Well, you can't impose punishments on the other party in a parenting plan or in consent orders. If the parenting plan is agreed on and made into consent orders, the punishment to be imposed for contraventions will be decided by the court. Remember, as well, that you still have to procure agreement from the other parent before these can be filed as consent orders, so you should ask yourself if they're likely to agree to any proposed orders that are exceedingly restrictive.
What you can do, however, is include an agreement that the parties will attend mediation or family dispute resolution where agreement can't be reached about major long-term decisions regarding the children's care, welfare and development. This would include relocation, for example.
In regards to the first right of refusal clause, technically, who the child spends time with while with the other parent is a day-to-day decision about the child, so doesn't need consultation with the other parent. The court generally won't make such orders of its own accord, it will generally only include such an order if both parents in some way agree to it. Generally speaking, a first-right-of-refusal clause is basically a courtesy between parents, so if you want it included at all, you may need to consider some compromise with the other parent in order to procure their agreement in the first place, such as it being if the parent is unable to care for the child for a period of 24 hours or longer, rather than just for after school until they finish work.
Realistically, the other question is its degree of enforceability - the other parent may determine as part of a day-to-day decision that the child spend time with their grandparents in accordance with the child's legal rights, rather than because they are unable to care for the child. It would be hard to prove such a contravention, as well.
So, you may need to find a balance that accounts for what you are a seeking, but concurrently increases the likelihood of procuring the other party's agreement, which may mean more flexible wording than you would otherwise like. Unfortunately, this is the nature of co-parenting.
Does this help?