Hi All,
I'm just looking for a few opinions on my situation.
About 5 years ago my sister got into a relationship with a very abusive and violent individual, lets call him FW. She fell pregnant to FW and had twin boys. She left her previous partner (a good man) and their two children G16 & B12 to pursue this relationship.
Before the twins were born the abusive partner went to jail for assaulting her and breaking domestic violence orders, amongst other things. She took him back when he was released and continued to live with him for the next couple of years in what could only be described as a very violent and dysfunctional relationship. Sometime during this period they both developed an ice addiction which led them to both being evicted from their rental property and unable to find accommodation.
My sister moved in with my mother and FW moved in with his, the both live in the same town. In the grips of addiction my sister became violent towards my mother, her 16y/o daughter and ex partner. She was arrested and released 3 times in one week for violence. I happened to be in town at this time and picked her up from the police station, she was extremely paranoid and was suffering drug psychosis.
In an effort to help the situation I convinced my sister and the twins to move to my place (I live 1700km's away) hoping a change may help her get off the drugs and get her life back on track. I sent a letter to FW's mother explaining the situation and that the children were safe. I received no reply.
She soon got her own accommodation through government housing and appeared to be fine for about 5 months, in that period FW visited once for a week and also appeared to be clean.
After about 5 months I was told by her neighbour that she had began using again, I'd noticed that her behavior had became erratic, she began contacting FW with stories that she had no money for nappies and food for the children. She was also doing this to other members of my family. I had almost daily contact with the children but was beginning to become very concerned for them.
About this time FW's mother contacted me concerned for the children and what they were hearing during abusive phone conversations between my sister and FW. I attempted to mediate an agreement by which the children could visit with their fathers side of the family. We also discussed the possibility of returning the children to her care should my sisters drug use increase. FW was apparently still clean and she promised that she would have the time to ensure the children were cared for should he too relapse.
My sisters drug use continued and I warned her I wasn't going to let the children go down the drain with her.
Days after this conversation I was called to her place by her neighbour, 6 police officers and an ambulance were in attendance, my sister was drunk and the police said they didn't want to leave the children with her.
They helped me get the kids out to my car and I brought them back to my place. After I left my sister was charge with a number of offenses including serious assault on police. I rang FW's mother and we agreed that the children would be safer in her care. She arranged for FW and his sister to fly up and collect the boys the next day.
In previous discussions FW's mother had agreed that the children would be able to spend considerable time with my mother should they move back, she also agreed that the children would be able to spend regular time with the twins older siblings who had also been a large part of their short lives.
A couple of weeks after they were returned I requested contact with the twins for my mother, the older siblings and myself as I was in town for a couple of days. This was refused. Over the space of the next couple of months I requested physical and phone contact a number of times and was repeatedly refused. I was told that the children were fine and that's all my family needed to know.
After about 4 months I received word that FW had died, my family was not notified and the actual circumstances are still a mystery to us.
My sister was receiving legal aid for her serious assault charge and was apparently not able to receive legal aid to fight to have her children returned. She was told she may face jail time for her actions so didn't see the point in trying to get them back considering the circumstances. I don't know for sure if this is true as I wasn't speaking with her at the time. This dragged on for about a year before she was finally given a suspended sentence.
She then was granted legal aid to attempt to get some time with her children and sent a solicitors letter to FW's mother. FW's mother replied and stated many untruths, claiming that no members of my family had requested any contact with the children despite changing her phone number and refusing my many requests for contact with the children.
I helped my sister by drafting a return letter quoting from all the emails I had showing she agreed that my family would have considerable contact with the children and also showing that I had made many attempts at getting some contact with the boys. This was not actually for my sisters benefit but more so the boys could maintain a relationship with their siblings, grandmother and myself when I was in town.
This seemed to help as soon after she agreed to phone calls twice a week and the last time I was in town my mother, the children's sibling and I were allowed to spend 2 hours supervised time with the boys. My mother has since been allowed another supervised visit with the boys siblings.
Recently my sister returned to town and attempted to collect the children from daycare but was refused.
Last week my sister was served court documents and is due to appear in family court tomorrow. I find it very strange that she wasn't given more notice. My mother has read FW's mothers affidavit and similar to the solicitor letter I had read contains many untruths that I can easily refute with her own emails.
I don't know if my sister is actually any better and don't particularly want to see the children back in her care full time but feel I need to at least refute the lies FW's mother is telling about the situation and in some way try to secure at least some reasonable contact between the children and other members of my family who love them dearly.
My sister doesn't seem to care at all if the children see the rest of my family, at one point she attended mediation but apparently made no attempt to secure time for anyone but herself.
I fear with her alone steering the ship and with her documented history a judge may decide that its in their best interests not to have contact with my family at all. Particularly if theree is no way for me to show that we have repeatedly requested to see them.
Any advice? Or should I just stay out of it and see what happens?
