I received nudes from my (ex) girlfriend 3 years ago when we were both minors. I deleted all of them the same year I got them, but I am still paranoid

[Paranoid Thoughts]

TL;DR - Please go to the bottom of the post for my questions.

3 years ago, I was in a relationship with my now ex girlfriend who was the same age as me. Both of us were 15. Our relationship lasted 9-10 months and we ended on good terms.

So, my girlfriend started off with giving "hints" of sexting for a few months - saying things like "imagine if I actually sent you nudes", before she eventually... offered to send me nudes.

I accepted. My girlfriend then started sending me pictures and a couple of videos of her chest (but never below the waist). She sent these on Snapchat and Instagram.

I screenshotted them, all of which I deleted a few months after we broke up.

I have never sent any material of myself. So I only ever received it, not produced it.

I knew about the potential legal repercussions of this at the time, but I accepted anyway.

But the day I received them... I realized I made a grave mistake. I had failed to take into account the consideration of whether my psyche would be able to handle the risk this incurs, which it can't.

Ever since then, I have had several bouts of severe anxiety and paranoia.

I am paranoid about getting arrested and going to jail or prison at any time in my life for this, provided that law enforcement somehow gets involved and finds evidence by subpoenaing Snapchat and Instagram (that's the only way I can think of since I deleted the content years ago).

It's distressing. I have big goals and ambitions for my life - imagine I achieve what I wanted and am enjoying life, and then I get imprisoned seemingly out of the blue for something I was did when I was 15.

It's causing me so much anxiety that I can't even conceive of achieving my goals anymore because I think "What if I get imprisoned? It would have all been for nothing."

Currently, we still talk to each other platonically since we ended on good terms. It just baffles me how she never seemed worried about this in the slightest. She was the opposite and was rather eager about showing herself.

I on the other hand have been so anxious that I find myself paralyzed from doing anything other than worrying about this and how my life might be ruined.

I wish I never accepted her offer.

Even though nothing has actually happened to me since then in terms of law enforcement. I feel like I have to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life.

I feel like I can't live my life in peace anymore.

I figured that my paranoia might be stemming from confusion and uncertainty about what could actually happen to me. So...

Here are my questions:

1. If the images and videos were deleted and I no longer have access to any of them, am I safe?
2. Is giving hints of sexting each other (example: "imagine if I actually sent you nudes") a crime if both parties are minors?
3. Can I still be charged for possession if I was only in possession of it years ago but am not currently in possession of it since I deleted them?
4. If I get arrested, how long would I have to be in jail for? Would I be charged as a minor or an adult (now that I am an adult)?
5. Am I risking exposing myself by making this post?
6. Is there a Statute of Limitations for this? Since I am worried about this being brought up at some random point during the remainder of my life.

 

[Nighthelyn]

Dear Paranoid Thoughts,

This non-profit organisation is very helpful - you should consider contacting them to discuss how to address your situation.

Sexting | Youth Law Australia

Find out what the law says about sexting (sending nude or sexy pictures and texts). We also explain what you can do if the sexting is unwanted.

yla.org.au

If you were under 18 when the alleged offence occurred, the chances of you getting into trouble for sexting are lower, especially if you are sexting someone who is around your age with their permission. But it is not foolproof - so contact YLA, take every action, don’t do it again, and in the (hopefully unlikely event) police contact you, don’t say anything - I mean it nothing!! - and get legal advice first.

Answering your questions specifically:

1. If the images and videos were deleted and I no longer have access to any of them, am I safe? Good start, but not 100% - there are more you should do. Contact YLA.
2. Is giving hints of sexting each other (example: "imagine if I actually sent you nudes") a crime if both parties are minors? Technically it is enough to satisfy one arm of this alleged offence “solicit” but even without it mere possession is also sufficient for this alleged offence.
3. Can I still be charged for possession if I was only in possession of it years ago but am not currently in possession of it since I deleted them? It would be much less likely but not 100% - contact YLA.
4. If I get arrested, how long would I have to be in jail for? Would I be charged as a minor or an adult (now that I am an adult)? If you are not doing it anymore and you both were under 18 chances are it is unlikely for the police to pursue but there are other factors. It is true if it is serious enough the penalty may be you being recorded in a register, fine or jail time - it would have to be much more serious than what you described. If charged now it would be charged as adult. Could be several years if convicted (But I emphasise it is unlikely). Contact YLA.
5. Am I risking exposing myself by making this post? Unlikely but this is a public forum. If you are worried once you are satisfied with your queries it is probably a good idea to remove it.
6. Is there a Statute of Limitations for this? Since I am worried about this being brought up at some random point during the remainder of my life. There is actually no such thing as statute of limitation from crime, but generally minor ones are not pursued if older than 6 months, and more serious indictable offences like in this case, unlikely to commence prosecution after 2-3 years - assuming you don’t do so anymore since 15, and as discussed both of you were minor and consenting.

