QLD Partner found out he has a nearly 5 year old daughter..

[Zingj90j]

My partner found out four months ago that he has a daughter who is nearly five. Him and the mother had a 10 month relationship. The woman was still seeing her ex at the same time, though he works on a trawler for months at a time so wasnt physically present for the entirety of the 10 months. When it all came out after 10 months.. my partner obviously said ‘see you later’ and the ex stayed in the picture.

She told my partner that she could not fall pregnant naturally and in the email she sent four months ago claiming my partner is the father of her daughter, she explained how she was going to her first IVF appointment and found out she was pregnant. She thought it was the exes. Though we are quite certain and so is the other guy that she knew all along it was my partners.

Her and the other guy got married and had another son who is about 3 and have separated now 18 months ago. Which is when she has come forward with this information.

My partner wants to be a part of the girls life, he has done a DNA test and it has confirmed he is the biological father. Nothing has been sorted, finances, parenting plan etc but he has spent time with the little girl as well as the mother and the son. I’ve found this all to be a bit much considering nothing has been sorted and the little girl doesn’t know who he is yet.

Everything has been amicable so far, last week she emailed asking for the DNA results.. which she already had, she realised quickly. Of course my partner saw this as a red flag and said he would be in contact with her when he and seen his family psych and gotten some legal aid. Since then no contact.

Yesterday the mother’s FATHER called my partner to ‘have a chat’.. he asked how my partner was feeling and they had about a ten minute convo. At the end of the convo, the father claimed to be ‘putting a family tree together’ And asked for my partner’s BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

Of course I think this is extremely suspicious considering him and the mother aren’t in contact and a week after their last convo the father calls asking his birth cert..

From what I have googled and can put together... they need the DNA RESULTS AND MY PARTNER’s BIRTH CERT to get forms filled out in order to get my partner’s name on the daughters birth certificate. Perhaps they are doing this through a solicitor to try and blackmail him.

I’m not saying he doesn’t want to eventually be on her birth certificate as the biological father as it’s currently the other guys details.. but I am extremely concerned as to their intentions of trying to get this info off my partner.

Am I wrong?

 

[sammy01]

WARNING: This could get messy. Refuse everything. Poor bloke. I can tell his future. He'll wind up paying child support for a kid that he won't be seeing.
My advice - Get advice. Free advice from the child support agency tell them the 'hypothetical'. Call birth's deaths and marriages find out if they can put his name on the birth certificate without his consent. BUT i think his birthcertificate and the dna test will be enough for CSA to start garnishing his wages.

I hate my advice. His best bet is to hide. Refuse all contact.
OR accept the kid is his and accept he is gonna be paying child support for years and years. Also accept that because he has not been on the scene for the first 5 yrs UNLESS mum gives access he will have to go to court and because he has not been around for 5 years he is gonna have a tough time in court.

 

[Zingj90j]

He wants to pay child support and wants to be involved with her life. This is the issue. I am worried they are going to try and get backpay even though it is HER who denied him knowing that the little girl was his and not the other other guys. The other guy is still seeing the little girl and the son, as the son is his but the little girl is my partner’s. So it’s already messy. Right now she doesn’t know that my partner is her ‘real dad’...

His family has already accepted it and my partner’s mum invites the ex, the daughter and the son to family dinner!!!! My partner gets angry at me when I say this is wrong because he says his mother is old and has a right to know her granddaughter...

It’s going to be difficult for him to have rights as he’s not on the birth certificate so maybe he has to be on it? Just not by them blackmailing him...... I don’t know what they are trying to do. So messy

QUOTE="sammy01, post: 69106, member: 7370"]WARNING: This could get messy. Refuse everything. Poor bloke. I can tell his future. He'll wind up paying child support for a kid that he won't be seeing.
My advice - Get advice. Free advice from the child support agency tell them the 'hypothetical'. Call birth's deaths and marriages find out if they can put his name on the birth certificate without his consent. BUT i think his birthcertificate and the dna test will be enough for CSA to start garnishing his wages.

I hate my advice. His best bet is to hide. Refuse all contact.
OR accept the kid is his and accept he is gonna be paying child support for years and years. Also accept that because he has not been on the scene for the first 5 yrs UNLESS mum gives access he will have to go to court and because he has not been around for 5 years he is gonna have a tough time in court.[/QUOTE]
He

 

[sammy01]

ok - good news. Child support can only be legally enforced from the time of application. Not from time of birth or anything else.
My concern is once he is paying mum will refuse access. he will wind up paying the full amount. So child support works on % if you have less than 14% care you pay more than if you have 15-35% care. But she will dictate when he sees the kid unless he applies to court. Which at this point is not a great idea.

 

[Zingj90j]

Thank you for your advice. My partner is so emotionally driven about being a good father and can’t see logically or when there are red flags.. eg, dad calling and asking for birth certificate for a family tree....

This is a forever thing. Things need to be done right. For the little girl first and foremost.

ok - good news. Child support can only be legally enforced from the time of application. Not from time of birth or anything else.
My concern is once he is paying mum will refuse access. he will wind up paying the full amount. So child support works on % if you have less than 14% care you pay more than if you have 15-35% care. But she will dictate when he sees the kid unless he applies to court. Which at this point is not a great idea.