What’s the expectation around disclosure of DV orders by the person who’s been granted a DVO?
I’m in somewhat of a pickle because my exgf’s husband has caught us trying to meet up and as his wife and I have priors during their relationship he’s made her take a DVO out on me in reassurance that she wants to save their marriage.
It’s a complex scenario but in a shining example of how different our need to control her are I accepted the making of the DVO without admissions based on two semi informed assumptions:
1) The burden of proof for the making of DVO’s is very low and regardless of strategically having her take it out on me the fact is her husband could quite literally have taken one out on me himself purely because my reluctant involvement in his marriage hurts his feelings.
2) If you have no trouble respecting the orders then they’re a relatively unobtrusive undertaking that won’t affect your criminal record.
I mean no disrespect to those who find comfort in having one in place but they actually mean very little if you can abide by their terms. Regardless of any differences in personal opinion of what constitutes DV the law has (an understandably) broad interpretation for anything that could remotely constitute DV and that’s a good thing but the mechanics of that low threshold is not necessarily a widely known fact. (for instance despite him not being my type I’m actually in a legally recognised relationship with my ex partners husband husband whether I like it or not simply by me being her expartner and him being her (albeit intermittently) current partner)
So my pickle is that I agreed to the making of the orders based on a broad range of allegations from relatively minor ones (AKA I create a difficulty in their marriage) to distortions of fact so magnificent I’m surprised QPS didn’t demand a unicorn to give the statements in the affidavit a bit more overall cogency. Accepting my lawyers advice that there was still enough in the allegations that was true either way I didn’t object to the order being placed as they likely would have been anyway and just assumed that there was no need to go through and particularise the ones I was guilty of and those concocted by the husband solely to support his version of the truth.
What a mistake that was… The husband has been secretly taking the orders to professional associates and mutual friends telling them that the allegations as claimed in the order are actually statements of fact which has left me looking like a girlfriend basher and drug crazed stalker which has completely destroyed my private and professional reputation. I just want to put this all behind me and leave their marriage but his actions in sharing details of a DVO are surely illegal or leave him open to some sort of recourse for defamation? Or even request to have the DV reheard in order to stop him? I honestly don’t know what to do as the moment people hear DV allegations they immediately assume it to be true if there’s an order protecting somebody from you. I can prove that it’s always his wife who is initiating contact with me trying to catch up for drinks and booking hotels etc but that means little when in todays attitudes towards DV perpetrators you’re already being shunned as a man and assumed to be guilty regardless of whether there’s any proof supporting the allegations. Please help
I’m in somewhat of a pickle because my exgf’s husband has caught us trying to meet up and as his wife and I have priors during their relationship he’s made her take a DVO out on me in reassurance that she wants to save their marriage.
It’s a complex scenario but in a shining example of how different our need to control her are I accepted the making of the DVO without admissions based on two semi informed assumptions:
1) The burden of proof for the making of DVO’s is very low and regardless of strategically having her take it out on me the fact is her husband could quite literally have taken one out on me himself purely because my reluctant involvement in his marriage hurts his feelings.
2) If you have no trouble respecting the orders then they’re a relatively unobtrusive undertaking that won’t affect your criminal record.
I mean no disrespect to those who find comfort in having one in place but they actually mean very little if you can abide by their terms. Regardless of any differences in personal opinion of what constitutes DV the law has (an understandably) broad interpretation for anything that could remotely constitute DV and that’s a good thing but the mechanics of that low threshold is not necessarily a widely known fact. (for instance despite him not being my type I’m actually in a legally recognised relationship with my ex partners husband husband whether I like it or not simply by me being her expartner and him being her (albeit intermittently) current partner)
So my pickle is that I agreed to the making of the orders based on a broad range of allegations from relatively minor ones (AKA I create a difficulty in their marriage) to distortions of fact so magnificent I’m surprised QPS didn’t demand a unicorn to give the statements in the affidavit a bit more overall cogency. Accepting my lawyers advice that there was still enough in the allegations that was true either way I didn’t object to the order being placed as they likely would have been anyway and just assumed that there was no need to go through and particularise the ones I was guilty of and those concocted by the husband solely to support his version of the truth.
What a mistake that was… The husband has been secretly taking the orders to professional associates and mutual friends telling them that the allegations as claimed in the order are actually statements of fact which has left me looking like a girlfriend basher and drug crazed stalker which has completely destroyed my private and professional reputation. I just want to put this all behind me and leave their marriage but his actions in sharing details of a DVO are surely illegal or leave him open to some sort of recourse for defamation? Or even request to have the DV reheard in order to stop him? I honestly don’t know what to do as the moment people hear DV allegations they immediately assume it to be true if there’s an order protecting somebody from you. I can prove that it’s always his wife who is initiating contact with me trying to catch up for drinks and booking hotels etc but that means little when in todays attitudes towards DV perpetrators you’re already being shunned as a man and assumed to be guilty regardless of whether there’s any proof supporting the allegations. Please help
