NSW Mediation, new partners and relocation

[AprilONeil]

Hi all,
About to start mediation and have been separated for about 4 months. My two main issues are that I want to relocate to Syd (4 hours drive from here and we moved here about a year ago) and I would like my ex to stick to the written informal parenting agreement we signed, which included an agreement that any new partners not be introduced to our kids within the first 6 months of the new relationship.

Any advice on these issues would be appreciated.

A bit of background. Our three kids are 5 and 4 (twins) and we moved from Syd last year for affordability. All of us had lived there all of our lives and it's where my family and support network are. We moved here as that's where exes mother in law is and she offered support with looking after kids for school and preschool drop off etc if we needed it. I haven't heard from her since the split. I have no support here and decided to seek permission to relocate rather than just doing it as i didn't want to risk having to be ordered back and uprooting the kids again.

We have a parenting agreement that we'd been sticking to which involved me having them 12 nights a fortnight and ex having them 2 nights. Ex would often hand the kids back one night early because "they're being f $#@ing annoying", or ex was tired, or more recently because ex wanted to drive several hours away with a new partner to pick up the new partner's kids.
We also agreed on introduction of new partners; however this was before ex partnered up and has now had a change of heart. They moved in together after two weeks and introduced kids. Our kids still don't really understand about their parents splitting.

There are also concerns about the new partner - an ex on the sex offenders register who has been known to break in in the middle of the night, alcohol abuse, ice, Docs involvement and more. I am friends with the new partners sister who is willing to provide evidence if required.

If mediation fails, what are my chances in court of being allowed to relocate?
Do parenting orders often or ever include something about delaying introduction of new partners?
Would court give 50/50 access given his history with handing them back early?

Sorry about the length!

 

[sammy01]

Courts ordering about new partners. FORGET IT. NO CHANCE.
Chance of moving back to Sydney? If dad wont agree, then court is your best option. Well safest... Chance of success? Sorry don't predict on that one. It is pretty much the only bit of family law that is way too unpredictable to offer advice upon. But you do have a few things going for you. The kids have lived mostly in Sydney and have only been in the current location for a year. Did dad want more time with the kids or is he good with 2 nights? See my thinking is he could still have them maybe 2 nights every 3 weeks for example and if you offered him a bit more than half holidays well that would look good in court.

Concerns about your ex's -ex? Forget it. If the new partner was on the sex offenders register well different story... AND concerns are not enough, courts are about evidence etc... Proof that your ex is dealing ice, as in police convictions / jail time. Well that is something that can be established as fact. But concerns.... well if that were justification for courts to stop access then every bugger would be lying through their teeth about 'concerns' true?

Plan B - High Risk... Move. Tell him you're moving and see what he does. Look he can't take you to court until you move (he could seek orders prior to you moving which would include a no relocation clause.) But he might not bother.
Plan C - Very High Risk - Move, don't tell him and hope he doesn't bother applying to court to have you brought back? Given he only has 2 nights a fortnight a solicitor could advise him that it aint worth the effort... But it is all very hypothetical and I can't tell the future. Maybe he could make a good case that he only has the 2 nights because that is all you'll let him have and moving away is simply you doing all you can to alientate him from his kids. Not saying it is the truth, but that case would be easy enough to make.

So do mediation - no agreement then apply to court. Chance of success? No idea.

 

[AprilONeil]

Thanks for the reply!
Yep I've heard that he wants 50/50 but that doesn't gel with reality as he doesn't even want them 2 nights /fortnight. So I'm suspicious that he's going for 50/50 only to reduce child support. I could be wrong!

I'm willing to travel the 4 hours each way once a month for the first year at least. Have no interest in reducing the time he spends with them. But am concerned about the new partner. She's even organised a family portrait for 5 kids and 2 adults! They've been together for a month now!

 

[LouiseThomas]

Forget about his partner or the 'agreement'. It's not your business and it won't get you anywhere so focus on the other stuff.

Mediation is best and first option but don't go on about his new partner, they aren't interested in that.