Response to respondents affidavit and first hearing

[miguel]

Hello

I'm attending a duty list hearing (first court date) shortly as self represented applicant. Is there an opportunity to respond to the respondents affidavit?

I've tried to negotiate with the respondents solicitor before the date with a view to see if final orders can be worked out but she wants to wait until the day.

Can anyone shed some light on the environment surrounding these talks. At the property settlement case assessment conference the registrar gave a short directions type statement at the start then stuck her head in a couple of times but didn't really say much until the end as things progressed well. Is this the sort of thing to expect at the first hearing - if things progress well.

I'm self representing so any advice is very welcome.

 

[thatbloke]

I would not respond to anything via another affidavit....yet. No one will read it or be interested in reading it.

Here is what will happen (probably)

You will be on a list with at least 20 other people
You will get probably 10 minutes max in front of the judge
They would not have read zip and will be relying on a brief synopsis from you and the other side
They will appoint an 11f writer for a limited issues report and possibly an ICL, they will also possibly make an order for mediaton
Chances are the matter will be stood down as soon as you get there to try to negotiate something in the interim outside the courtroom
If you cant do it outside the judge will err on the side of caution and make orders dependent of brief explanations of what is contained in material

Welcome to the world of self representing in overcrowded courts.

How far apart are the orders you are both proposing?

 

[miguel]

The proposed orders are fairly close. We both agree to equal shared parenting. As for access, the main difference is the ex wants to stagger time over the long break, I want to go half / half ASAP.

I also want;
A no denigration of character clause.
Kids allowed to bring their personal items to Dads.
Kids can contact by any means including email, future tech etc.
Reside within 30 mins of my residence.

There has been two IVO's.

Mediation has been tried twice, two 60i's have been issued.

She's a chronic access denier and will use any excuse to do so.

My affidavit was we can co-parent but need counseling assistance. The reasons we're here is she doesn't give holiday access.

Her affidavit is we can't co-parent because I'm angry.

Thanks for the response.

 

[thatbloke]

The proposed orders are fairly close. We both agree to equal shared parenting. As for access, the main difference is the ex wants to stagger time over the long break, I want to go half / half ASAP.

I also want;
A no denigration of character clause.
Kids allowed to bring their personal items to Dads.
Kids can contact by any means including email, future tech etc.
Reside within 30 mins of my residence.

There has been two IVO's.

Mediation has been tried twice, two 60i's have been issued.

She's a chronic access denier and will use any excuse to do so.

My affidavit was we can co-parent but need counseling assistance. The reasons we're here is she doesn't give holiday access.

Her affidavit is we can't co-parent because I'm angry.

Thanks for the response.

Miguel
If all you are not on the same page about is staggering the holidays count yourself lucky and show you are the better person by accepting a REASONABLE stagger. It happens a lot mate. Its fairly standard and agreeing to a stagger shows you are being reasonable

Non denigration orders are standard orders. It will be in any final orders but it is IMPOSSIBLE to police so it is basically worthless

Communications are usually set in stone but, once kids are of a certain age a parent can hardly stop a child contacting the other parent in the 21st century "At other times as requested by the children" is quite reasonable to ask for

You won't get an order that says that have to live within xxx minutes travel of you BUT you can get an order that says mum is not allowed to move the kids beyond xxx radius of xxx without the WRITTEN consent of the other parent. Courts cannot stop adults moving, but they CAN restrict kids from being moved (if that makes sense)

Why 30 minutes? Plenty of parents travel a lot longer than that to see their kids, even when they have 50/50

 

[miguel]

Sounds good.

30 mins was suggested by a solicitor some time ago. The radius would be much better, I'm thinking 25km's?

I have applied for interim and final orders, she has applied for final orders only. I attended a solicitor for guidance on writing the affidavit, his view was my orders where very reasonable and likely to be made final by the judge.

What I envisage is what you've described, I envisage we'll end up going to a private room and merging the orders.

Would you mind elaborating on the synopsis? From what I've read from sammy01 it will go something like the judge will ask me brief questions, I should be cautious to not interrupt him and answer briefly. I should focus on co-parenting and avoid denigrating the ex. But to what extent? Because she's done some s**t things to the kids.

 

[thatbloke]

Because you are self represented chances are you will be asked questions but that does not mean you cannot TRY to make a reasonable opening statement. Just dont let the other side give your argument for you or put words into your mouth without recourse.

I have had 2 lots of orders
1: A 50km radius of xxx
2: WIthin the (insert city) metropolitan area defined by xxx

Of course, unlike the way others always relate their own personal story to everyone elses, what orders i got are not relevant to you and it all depends on where you live, schools, and more. In rural areas there could only be one school in a 50km radius but in say sydney there can be 75. That is another reason time based orders do not work. One persons 30 minute commute is 4km grind whilst its anothers 60km trip down a freeway.

Also take changeover locations into the mix. If its say Mcdonalds that is currently right in between your houses and mum moves 50 km away, it is still her responsibility to get to that Maccas unless you agree to a change.

What is your thought process behind move restriction? Why do you want it?

 

[miguel]

At first I thought she'd move out of spite but that's no longer a major concern. The other is I work about 70km's from home and about 60km's from the kids so it's a time issue.

 

[thatbloke]

At first I thought she'd move out of spite but that's no longer a major concern. The other is I work about 70km's from home and about 60km's from the kids so it's a time issue.

So if you live 60km now.. there is your radius. The court won't care where you work and restricting where the kids live because of where you work could backfire into you not being child focused and caring more about your daily commute (really)

 

[miguel]

Ok, I'll have to be careful here. My original concern with her leaving the area was due to a caution from my sister. I'll play that card if necessary, hopefully it isn't.

 

[thatbloke]

Ok, I'll have to be careful here. My original concern with her leaving the area was due to a caution from my sister. I'll play that card if necessary, hopefully it isn't.

I would keep quiet about that too, its hardly credible evidence