Good luck!
-Nighthelyn

 

[Paranoid Thoughts]

Hello Nighthelyn thank you so much for replying.

This non-profit organisation is very helpful - you should consider contacting them to discuss how to address your situation.

When I went to their contact page it's requiring me to give all of my personal information which I don't feel comfortable giving. Is there any way I can talk to someone anonymously?

If you were under 18 when the alleged offence occurred, the chances of you getting into trouble for sexting are lower, especially if you are sexting someone who is around your age with their permission.

Yes, both of us were 15 and it was consensual.

If I took this exact situation and made it such that both of us were legal adults at 18+ years of age, then no offence would have been committed. My only worry is that we were minors.

If the images and videos were deleted and I no longer have access to any of them, am I safe? Good start, but not 100% - there are more you should do. Contact YLA.

What more things could I do? Like I said before YLA asks for personal information to contact them which I don't want to give.

Is giving hints of sexting each other (example: "imagine if I actually sent you nudes") a crime if both parties are minors? Technically it is enough to satisfy one arm of this alleged offence “solicit” but even without it mere possession is also sufficient for this alleged offence.

Okay. But lets say that there is zero evidence of me ever possessing it, can one still be convicted for just messages if no pictures or videos were exchanged?

If you are not doing it anymore and you both were under 18 chances are it is unlikely for the police to pursue but there are other factors. It is true if it is serious enough the penalty may be you being recorded in a register, fine or jail time - it would have to be much more serious than what you described.

I was never involved in anything like that ever since. And this was 3 years ago.

What other factors could there be?

If charged now it would be charged as adult.

Okay so to be clear, lets say I'm 25 years old, but am getting charged for something that was done at 15 (minor), I would be charged as an adult even though I was a minor when the offence was commited?

but generally minor ones are not pursued if older than 6 months, and more serious indictable offences like in this case, unlikely to commence prosecution after 2-3 years - assuming you don’t do so anymore since 15, and as discussed both of you were minor and consenting.

I should be safe then right? It has been over 3 years for me and I haven't been involved with anything like that ever since.

What is making me so paranoid is the possibility of this being brought up at any time in my life until the day I die. Have there ever been cases of teens going to prison for sexting each other? Or any case that is similar to my situation?

One question: Can me saying all this online be used to convict me? Or am I protected by the First Amendment?

 

[Nighthelyn]

Hi Paranoid Thoughts,

I don’t have further input - it is not my area of expertise - YLA or some other community legal centre is your next step - and you don’t have to fill in the form you can just telephone them. Most of these legal services are happy to deal with you either anonymously (meaning they only ask for you postcode and age for statistics, but also mean they only give you general advice) or with your personal details (then they give you more tailored advice). You have to decide what you are prepared to give them in terms of personal information otherwise you will have to consult your own private criminal lawyer.

Good luck!
-Nighthelyn

 

[Paranoid Thoughts]

Hello Nighthelyn,

Where can I find the Statute of Limitations for this type of thing?

There is actually no such thing as statute of limitation from crime, but generally minor ones are not pursued if older than 6 months, and more serious indictable offences like in this case, unlikely to commence prosecution after 2-3 years

I've seen that United States has statute of limitations. So is this only the case for Oceania where they don't have statute of limitations?

 

[Paranoid Thoughts]

Hi Nighthelyn,

I remember her often talking to me about how crazy her mother is and how her mother always tries to sabotage her.

I have never met, seen, or talked to her mother, but from what she's told me, her mother seems like the type of parent that would try to do something if she ever figured out she had a boyfriend in the past, let alone sent nudes to them.

Even though our relationship was 3 years ago, on the off chance that, in the future, her mother ever finds out about the relationship we had, would she be able to sue me over this? And would she still be able to sue me even if there is no proof of any images being sent and only sexual text messages?

