Im in a very sticky and difficult situation. The gist and crucial information is as follows.
I had a pretty bad childhood come from a broken family. Moved out at 16 came across my official partner of the last 10 yrs at this age he was 24 then. Fell pregnant at 17 gave birth to our first son at 18 in 2009. Then we went on to have 4 more children the last 1 in October last year. He also has 5 other children to 2 previous relationships before me. The relationship we had was not a great 1 he was very physically abusive for the first 5 yrs. I was the only 1 who cleaned and looked after the house and did 99.9% of anything that involves raising chikdren. He literally did nothing but lay on the lounge on his phone all day. And now found out the whoke 10 yrs he spent chatting up other women online. I only ever spoke out once and had him charged when he smashed our sons cricket bat over my knee because he was claiming i was favouritising xavier over his son kurt because he was yet again playing very aggressively and unfairly with xavier. The whole entire so called relationship my ex favouritised his eldest son kurt that was not mine he is 6 yrs older than Xavier. My ex has always denied Xavier untill recently we had DNA testing done because of behavioural issues. Kurt has been very aggressive, violent and nasty towards him since Xavier was 8 months old when he punched him in the forehead and left a nasty bruise and lump. I also brought this to my ex's attention I was very distressed. But you could say he abused me over all the years that anything kurt did to Xavier I was always exaggerating and trying to make my ex choose between his sons. More recently on thev14th of April this year my ex and in had an argument and resulted in him trying to strangle me which Xavier I'm sure witnessed. I have photos of the marks around my throat but didn't go to the police yet again. The last 4 month's trying to leave him has been more hell than what the last 10 yrs with him was. He manipulates me, plays the victim, lies about me all over social media, behaves in a way in another car next to me that makes me and our children believe he will commit suicide if I don't go back to him, holds my children against me and uses them to control me, fills their head with lies about me using drugs. Every time I try to reach out to police for help with an AVO or something when he starts carrying on they look through msgs and say that he's not threatening you so there's nothing they can do. They have even got sick of me ringing that they take at least 4 hrs to arrive and when they eventually do he's already traumatised me and left and they now ask me what I want them to do. I have tried reaching out to FACS but was turned down several times and told to ring the line which I have numerous times raising my concerns for my children's safety whilst there and have told them what has happened. But still nothing has been done. I've tried to ring legal lines to get advice and more or less get back each time report to police and facs and there's no family law orders in place I can keep them if I fear for their safety. I feel so lost and helpless it feels like this man is really out to destroy me and our kids. When I first left in was always fair and have offered 50/50 even if we went to mediation above my personal instincts and better judgement i still offered this to him. I'm currently trying to write down a chronological order of things that has happened in the last 4 months so when legal aid finally appoint me a lawyer I can just hand that book to them. So I actually have 2 questions first 1 is what do i write down what is important things and what actually is relevant in family law court? I just don't want to go in there like a raving loon like he has made me put to be with no proof. And secondly during this separation Xavier who was 9 at the time confided in me and told me that when he was at his father's kurt then 15 had picked him up by the throat and threw him into a wall. I questioned my ex about this and he downplayed it yet again and told Xavier he was a liar and trying to cause trouble. Later on I expressed my fears for kurt being around our son to troy and that I dont want him anywhere near our children untill he soughts help for kurt which he agreed. But it is now 7 weeks from then my ex has done nothing to help kurt he is still in the house unsupervised a lot around my children and have learnt recently that kurt has hurt Xavier yet again and nothing was done by my ex he couldn't care less really. So question 2 is can I do anything a out this legally myself to protect my son? I'm so sorry for how long this is im just so confused about it all. I have no friends and no support really during this separation. And it is beginning to feel like my ex is trying to rip me apart piece by piece. I just want him to leave me alone so I can finally be happy and a great mother to my kids. But somehow someway he finds a way to drag us back down every single day for the last 4 month's and is manipulating the system. I feel so defenseless please help!
