WA Investigating a EPA after death

[Milena]

Hi,
I was my mothers EPA for 10 years prior to her passing away recently, I am also along with my two sister executor and trustee of her will.
My elder sister is accusing me of misappropriation my mothers money while I was her EPA, she is threatening to take me to court coz according to her she has evidence that I used my mothers money for my own gain,my elder sister went to live overseas when she was in her 20's and has returned from time to time to see both my parents when my father was alive and then my mother over the last ten years for no more than a month at a time, as she was not living here when my mum started to deteorate due to the onset of Alzheimer's, I became appointed her EPA which my sister has never forgiven me for and since my mother passed away, she has done nothing but throw accusation at me and calling me a liar and thief, my question is, is she able to have me inverstgated for the years I was my mothers EPA? She never during the last 10 years on her numerous 1 month visit ever expressed concern about how I was dealing with my mothers financial situation so I'm at a loss as to why she is throwing all this at me know as I have never done anything inappropriate towards my mother or her finance and have had sole responsibly of my mothers care and finances especially when she was admitted into an age care facility for her safety as I was unable to care for her on my own. Hope someone can help me?

 

[Rob Legat - SBPL]

What do you want help with?

There's no way to stop her thinking you did something wrong if she's convinced herself you have. If you're comfortable with how you've discharged your duties as attorney, let her make the complaint. Odds are they're not going to listen to her, especially if she's been absent for the majority of the time.

What does your other sister say about how you've acted?

 

[Milena]

Thanks Rob..my other sister has no issue, it's just the older one I've always been at odds with..currently she is still here and causing me a lot of stress by throwing these accusations at me..I reside in my mums house for the past 6 years,
(which I now as well as my two sister am executor and trustee of) and she has stayed here whenever she has come over for her visits, yesterday she had a locksmith install a deadbolt on the door of the room she sleeps in and doesn't seem in a hurry to fly back overseas anytime soon (funny how for the last 10 years. she's only been able to stay for a month at a time due to family commitments but now my mum has passed she's staying for as long as she likes) both my sisters reside overseas and my other sister came for the funeral but had to fly back for personal reasons, she is coming back mid January so we can finalise my mum's estate and sell the house (the older one is in a hurry to get her share) we lodged probate just before she left and it now has been granted but as we are all three executors, we all have to be present to finalise things (another reason that has put the oldest nose out of joint) so really I don't know why she is still here since nothing can be done until next year..I know this whole thing sounds like a soap opera but it truly has become a nightmare..any thoughts and help would be much appreciated

 

[Rob Legat - SBPL]

Family estates are one of the areas which are prone to 'soap operas', as you put it. It is understandable to a degree. The death of a family member is a stressful time, and if someone harbours any form of grudge, it's an apt opportunity for that to become magnified.

There are several ways to approach this, and it largely comes down to family dynamic. Most will only work if everyone is being reasonable:
- You could approach things from a democratic point of view. There are three joint executors, so you can put everything to a vote if you think that would be acceptable.
- You can suggest all three of you 'sit down' when your other sister comes back, and try and hash it all out. Be open and explain your actions to try to settle the situation.
- With the agreement of your sisters, engage a mediator to work with you all together to try to resolve the issues. I would suggest a legally qualified mediator who can help with the technical aspects of the discharge of your duties as attorney. Finding an appropriate mediator can be done by contacting your state's law society.
- Suggest that if your sister is still concerned about your actions, to make a complaint and have the matter investigated. She should be aware, however, that this could delay the distribution of the estate.
- You could resign your position as an executor (formally or informally) and let your sisters make the decisions. I wouldn't suggest that you actually do this, but it is an option. Formal resignation is better than informal, but you'd need to convince the court of your reasons for doing so, and it would be contrary to what your mother wanted.

 

[Milena]

unfortunately an agreement between us will never happen and I have no intention of resigning my position of executor, if anything I should apply to the court to have her removed as executor as she is unreasonable and has been verbally and mentally abusing and harassing me since my mum passed away, I sent her an email (on advise of my GP) to inform her that I do not wish to continue to have any communication with her and should she continue with her verbal harassment, I will not hesitate to take out a family violence restraining order against her, I have kept a record of all the times she has verbally abused me since my mum died and intent to record via my phone any further altercations between us. Luckily, she's currently not staying at my mums house and hasn't stay for days at a time over the course of the last 6 weeks, she just wanted to stake her claim by putting the deadbolt on the room she was occupying (which by the way has some of my personal possessions without consent or prior knowledge of the other co owners of the property) its a very sad situation but one that I know cannot be resolved. I thank you most humbly for your comments and advised.