VIC Mediation After Ex Refuses Access to Son - What to Do?

[Support#ABF]

Quick question guys, just after some help.

This is pretty straight forward.

My ex and I had a personal agreement that I spend one week every third week with my son, who is 3, which worked well for 6 months. I then met my new partner and the jealousy attack came out and she refused me to see my son or talk to him.

We went to mediation and without getting Legal Aid. I had to agree to one weekend every three weeks, which I had to drive 350km to her town and had to find accommodation. I was looking at 25 grand to go to family court which I couldn't afford. Till then I wasn't allowed to contact my son. Been doing this for 2 months now and my son is so distressed and crying to go to daddy's house.

I ended up dropping him off 15minutes later than scheduled because he was so upset. I called her and let her know what was going on. I returned him to his mother's house, she turned around and told me that I'll be having no contact with my son. Then her partner came out and abused me and told me to f off in front of my son.

I organised another mediation that is coming up soon and I have a lawyer lined up under Legal Aid. She's already told me she won't agree to anything, so it will be decided by the judge.

Been so stressed lately wondering what will happen. Has anyone been through something similar where the ex won't let you be in contact? What was the outcome?

Thanks, guys.

 

[AllForHer]

Has anyone been through something similar?

Yes, pretty much everyone who comes to this forum has been through something similar. The story is identical for most, actually.

My husband's ex-wife saw their daughter four nights a fortnight, then stopped him seeing her when he met me. She even took the extra step of applying for a DVO.

After ten months in Court for parenting orders, we ended up with 50/50, week-about care.

I make it sound easy, but it definitely wasn't. In the last three years, we have had proceedings afoot for divorce, a child support dispute, parenting, and three DVOs, two as aggrieved, one as respondent. The only proceedings in which we didn't self-represent was the last DVO as the aggrieved.

If I may, what's your next step? Are you going to pursue the matter at Court? If so, this forum can provide you with a little guidance on the law, what to expect, and what you can do to advance your case.

 

[Support#ABF]

I'm not too sure, mate. I've never done anything like this before.

All I want is to spend quality time with my son and be part of his life. It will have to go to court if she doesn't agree to anything practical in the next mediation, but wouldn't the judge just look at her as if she was being stupid for just using my son as a weapon just to hurt me?

 

[sammy01]

Ok, so your first hurdle is the distance. Any chance you can move closer?

Now most cases don't get sorted by a magistrate. In most cases, folks work it out. But that is because eventually, twits like your ex realise that someone else is gonna tell them what is going to happen and they hate that, so they compromise. But you're gonna have to apply pressure to make it happen.

Do the mediation. It won't work...But try... Then apply to court. When the ex gets the court appearance notice, she just might start playing nice.

Now the other thing is to look after yourself. Mate, I've been there. It is emotionally hard work... Stay strong But keep up the fight. Your kid deserves that of you....

 

[Support#ABF]

Thanks, mate.

Unfortunately, I can't move closer due to running my business.

The worst part is she wants to go to court. I just want to come to a decent agreement and move on and live life. She's only doing that so I have to pull out my wallet but I don't understand how she's going to prove I'm a bad father and she's broken several previous mediation agreements.

I know my son will be wondering where I am and why I haven't talked to him. It's bloody hard when you can't do anything about it. I've read a few posts on here similar to mine and I don't know how anyone refers them as mothers. Honestly the whole thing is a joke and always makes out that the father is worthless.

 

[Matthew Lynch]

You are probably better off spending a bit to complete your court documents and get into court. Additional mediations are generally not going to resolve the matter if the first one has not been successful. You do not have to spend 25 grand to get the outcome you are seeking after starting proceedings.

If you get into court you can still resolve your matter by agreement, and the other person is more likely to reach a compromise with you after a few more independent people get involved such as the Judge, a Family Consultant, and perhaps an Independent Children's Lawyer to convince them that a lengthy hearing is generally unwise. The best value you will get out of the system is to complete your court documents and get underway.

 

[Support#ABF]

Thanks for the help, mate.