Hi everyone,
Firstly I wish to thank you in advance for taking the time to read my question. I have been through hell and back twice only to find myself without any contact with my nearly 2-year-old son who she has sent overseas to the Philippines.
I will not go into detail as the events of what had occurred has caused me way to much Emotional and Psychological damage.. pushed to the point of suicidal.
Everything was so fast. We met early 2014. The most beautiful perfect human being you will ever come across. Everything that I was looking for was there. Gorgeous, funny, talented, smart ...and she wanted to be with me, I actually thought that I was dreaming. It was love at first sight or so I thought.
Having lived in Melbourne and her in Queensland, we would travel back and forth to see each other. I made all the necessary arrangements at the time regarding flights, accommodation and what not. As you do, feeling the way I did.
She gave me everything. and I was over the moon, I had the sense of I found the one.
A few months later she went overseas to the Philippines. I received a phone call. She said she was pregnant. I was of course over the moon. Happy because everything I had ever wanted is coming true.
Prior to her leaving though I can recall occurrences in her behaviour that were very erratic, to the point where she would vanish for a couple of days and on and off. I shrugged it off but even at that point in time I had a small inkling that something was not right.
She returned in October and I decided to move back to the QLD. For some reason, she did not want me to be there with them and on many occasions asked me to stay. I found very strange.
After moving back, she later confessed to me that, in the period that she was away on and off, she admitted to sleeping with a few different guys. It proved a huge blow to me. And I was not sure if I could recover. To be honest, I don't think I really did. When we met, it was perfect, but they were all lies which I soon started to realise but was unable to exit.
Since after her telling me about her indiscretions As any father would, I started to question the paternity of the baby she was carrying and If I was the real father. As the time she was seeing those men, was the time she was seeing me and the time our son was conceived.
From that day on things took a turn for the worst and more and more her real self was staring to show. I found it hard to get back on my feet as there were not many jobs around at that time. She would constantly instigate an argument, for start belittling my, making me question my self-worth and even to go as far as telling me I should just DIE.
I had many witnesses as we were all under the one roof with my parents. I sank into a deep depression and anxiety, this was a constant daily struggle for me, but no one saw or spoke about it. I was isolated and unable to speak to anyone.
I then met a few people which was I admit the worst mistake at that time. Through the torment and daily emotional abuse, I resulted into substance.
Suddenly she would change, and be that person I met in at the start. She wooed me with amazing sex.
This occurred on off.. give or take.
But she would always go back to mental attacks about my worthiness to be the child's father. When I accepted him and forgot about what she did, I never brought it up. But more and more she brought up how I questioned hi paternity and that I was worthless and non-deserving. The patterns were starting to become apparent. I did not know what to do so I was asking everyone for help. I went to them told them what I thought was going on, but she had already infiltrated my family and those around me.
Again I was left isolated, no one believed me because smoked pot. She was still working as it was still early in her pregnancy, but to me, something just was not adding up. Never at the place she would say she is, when I picked her up, late. but when she is normally working always nearly on the dot. So I started looking at her behaviour and it was apparent she was doing something behind my back, I did not have any evidence at that time what so ever.. but I just knew. They said I was going crazy, even my own parents and brothers said I was crazy and I should get medical help.
I started to believe them and so I did. I was pushed by them to go to weekly therapy, one that was documented by the Government. I'll get back to that later.
So was taking medications I was not comfortable taking, made me really unstable in the head, and going to sessions in some way good as I finally had an outlet. Amidst all that I did well and then, she used the treatment as an attack taunting me daily.
I would start to find I was losing myself that I was nothing without her and I could not get out. I still believed that our boy deserved to have a full family.
Later, I would finally get back up on my feet, get a good job, only to be harassed and taunted that I was not making enough money. Trying to prove my worth again I would look for different ways. This time though now she was using our son as a means to HIT me where it really hurt. She would make me feel on top of the world 1 second then bank, hell the next.
She slowly started to bring out the issue of her visa status, as it was getting close to as it was the final year she was able to stay in Australia. Then I clicked. She was after status.
I then realised what she had been doing but still powerless to do anything as I had my own family pushing me towards her.
Time went on and the baby is born, I was happy as anyone who just gave birth, so was she. for a week.. on and off she again started with taunts and I would often walk away... it was not about me or her anymore it was about our boy.
