ACT Separation - Consent Orders and Domestic Violence Order

[littlehelpplease]

Hi all,
I am going through a separation and we have two kids and a house, etc. After not agreeing to consent orders proposed for the 4th time (I have made myself clear on the issues), my ex became very antagonistic via text and phone and I suspect her lawyer has put her up to it.

Last Friday she came to drop off the kids to which all text's were friendly however when she arrived a huge argument erupted (the kids were inside by this stage) after she threw a can of booze at me. I asked her to leave twice then she shoved past saying she was taking the kids to which I yelled to my mother to call the police twice. The second time she turned and got in her car and sped off. The police arrived the next day to take my statement and suggested a protection order against her which I applied for and got an interim order on Tuesday the 23rd of Oct, the judge told me she had gotten one the day before and stated I'd threatened to kill her on the previous Monday (15th).

So I get this email from her lawyer
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We have been instructed by X that at the last changeover of the children you made threats against her life and refused to return the children to her care. As a result, she has sought the assistance of the ACT police and has taken steps to protect herself and the children by way of a Family Violence Order.


We note that making threats towards X, or the children at any time is totally unacceptable, is harmful to the children and that the court considers this to be a risk factor particularly for very young children such as yours, when making parenting Orders.


Understandably, X is now concerned about your ability to co-parent with her, and to comply with informal agreements regarding the children. Accordingly, X will not be making the children available for contact with you until she has the protection of Court Orders in place to ensure that you will return the children to her at the conclusion of their time with you.


Notwithstanding your violent an unacceptable behaviour, X remains committed to reaching a final resolution with you regarding parenting and property issues without the need for lengthy and expensive court proceedings.


We enclose for your consideration, a set of proposed Orders, not dissimilar to those previously provided to you. We ask that you read this proposal carefully and reply indicating your position.
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Now the consent orders are virtually inline with what I was requesting from the start and I feel that her lawyer is inflaming the situation to charge my ex more fee's and or black mailing me to sign the agreement.

I also think I can beat their attempt to put a dvo on me as they have contradicted their lies about me
what does an outsider think??? I will find a lawyer next week or here but I would like to know what others think etc

cheers
J

 

[Sarah J]

Hi,

What are you seeking here?

1. Has your ex-partner sought and obtained a protection order against you?
2. Your interim protection order has already been obtained. Does this last until 23 October 2014?
3. Are you happy with the financial/custody agreement reached? Note, this is not a "consent order". Once you reach agreement and a contract is drawn up, you can take this to the court and ask for the court's approval. If this is granted, only then will you have a consent order. A consent order will mean that the contract is enforceable as if it was a court order issued by a judge. Without a consent order, the contract will not have the same legal enforceability (i.e. will not attract the same harsh penalties as breaching a court order) but will still be enforceable.

 

[Sophea]

With respect to the protection orders, a court will of course look at all the available evidence in order to determine who if any the protection order should be made against. Courts do not consider it ideal for mutual protection orders to be granted - they recognise it is often an abuse of process by one of the parties trying to gain leverage over the other. A court will generally only grant such orders where there is evidence to support the application and it is necessary to protect the victim. Court's can usually see through fabricated evidence.

 

[littlehelpplease]

Hi,

What are you seeking here?

1. Has your ex-partner sought and obtained a protection order against you?
2. Your interim protection order has already been obtained. Does this last until 23 October 2014?
3. Are you happy with the financial/custody agreement reached? Note, this is not a "consent order". Once you reach agreement and a contract is drawn up, you can take this to the court and ask for the court's approval. If this is granted, only then will you have a consent order. A consent order will mean that the contract is enforceable as if it was a court order issued by a judge. Without a consent order, the contract will not have the same legal enforceability (i.e. will not attract the same harsh penalties as breaching a court order) but will still be enforceable.

Hello Sarah and Sophea.
I guess I am seeking here some advice on whether or not her lawyer can speak to me like this and also I guess reassurance like Sophea said.
The judge that granted my interim DVO protection order thingy did say he believed me which was good considering she got in a day before me which I have no idea how she did but anyway...
It say's we have like a counselling session hearing thing before going to before a judge because we both applied for protection orders, now I intend to argue against her's and would like to submit text messages from her and also the email from her lawyer because of the ongoing mental abuse they are both putting me through especially suggesting that i've put my kids in an abusive situation which infuriates me in a depressing way if that makes sence, anyway thoughts on text messages????

 

[Sophea]

Text messages, emails and any other type of social media including facebook, twitter etc can be used as evidence in court proceedings including family court hearings.

 

[Sarah J]

Counseling is a good idea to get the issues between you and your ex-partner out on the table. Just remember that the interests of the children are paramount here. Whilst you may feel hurt by your ex-partner's actions, or vice versa, try and put these differences aside and act for what is best for the children. Obviously, if their welfare is in danger, this needs to be addressed, but given that it appears both parents care for the children, try and come to some sort of arrangement where financial settlement and custody/guardianship is clearly separated.

Best of luck!