NSW Mental Health Issues - Coming to an Agreement with Ex?

[ConfusedMama]

The ex and I are seemingly coming to an agreement regarding our children. I don't see the point in this continuing any longer. I love our kids and I want us both to have a normal life without the dramas of family court, but I have some questions.

We both suffer with mental health issues, mine from our abusive marriage, his are life long. If we went all the way to a final hearing, none of that is going to matter to the judge as long as the issues are being addressed, right? What things would matter to the judge in the end?

I'm asking so I can better weigh this up and know what questions of concern will be relevant to ask the ex when we have a discussion. I suppose also, once the case is closed if it's by consent, can it be opened again?

 

[sammy01]

Best interests of the kids... Simple. And the assumption is that it is in their best interest to have a meaningful relationship with both parents

 

[ConfusedMama]

So granted that this agreement will be in the best interest of the kids, there's no reason for the judge to not sign it?

 

[sammy01]

As long as magistrate has no concerns for welfare of the kids then yep you can come up with consent orders.

 

[AllForHer]

I've only seen a fairly small handful of cases where a judge has rejected consent orders. Most were because the consent orders were for sole parental responsibility, even though no evidence had been submitted to suggest sole parental responsibility was in the best interests of the kids. Others were because risks of violence between the parents or to the kids that had been raised in preceding evidence hadn't been properly addressed in the consent orders.

But generally, the Court upholds this inherent principle that parents know better than anyone else what's best for their own kids, so it doesn't often reject a consent order that the parents have agreed to themselves.

Keep in mind that even if the Court does reject your proposal, that doesn't automatically mean the Court will take over the decision for you. The more likely outcome is that the Court will give you reasons as to why it rejected the consent orders and encourage you to go try again, this time addressing the concerns the judge has raised. All this can be done on the day of hearing, too; it doesn't have to involve another lengthy adjournment.

 

[ConfusedMama]

I've only seen a fairly small handful of cases where a judge has rejected consent orders. Most were because the consent orders were for sole parental responsibility, even though no evidence had been submitted to suggest sole parental responsibility was in the best interests of the kids. Others were because risks of violence between the parents or to the kids that had been raised in preceding evidence hadn't been properly addressed in the consent orders.

But generally, the Court upholds this inherent principle that parents know better than anyone else what's best for their own kids, so it doesn't often reject a consent order that the parents have agreed to themselves.

Keep in mind that even if the Court does reject your proposal, that doesn't automatically mean the Court will take over the decision for you. The more likely outcome is that the Court will give you reasons as to why it rejected the consent orders and encourage you to go try again, this time addressing the concerns the judge has raised. All this can be done on the day of hearing, too; it doesn't have to involve another lengthy adjournment.

Thank you for that.
Can an agreement be reached and accepted by the judge before a family report? It's been ordered but no date/s given.
We don't want the kids to be put through any more of this.

Also, if one of our lawyers doesn't agree on our orders, who can sign in their place? A jp or would it have to be another lawyer?

 

[AllForHer]

Yes, an agreement can be accepted at any time while a matter is on foot.

If one of your lawyers doesn't agree on your orders, you can instruct them to sign them anyway, or you can just write your own and file as consent orders.

 

[ConfusedMama]

If he accepts the offer made, I assume we both have to sign and then they'll be submitted to the judge? Approximately, if you know or could direct me to a website, how long will it take for the Judge to get to it/sign it if they're happy to?

 

[sammy01]

Application for Consent Orders (do it yourself kit) - Family Court of Australia

will take about a fortnight to come back stamped by the court assuming they don't see any reason not to sign. What sort of access does it give dad? If you guys are in agreement, you can just go on your merry way implement the agreement. Sometimes getting them stamped by the court is a good idea but If you guys can get along then not having them stamped has some benefits too as far as flexibility... Personally, I'd always go for the court stamp... But that is because I don't trust my ex and that stamp helps me sleep at night when the kids are with the ex because it is a small security blanket in ensuring they will be returned

 

[ConfusedMama]

Application for Consent Orders (do it yourself kit) - Family Court of Australia

will take about a fortnight to come back stamped by the court assuming they don't see any reason not to sign. What sort of access does it give dad? If you guys are in agreement, you can just go on your merry way implement the agreement. Sometimes getting them stamped by the court is a good idea but If you guys can get along then not having them stamped has some benefits too as far as flexibility... Personally, I'd always go for the court stamp... But that is because I don't trust my ex and that stamp helps me sleep at night when the kids are with the ex because it is a small security blanket in ensuring they will be returned

We've been in the court system for about 18 months. I'm at the point where I just want it done, more for the kids sake so they're not effected and can settle into whatever the judge will stamp on.
I don't trust my ex either, I have no doubt he would fail to bring them home or even move interstate with them, as a move is on the cards for him in the future.