Her mother came to stay with us as we sponsored her to come and be with her daughter and grandchild. Little did I know she was exactly the same.
Now I had the both of them, And this all the while under my house would manipulate stories, false accusations and so on. They would often do this while there was no one around so they were not exposed of their actions.
There was a good couple months when everything seemed back to normal and I was on my feet working good long hours.
Then VISA... I had told my parents and other people around me that I was not comfortable sponsoring her anymore as I was so sure that was all that she wanted from me. They egged me on, I kept refusing until one day I came home from work, I find her sitting on dining tale, her mother carrying my child.
She approached me with love and tenderness then opened up about the visa. When I told her of my decisions and my plans for them, which would work out still. she got physical. Yelling, tormenting, and punching me in the face. She wanted me to react to which I never did. All the while her mother was standing and following us letting our son bare witness. I asked her to please not be here but she kept following. I tried to escape through the door. She blocked, so I went through the back.
After some time a came back, parents again kept egging me to just sponsor her.. but I said no because that's all she wanted. But in the end, because they used my son to soften me I gave in and agreed.
But before we went to the immigration to lodge the application I had told them to see what they will do. And they will go soon after. She borrowed money from my parents to pay for the visa, which till this day she has not returned. Anyway, after lodging the visa.. 2 days later, they split.
HOW... She reported me for DV. This again took a massive blow in my life, I was in shock, shame, depressed, vulnerable, I was underground. my parents however finally understood what I meant.
We went through the legal proceedings and she took away all that I was entitled to. Because she would use my son as to a means to get what she wanted, I jumped through anything that she demanded.
1st Bday no contact. I saw him when he was already walking. Contact centre was not so hood as I felt like we had no freedom.
Everything was going well for all of us and I slowly noticed her letting me in more. She lured me in This time with OUR SON as bait.
We started to spend more time together and later she offered for me to live with them.
little did I know she again needed something. SHE wanted his passport, needing my signature and consent and a consent stating I am allowing my son to travel.. This time around though I knew how to act accordingly and that keeping track of her behaviour all the while just having a
Firstly I wish to thank you in advance for taking the time to read my question. I have been through hell and back twice only to find myself without any contact with my nearly 2-year-old son who she has sent overseas to the Philippines.
I will not go into detail as the events of what had occurred has caused me way to much Emotional and Psychological damage.. pushed to the point of suicidal.
Everything was so fast. We met early 2014. The most beautiful perfect human being you will ever come across. Everything that I was looking for was there. Gorgeous, funny, talented, smart ...and she wanted to be with me, I actually thought that I was dreaming. It was love at first sight or so I thought.
Having lived in Melbourne and her in Queensland, we would travel back and forth to see each other. I made all the necessary arrangements at the time regarding flights, accommodation and what not. As you do, feeling the way I did.
She gave me everything. and I was over the moon, I had the sense of I found the one.
A few months later she went overseas to the Philippines. I received a phone call. She said she was pregnant. I was of course over the moon. Happy because everything I had ever wanted is coming true.
Prior to her leaving though I can recall occurrences in her behaviour that were very erratic, to the point where she would vanish for a couple of days and on and off. I shrugged it off but even at that point in time I had a small inkling that something was not right.
She returned in October and I decided to move back to the QLD. For some reason, she did not want me to be there with them and on many occasions asked me to stay. I found very strange.
After moving back, she later confessed to me that, in the period that she was away on and off, she admitted to sleeping with a few different guys. It proved a huge blow to me. And I was not sure if I could recover. To be honest, I don't think I really did. When we met, it was perfect, but they were all lies which I soon started to realise but was unable to exit.
Since after her telling me about her indiscretions As any father would, I started to question the paternity of the baby she was carrying and If I was the real father. As the time she was seeing those men, was the time she was seeing me and the time our son was conceived.
From that day on things took a turn for the worst and more and more her real self was staring to show. I found it hard to get back on my feet as there were not many jobs around at that time. She would constantly instigate an argument, for start belittling my, making me question my self-worth and even to go as far as telling me I should just DIE.
I had many witnesses as we were all under the one roof with my parents. I sank into a deep depression and anxiety, this was a constant daily struggle for me, but no one saw or spoke about it. I was isolated and unable to speak to anyone.
