Recovery Order question

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smarking

Member
10 February 2023
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How likely is a recovery order to be made for my 13 year old daughter who is refusing to return to her mother? We have consent orders where mother has majority care but daughter refuses to return and states she wants to live with me. She's told her mother this who is refusing to listen so ex has threatened recovery order. I don't see how you can make a child of that age go anywhere they don't want to.

Thoughts? Experiences?
 

Tim W

Lawyer
LawConnect (LawTap) Verified
28 April 2014
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I defer to @CSFLW in all respects as knowing far more about Family Law than I do.

What I do know about though, is people making often-hollow threats of court action.
That said, I suggest that you consider replying to threats of court action with

"Yeah, OK."
...and no more words than that.

Consider also the following thought-starters.
They are entirely speculative, and some, or none, may be relevant, or not, for you personally.
But, with a view to helping you get your thoughts in order....
  • You are not detaining your daughter contrary to the terms of the Parenting Order.
    While your daughter can come and go from your house as freely as the Orders permit,
    you are actively trying to fulfil your obligations here.

  • You are not refusing to comply with the orders.
    Indeed you are happy to comply - after all, they are Consent Orders.
    Nothing has changed in that respect.

  • You are not withholding/ refusing to hand her over.
    While on the one hand, your daughter can come and go from your house
    as freely as the Orders permit, sometimes, it's time to go to Mum's place.
    You accept that and do not impede it, although you are currently having a hard time
    getting your daughter to do what she must.
Other thoughts...

Be nice. be patient. Invest in looking like the sensible, rational parent.
If you must get into discussion, say over and over - and over - in emails and in texts (ie more than in only-words),
things like
"I am happy to continue to comply with the current Parenting Orders.
Come and get her as per the arrangements."

Second last thought - if it is your agenda to get her full time, keep it to yourself. For the moment.
Last thought - whiel I said above "often-hollow threats..."
sometimes, those little voices in the night
telling you that you're going back to court... are right.
Maybe start preparing now for when the application comes.
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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How likely is a recovery order to be made for my 13 year old daughter who is refusing to return to her mother?
Thoughts .... If an application were made, it's likely success may well hinge on the reason your daughter wants to change residence .... Sometimes teens rebel against what a court may consider good sound parenting.
Sometimes they prefer one parent over another simply because they get more of what THEY want at the other parents.

Even though a 13 year olds views & wishes may be given some weight, neither of the above reasons would be considered mature reasonable grounds to change residence.