QLD Mother Can't Agree to Parenting Plan - What to Do?

[Donna jones]

A friend of mine is currently trying to, through mediation, draw up a parenting plan with the ex-spouse. So far they have been unsuccessful. Each time the children are being returned to their mother by the father, the children are putting up a fight. She also then tries to begin an argument between them in front of the children.

Given that there is no set plan currently for them, if the father were to retain the children. What would become of it?

The mother won't agree to any terms of parenting plan until they have come to an agreement on a property settlement as she is very money driven. All the father wants to do is have a set agreement/arrangement for his daughters.

They have been attending mediation sessions now for almost a year. What should he do?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[sammy01]

How old are the kids? Are you saying they wanna live with dad more? What does he want? More time with kids?

What should he do? Probably apply to court. If he can't get her to agree to more time with kids, which I think it what you're suggesting? Apply to court - in court he is going to get someone else to decide when he sees the kids rather than the ex. I know who I'd prefer.

 

[Donna jones]

How old are the kids? Are you saying they wanna live with dad more? What does he want? More time with kids?

What should he do? Probably apply to court. If he can't get her to agree to more time with kids, which I think it what you're suggesting? Apply to court - in court he is going to get someone else to decide when he sees the kids rather than the ex. I know who I'd prefer.

The girls are almost 5 years old and 15 months old. He wants stability in their lives. A set routine - which days/nights are to be spent with each parent. One day the ex says he can have them during the week for overnights then she will take that back the next day or some days later. Then he can have them on weekends only. Every weekend - nothing during the week as she says she doesn't need his help during the week but in the next breath asks if he can have the girls overnight for the following day.

There is just no consistency. And it all comes down to what ever suits her. If he says no to her then she revokes on everything. She won't answer the phone when they have agreed times for him to call the girls.

It's very frustrating.

 

[sammy01]

So how long have they been separated?

Look the 15-month-old is the issue...My thoughts? Go along with it. Keep a diary of all the nights kids are with him. Try and organise so communication is via text message so there is an evidence trail of how often he has kids and how often she asks for him to have the kids. Be nice - play along. Get 4-6 months of track record - hopefully he will get somewhere between 5-6 nights a fortnight racked up on a regular basis.

He just needs to suck it up and be nice - then once there is a history of him having 4-6 nights and a history of him jumping when ever she calls and by then the little one will be nearly 2 years old. So you will have everything in place to make a court application. His case will be that he has been a co-operative parent, he has an established history of having substantial time and the younger one will be a bit older... So he will have a good case for shared care and that might be 50/50...

But for the minute, I think he just wants to rack up as much time as possible and by jumping when she calls - he is creating the perception that he is able to co-parent with her. So it is all about positioning himself for a good outcome if it comes to court....

So two more things - It wont come to court. Only about 5% of cases get decided by a judge. The threat of court will be enough most of the time.

Second thing - start learning how to self-represent - there is a good book called "breaking up' by a guy called Larkin and there are lots of good sources on the net - like this one. Nothing to stop you going to the nearest family law court and sitting in on a few cases... So in a few months you'll be well positioned to run a case without wasting a house load of money on solicitors...