Five years ago sons ex partner left her 2 boys, J 8 months and L 3 years (undiagnosed Autistic, severe developmental delays), with my son. Her words to me "she needed a break, for a year", I agreed to care for them. My son worked away, and was absent but still providing for boys, financially and emotionally, for a few months then ceased work and became carer for J whilst living at my home. I had J diagnosed and set in motion a program to assist his development. I had both parents sign a statement allowing me care and custody of both boys until one of them could provide a stable home for both boys. The mother had very little contact, made arrangements to visit but did not arrive. I tried to encourage her to maintain a bond, but she failed to do this. I claimed child support from both parents for J who remained in my care financially, whilst physically sharing my home with his father (who is not named on J's birth certificate, but my son did signed a stat dec to Child support claiming rights as his father). The mother only paid any support when she was receiving benefits. Mother did not maintain any relationship or bond with the boys, on her very rare visits she was, and still is very unattached emotionally. My son and I obtained legal advice with regard to having some form of legal custody made and we were advised to "let sleeping dogs lie". After nearly 3 years my son and J and L began sharing a home with new partner and her children, and now have children from their relationship. They are a very large and happy family, with my sons new partner now called Mum by J and L, she provides constant care for them. J and L birth mother contacted my sons new partner and arranged a park visit, this has happened about 4 times in 2 years. Now the birth mother is contacting and demanding visits, all of which are suited entirely to her schedule, taking no consideration for my sons family. After her visits, J who is now 5 plus and in first year at school, is very emotional and has had some very extreme outbursts at school. L who is 8 and in his 3 year at a Special school shows some signs of emotional trauma too. The birth mother has demanded via a text...visiting them on 2 days every second weekend for the next 3 months with only the boys father in attendance (my son does not want to speak to her or see her) then having them all weekend in her sole care. We all....including educators.....feel that the boys should be having supervised visits with a lot of support from qualified professionals because of the emotional trauma they are suffering and also I feel strongly that the step Mum, who provides most of their care now and has been supporting the boys on the few visits the birth mother has had, should not be burdened with having to provide this support and is not adequately qualified from a psychological standpoint. Can anyone offer any advice on how we can get help with support for the children and legal documentation?