I then met a few people which was I admit the worst mistake at that time. Through the torment and daily emotional abuse, I resulted into substance.
Suddenly she would change, and be that person I met in at the start. She wooed me with amazing sex.
This occurred on off.. give or take.
But she would always go back to mental attacks about my worthiness to be the child's father. When I accepted him and forgot about what she did, I never brought it up. But more and more she brought up how I questioned hi paternity and that I was worthless and non-deserving. The patterns were starting to become apparent. I did not know what to do so I was asking everyone for help. I went to them told them what I thought was going on, but she had already infiltrated my family and those around me.
Again I was left isolated, no one believed me because smoked pot. She was still working as it was still early in her pregnancy, but to me, something just was not adding up. Never at the place she would say she is, when I picked her up, late. but when she is normally working always nearly on the dot. So I started looking at her behaviour and it was apparent she was doing something behind my back, I did not have any evidence at that time what so ever.. but I just knew. They said I was going crazy, even my own parents and brothers said I was crazy and I should get medical help.
I started to believe them and so I did. I was pushed by them to go to weekly therapy, one that was documented by the Government. I'll get back to that later.
So was taking medications I was not comfortable taking, made me really unstable in the head, and going to sessions in some way good as I finally had an outlet. Amidst all that I did well and then, she used the treatment as an attack taunting me daily.
I would start to find I was losing myself that I was nothing without her and I could not get out. I still believed that our boy deserved to have a full family.
Later, I would finally get back up on my feet, get a good job, only to be harassed and taunted that I was not making enough money. Trying to prove my worth again I would look for different ways. This time though now she was using our son as a means to HIT me where it really hurt. She would make me feel on top of the world 1 second then bank, hell the next.
She slowly started to bring out the issue of her visa status, as it was getting close to as it was the final year she was able to stay in Australia. Then I clicked. She was after status.
I then realised what she had been doing but still powerless to do anything as I had my own family pushing me towards her.
Time went on and the baby is born, I was happy as anyone who just gave birth, so was she. for a week.. on and off she again started with taunts and I would often walk away... it was not about me or her anymore it was about our boy.
Her mother came to stay with us as we sponsored her to come and be with her daughter and grandchild. Little did I know she was exactly the same.
Now I had the both of them, And this all the while under my house would manipulate stories, false accusations and so on. They would often do this while there was no one around so they were not exposed of their actions.
There was a good couple months when everything seemed back to normal and I was on my feet working good long hours.
Then VISA... I had told my parents and other people around me that I was not comfortable sponsoring her anymore as I was so sure that was all that she wanted from me. They egged me on, I kept refusing until one day I came home from work, I find her sitting on dining tale, her mother carrying my child.
She approached me with love and tenderness then opened up about the visa. When I told her of my decisions and my plans for them, which would work out still. she got physical. Yelling, tormenting, and punching me in the face. She wanted me to react to which I never did. All the while her mother was standing and following us letting our son bare witness. I asked her to please not be here but she kept following. I tried to escape through the door. She blocked, so I went through the back.
After some time a came back, parents again kept egging me to just sponsor her.. but I said no because that's all she wanted. But in the end, because they used my son to soften me I gave in and agreed.
But before we went to the immigration to lodge the application I had told them to see what they will do. And they will go soon after. She borrowed money from my parents to pay for the visa, which till this day she has not returned. Anyway, after lodging the visa.. 2 days later, they split.
HOW... She reported me for DV. This again took a massive blow in my life, I was in shock, shame, depressed, vulnerable, I was underground. my parents however finally understood what I meant.
We went through the legal proceedings and she took away all that I was entitled to. Because she would use my son as to a means to get what she wanted, I jumped through anything that she demanded.
1st Bday no contact. I saw him when he was already walking. Contact centre was not so hood as I felt like we had no freedom.
Everything was going well for all of us and I slowly noticed her letting me in more. She lured me in This time with OUR SON as bait.
We started to spend more time together and later she offered for me to live with them.
little did I know she again needed something. SHE wanted his passport, needing my signature and consent and a consent stating I am allowing my son to travel.. This time around though I knew how to act accordingly and that keeping track of her behaviour all the while just having a
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