I had a pretty bad childhood come from a broken family. Moved out at 16 came across my official partner of the last 10 yrs at this age he was 24 then. Fell pregnant at 17 gave birth to our first son at 18 in 2009. Then we went on to have 4 more children the last 1 in October last year. He also has 5 other children to 2 previous relationships before me. The relationship we had was not a great 1 he was very physically abusive for the first 5 yrs. I was the only 1 who cleaned and looked after the house and did 99.9% of anything that involves raising chikdren. He literally did nothing but lay on the lounge on his phone all day. And now found out the whoke 10 yrs he spent chatting up other women online. I only ever spoke out once and had him charged when he smashed our sons cricket bat over my knee because he was claiming i was favouritising xavier over his son kurt because he was yet again playing very aggressively and unfairly with xavier. The whole entire so called relationship my ex favouritised his eldest son kurt that was not mine he is 6 yrs older than Xavier. My ex has always denied Xavier untill recently we had DNA testing done because of behavioural issues. Kurt has been very aggressive, violent and nasty towards him since Xavier was 8 months old when he punched him in the forehead and left a nasty bruise and lump. I also brought this to my ex's attention I was very distressed. But you could say he abused me over all the years that anything kurt did to Xavier I was always exaggerating and trying to make my ex choose between his sons. More recently on thev14th of April this year my ex and in had an argument and resulted in him trying to strangle me which Xavier I'm sure witnessed. I have photos of the marks around my throat but didn't go to the police yet again. The last 4 month's trying to leave him has been more hell than what the last 10 yrs with him was. He manipulates me, plays the victim, lies about me all over social media, behaves in a way in another car next to me that makes me and our children believe he will commit suicide if I don't go back to him, holds my children against me and uses them to control me, fills their head with lies about me using drugs. Every time I try to reach out to police for help with an AVO or something when he starts carrying on they look through msgs and say that he's not threatening you so there's nothing they can do. They have even got sick of me ringing that they take at least 4 hrs to arrive and when they eventually do he's already traumatised me and left and they now ask me what I want them to do. I have tried reaching out to FACS but was turned down several times and told to ring the line which I have numerous times raising my concerns for my children's safety whilst there and have told them what has happened. But still nothing has been done. I've tried to ring legal lines to get advice and more or less get back each time report to police and facs and there's no family law orders in place I can keep them if I fear for their safety. I feel so lost and helpless it feels like this man is really out to destroy me and our kids. When I first left in was always fair and have offered 50/50 even if we went to mediation above my personal instincts and better judgement i still offered this to him. I'm currently trying to write down a chronological order of things that has happened in the last 4 months so when legal aid finally appoint me a lawyer I can just hand that book to them. So I actually have 2 questions first 1 is what do i write down what is important things and what actually is relevant in family law court? I just don't want to go in there like a raving loon like he has made me put to be with no proof. And secondly during this separation Xavier who was 9 at the time confided in me and told me that when he was at his father's kurt then 15 had picked him up by the throat and threw him into a wall. I questioned my ex about this and he downplayed it yet again and told Xavier he was a liar and trying to cause trouble. Later on I expressed my fears for kurt being around our son to troy and that I dont want him anywhere near our children untill he soughts help for kurt which he agreed. But it is now 7 weeks from then my ex has done nothing to help kurt he is still in the house unsupervised a lot around my children and have learnt recently that kurt has hurt Xavier yet again and nothing was done by my ex he couldn't care less really. So question 2 is can I do anything a out this legally myself to protect my son? I'm so sorry for how long this is im just so confused about it all. I have no friends and no support really during this separation. And it is beginning to feel like my ex is trying to rip me apart piece by piece. I just want him to leave me alone so I can finally be happy and a great mother to my kids. But somehow someway he finds a way to drag us back down every single day for the last 4 month's and is manipulating the system. I feel so defenseless please help!
