Preparing to Stop Relocation

[OptionalSettings]

My ex has told me they want to move interstate, Sydney to Brisbane with the kids. I currently have the kids 6 nights a fortnight since we separated 4 years ago. Kids are 7 and 9. We have a written parenting plan but it is just agreed between the two of us so not legally binding. There is no relocation clause in the document but it does stipulate handover every one or two nights. My worst fear is that my ex informs me they are moving even though I have not given my consent and have told them I have no desire to move. I'm stressing out.

I want to try and put my mind at ease and would like to know what needs to happen if they do this, how quickly can I stop them moving or apply to recover the children if they are moved? Should I do anything now while it is just an idea?

 

[sammy01]

See a solicitor.
But in the mean time... Write to her -
Dear ex,
You have communicated that you wish to move from Sydney to Brisbane with the children. I do not give consent. I will seek a relocation order if you move and I will use this letter as part of my evidence.

Look you do have 'shared parental responsibility' which is a legal term that basically means she can't make huge life changing decisions without you. Given you have the kids 6 nights a fortnight and have done so for 4 yrs, you have every reason to feel confident that IF she got legal advice, that advice would be to reconsider moving...

Mate - I was in a similar situation. I read lots of cases about relocation. I sent myself crazy. It is a complex issue. The courts don't feel like they can tell people where to live, but then they also need to consider the best interest of the kids and it is accepted that kids do well when they have a mum and a dad actively involved in their lives.

 

[OptionalSettings]

Thanks Sammy as always. Yeah, going a bit crazy, loosing sleep and can't focus on my work. I did speak to a lawyer but didn't really feel like we connected. I might try another.

 

[sammy01]

My ex wound up leave the kids with me... GOOD. But I made sure that she knew that if she left I would apply to court and If I won she'd have to come back and that would all be expensive.

Between you and me, I'd decided IF she moved, i was gonna suck it up and move too. I didn't tell her that.. The fact is court is kinda 50/50. So I figured fcuk it. I'll move... I did tell her that I'd apply to court and IF i lost I'd move, so no matter what she know she wasn't gonna get rid of me.

 

[OptionalSettings]

I can't see my ex leaving the kids, she already refuses equal time which is in our PP. Did you self represent through all of this?

 

[sammy01]

Yeah Kinda.... I got 2 letters from 2 different solicitors. One was a 'woman's legal service'.... They were brutal - The lawyer called me and told me not to waste my time, after all, hadn't I realised that feminism was taking over and I was gonna lose. I was scared man.... But I wrote back to both solicitors saying the same as what I indicated above. I did have a few things going in my favour, I had consent orders for 5 nights a fortnight and the consent orders did have a no relocation stipulation... The end result was she dumped the kids with me.... Happiest day of my life...

Look, having consent orders that says NO relocation is nice... but having 4 yrs of 6 nights a fortnight is a win... What reasons does she give for wanting to move?

 

[OptionalSettings]

The reasons are that some family moved up there, they are pretty transient and have no ties or roots up there, but the other reason is because property is cheaper up there and they could use the single parent loan scheme to buy a place. It all sounds a bit risky to me.

 

[sammy01]

Ok, so if she is a marine biologist living in Broken Hill, she might have a good argument that there are not good work prospects for a marine biologist in a desert.... But an unemployed chick looking for cheap housing.... Yeah, nah... Mate let her know you'll take her to court and she will realise she can't afford the risk of moving and then being forced to move back or lose the kids and with that the single parent payments...

 

[OptionalSettings]

Latest development, I agreed to attend mediation. Worried I will be railroaded in to some kind of compromise.

 

[sammy01]

Ok - stress less. Sure compromise. But - compromise is different to agreeing to only see your kids in school holidays.

Attending mediation is the first step before court. But you can't be compelled to enter into a 'compromise'. Just outa interest, is moving to Brisbane a possibility for you?

Look, for her to be successful in getting a court to agree she needs to establish that it is in their best interests and the courts accept that kids have a right to a meaningful relationshp with both parents.

Hey, if she applies to court then you should worry. I'd be happy to read over any stuff you need to respond to the application but at that point it might be time to think about getting a lawyer.