't giving her enough of my time. I was only sleeping 4 to 5 hours a night trying to find a way to make it work.
3) - 'Get a strategy' - One of my customers suggested to sell everything and split whatever we get left at hand. And that's what I'm thinking to do as a strategy. Just wasn't sure about my rights on her inheritance as I'm not on the will. You might guess I've got absolutely no idea about all this stuff.
4) 'So solicitor's take money, they don't exactly give advice. They take their advice from you.' ' don't rely upon a solicitor to give you one' - thx a bunch for the heads up, I thought that what I would be paying for. The one I'm dealing with said that I have to keep paying everything otherwise it would be a contravention to the order. I'm definitely not rich enough to maintain her and survive on the side, my one-man business is not good enough for that.
Now, to get her to come to the sell everything concept, how would I go about that?

 

[sammy01]

Where are you living?
Ok so accept without admission. Means you accept the terms of the avo. Not allowed to go near her, abuse her, or what ever they might be.... No admission of guilt. Or you fight the allegations of DV. Now by your own words you said you threatened her. That is enough. AND if you try to fight it you will pay a solicitor. It will cost you heaps, meanwhile the police prosecutor will be the opposition NOT her solicitor. So it will cost her nothing.

So get your solicitor to write to her. Offering an asset division. Offering her 21 days to reply and stating that you can't afford to pay for the mortgage and everything else and as such this needs sorting and that you're prepared to find a compromise around mortgage repayments until a reasonable and amicable long term solution can be found via asset division.

The inheritance will be part of the asset division. 30 yr relationship means everything is in the mix. The fact that she only got it 5 yrs ago will lend her a hand in being able to argue she should get more of that pie.... But it won't be excluded from the assets.

 

[Rccbf]

Where are you living?

At a lady from church, in the lounge room on a blow-up mattress.
If your question referred to actual location, Endeavour Hills VIC

Ok so accept without admission. Means you accept the terms of the avo. Not allowed to go near her, abuse her, or what ever they might be.... No admission of guilt. Or you fight the allegations of DV. Now by your own words you said you threatened her. That is enough. AND if you try to fight it you will pay a solicitor. It will cost you heaps, meanwhile the police prosecutor will be the opposition NOT her solicitor. So it will cost her nothing.

The purpose of fighting the avo would be to allow me back into the house. If that's totally out of the question there is no point to it.
I run my business from the garage and I have been allowed access to the garage only. It has no direct access to the house.
If I can't live and work there whilst sorting out the issues I'll have to rent some place and relocate the business there.
Costs and other problems so paying a solicitor might be a cheaper option.

So get your solicitor to write to her. Offering an asset division. Offering her 21 days to reply and stating that you can't afford to pay for the mortgage and everything else and as such this needs sorting and that you're prepared to find a compromise around mortgage repayments until a reasonable and amicable long term solution can be found via asset division.

The inheritance will be part of the asset division. 30 yr relationship means everything is in the mix. The fact that she only got it 5 yrs ago will lend her a hand in being able to argue she should get more of that pie.... But it won't be excluded from the assets.

Can I ask for a sell all and split? How do the 5-yr play on that?
Greatly appreciate your input 🙏🙏🙏🤝

 

[sammy01]

ok, ask solicitor to write to ask for her to agree to amend the avo. The amendment would let you live in the house. But this is fraught with danger. At any time there is an argument, she calls the cops and you could be charged with breach of avo. By the sounds of this that would be inevietable if you were to live there given the high levels of tension.

Ok so the inheritance will be factored into the equation. You could definately ask your solicitor to request that you get to stay in that house for a while to save $$. Do you think the ex would agree?

To what extent the inheritance is factored? Well look. Very few cases get sorted by the courts. Most folk come to an agreement about asset division. I'm not going to guess the extent that the inheritance would be factored in. All it would be is a guess. Without all the other information about super anuation, shares, value of properties etc etc...

 

[Rccbf]

ok, ask solicitor to write to ask for her to agree to amend the avo. The amendment would let you live in the house. But this is fraught with danger. At any time there is an argument, she calls the cops and you could be charged with breach of avo. By the sounds of this that would be inevietable if you were to live there given the high levels of tension.

I've let myself get caught in her trap as I didn't think her able to go that far, I didn't see it coming. It's definitely will not happen again. I will also start taking notes of incidents and will take action with the police if she tried anything.
I've never called her names, screamed at her, touched her inappropriately, etc. She's done all these things to me. Reason why I threatened her this time I would respond if she tried. I was putting her temper tentrums of the past on her frustrations rather than real malice. Now I'll take count.

Ok so the inheritance will be factored into the equation. You could definately ask your solicitor to request that you get to stay in that house for a while to save $$. Do you think the ex would agree?

Both houses need some repairs done not improvements if we were to put them on the market. More so her parents that is in a serious state of disrepair.
Got a message through my son about organising repairs for leeking taps at our house. Ok I am paying the bills but under the circumstances?
Would she agree to amend the order? Out of malice maybe no. Because she feared me? I wouldn't believe her as there is no antecedents.

To what extent the inheritance is factored? Well look. Very few cases get sorted by the courts. Most folk come to an agreement about asset division. I'm not going to guess the extent that the inheritance would be factored in. All it would be is a guess. Without all the other information about super anuation, shares, value of properties etc etc...

I was basing my question on the fact of whether I can legally request to sell her parents' house as well since it's her inheritance and I'm not on the will. Don't knowing to what extent I've got rights on it.
Thanks again

 

[sammy01]

ok. She owns the house. You are married. You also own the house. Do you have superanuation? if you do then that will be part of the equation. Sure it is YOUR super, but she will get some of it. So everything, cars, furniture, jewelry all gets put into the asset pie based on an agreed value. And then the pie gets cut up. NOT IN HALF. The coplexities of how the pie will get cut up is beyond my typing skills. I will try.

Earning capacity will see her get more pie. You have a higher earning capacity.
Inheritance - Will see her get more pie.
You have more super - she will get more pie.

It suxs that she has sat on hear arse for 30 years and as a result gets more pie. If I was a betting man and with no actual figures to go on. I'd be thinking a 60/40 split. BUT it is complex. So for example. In my situation I got slightly more pie in the form of superannuation. WHY? well she got cash from the sale of the house. She can use that NOW. Where I have to wait until I'm 60 to get to the super and I'm at the mercy of the markets. There is risk involved.

So like I said, huge complexities about asset division. Another example. If she insists the inheritance is excluded - then you can argue that you deserve more of the rest of the pie because she has that pile of cash that she is refusing to include in the pie. Heck, if she wants to maintain that argument then your super and the value of YOUR business should also be excluded because that is YOUR stuff.

Last thing - she sounds crazy, prone to tantrums. Don't bother. RUN.... RUN.... If you move back in with the avo hanging over you and there is an argument, she calls the cops, you will be arrested. Sure you can document everything to try to 'prove' innocence. But you'll spend thousands on solicitors to do so. Honestly, our jails are full of men doing 3-6 months for breach of avo. Not worth the risk....