I'm just looking for a few opinions on my situation.
About 5 years ago my sister got into a relationship with a very abusive and violent individual, lets call him FW. She fell pregnant to FW and had twin boys. She left her previous partner (a good man) and their two children G16 & B12 to pursue this relationship.
Before the twins were born the abusive partner went to jail for assaulting her and breaking domestic violence orders, amongst other things. She took him back when he was released and continued to live with him for the next couple of years in what could only be described as a very violent and dysfunctional relationship. Sometime during this period they both developed an ice addiction which led them to both being evicted from their rental property and unable to find accommodation.
My sister moved in with my mother and FW moved in with his, the both live in the same town. In the grips of addiction my sister became violent towards my mother, her 16y/o daughter and ex partner. She was arrested and released 3 times in one week for violence. I happened to be in town at this time and picked her up from the police station, she was extremely paranoid and was suffering drug psychosis.
In an effort to help the situation I convinced my sister and the twins to move to my place (I live 1700km's away) hoping a change may help her get off the drugs and get her life back on track. I sent a letter to FW's mother explaining the situation and that the children were safe. I received no reply.
She soon got her own accommodation through government housing and appeared to be fine for about 5 months, in that period FW visited once for a week and also appeared to be clean.
After about 5 months I was told by her neighbour that she had began using again, I'd noticed that her behavior had became erratic, she began contacting FW with stories that she had no money for nappies and food for the children. She was also doing this to other members of my family. I had almost daily contact with the children but was beginning to become very concerned for them.
About this time FW's mother contacted me concerned for the children and what they were hearing during abusive phone conversations between my sister and FW. I attempted to mediate an agreement by which the children could visit with their fathers side of the family. We also discussed the possibility of returning the children to her care should my sisters drug use increase. FW was apparently still clean and she promised that she would have the time to ensure the children were cared for should he too relapse.
My sisters drug use continued and I warned her I wasn't going to let the children go down the drain with her.
Days after this conversation I was called to her place by her neighbour, 6 police officers and an ambulance were in attendance, my sister was drunk and the police said they didn't want to leave the children with her.
They helped me get the kids out to my car and I brought them back to my place. After I left my sister was charge with a number of offenses including serious assault on police. I rang FW's mother and we agreed that the children would be safer in her care. She arranged for FW and his sister to fly up and collect the boys the next day.
In previous discussions FW's mother had agreed that the children would be able to spend considerable time with my mother should they move back, she also agreed that the children would be able to spend regular time with the twins older siblings who had also been a large part of their short lives.
A couple of weeks after they were returned I requested contact with the twins for my mother, the older siblings and myself as I was in town for a couple of days. This was refused. Over the space of the next couple of months I requested physical and phone contact a number of times and was repeatedly refused. I was told that the children were fine and that's all my family needed to know.
After about 4 months I received word that FW had died, my family was not notified and the actual circumstances are still a mystery to us.
My sister was receiving legal aid for her serious assault charge and was apparently not able to receive legal aid to fight to have her children returned. She was told she may face jail time for her actions so didn't see the point in trying to get them back considering the circumstances. I don't know for sure if this is true as I wasn't speaking with her at the time. This dragged on for about a year before she was finally given a suspended sentence.
She then was granted legal aid to attempt to get some time with her children and sent a solicitors letter to FW's mother. FW's mother replied and stated many untruths, claiming that no members of my family had requested any contact with the children despite changing her phone number and refusing my many requests for contact with the children.
I helped my sister by drafting a return letter quoting from all the emails I had showing she agreed that my family would have considerable contact with the children and also showing that I had made many attempts at getting some contact with the boys. This was not actually for my sisters benefit but more so the boys could maintain a relationship with their siblings, grandmother and myself when I was in town.
This seemed to help as soon after she agreed to phone calls twice a week and the last time I was in town my mother, the children's sibling and I were allowed to spend 2 hours supervised time with the boys. My mother has since been allowed another supervised visit with the boys siblings.
Recently my sister returned to town and attempted to collect the children from daycare but was refused.
Last week my sister was served court documents and is due to appear in family court tomorrow. I find it very strange that she wasn't given more notice. My mother has read FW's mothers affidavit and similar to the solicitor letter I had read contains many untruths that I can easily refute with her own emails.
I don't know if my sister is actually any better and don't particularly want to see the children back in her care full time but feel I need to at least refute the lies FW's mother is telling about the situation and in some way try to secure at least some reasonable contact between the children and other members of my family who love them dearly.
My sister doesn't seem to care at all if the children see the rest of my family, at one point she attended mediation but apparently made no attempt to secure time for anyone but herself.
I fear with her alone steering the ship and with her documented history a judge may decide that its in their best interests not to have contact with my family at all. Particularly if theree is no way for me to show that we have repeatedly requested to see them.
Any advice? Or should I just stay out of it and see what happens?