 

[Ricardo]

What would she possibly be suing you for? In practical terms, no. But even if she did, under what tort? How have you wronged her or her daughter? As you say, everything was "consensual", so under civil law, there is nothing to sue for.

So, please only try to focus on criminal law.
Under criminal law, the offences relate to "intimate images" and "child abuse material" if the person was under 18 in the images.

In terms of child abuse material, there is an exception because you were under 18:
"A person does not commit an offence under section 91H of possessing child abuse material if—
(a) the possession of the material occurred when the accused person was under the age of 18 years"

Since you were under 18 at the time, the odds of this being a problem are very slim.
Next, you deleted them, right? Therefore there is no evidence.

Also, if you were under 18 at the time, they have discretionary factors not to prosecute you, and if they wish to do so, they need special permission from the Director of Public Prosecutions.

 

[Paranoid Thoughts]

Hello Ricardo, thank you for your reply.

What would she possibly be suing you for? In practical terms, no. But even if she did, under what tort? How have you wronged her or her daughter? As you say, everything was "consensual", so under civil law, there is nothing to sue for.

In truth, she couldn't sue me for anything since I never harmed her or her daughter. But she could twist things and say that I did something to her daughter when I didn't, right? But would that have any validity in law enforcement's eyes or would it just be seen has hearsay?

Can you be prosecuted merely for someone saying you did something (A.K.A a false accusation) without evidence?

In terms of child abuse material, there is an exception because you were under 18:
"A person does not commit an offence under section 91H of possessing child abuse material if—
(a) the possession of the material occurred when the accused person was under the age of 18 years"

Since you were under 18 at the time, the odds of this being a problem are very slim.

I did not know this! Thank you so much for this information.

Next, you deleted them, right? Therefore there is no evidence.

Yes, and they've been deleted for years.

My worry is that we have messages from 3 years ago where we give each other "hints" of sexting as mentioned in the original post. Where she played around saying things like "Imagine if I sent you nudes" and I replied with "Haha maybe I'll send one back" (I never actually sent any nudes). We also said sexually explicit things like her saying "F**k me please" and "you're so hot" with a bunch of "sexy" emojis.

These messages weren't on Snapchat so they aren't deleted and still exist, but she didn't send any actual nude pictures through the normal messaging app, it was just "sexy texts".

I read that this could count as solicitation of CP, which is an offence even if no images were exchanged. Could such messages be used as incriminating evidence?

The only way the messages could be accessed is if law enforcement search through either of our phones some time in the future. Or if they get a subpoena for the messaging service.

Also, if you were under 18 at the time, they have discretionary factors not to prosecute you, and if they wish to do so, they need special permission from the Director of Public Prosecutions.

So they can choose whether they want to exercise this law and prosecute right?

What would the discretionary factors be? The fact that both of us were the same age? The fact that it was consensual? The fact that no harm was done to either of us?

 

[Ricardo]

Can you be prosecuted merely for someone saying you did something (A.K.A a false accusation) without evidence?

Under criminal law, the burden of proof is "beyond all reasonable doubt".
Prosecutors won't prosecute you if there isn't enough evidence to make a case.
In your case, if the images are deleted, they are most likely lost.
Even if they subpoena snapchat, it would take months for them to get a response, and if you marked them as deleted, they typically only stay on their servers for 100 days.

What would the discretionary factors be? The fact that both of us were the same age? The fact that it was consensual? The fact that no harm was done to either of us?

In terms of discretionary factors, primarily the fact that you were under 18 and that no moral harm seems to have been done.
If you had, for example, set up a commercial porn website and distributed her photos and charged people money to see them, for example, then perhaps *maybe* the state *would think about prosecuting someone who was under 18.

In your case, you didn't distribute them, you deleted them, there is no evidence, any possible evidence is probably lost, and they'd need to prove the case "beyond reasonable doubt"

Look, we could go back and forth all day on the intricacies of criminal law, but from all the replies, you should be able to get the gist of it: you don't have anything to worry about.
Of course, I'm not a lawyer, and even the lawyers here aren't necessarily briefed on all aspects of your case, but from everything I've read, I encourage you to relax.
The police have much better things to do with their time than pursue every person under 18 who has possessed intimate images when no moral harm has been committed - it would completely clog up the judicial system. They also don't have the resources.

 

[Ricardo]

Also keep in mind, that the person who sent you the nudes would also be culpable.
The sender would be culpable for distribution, the receiver would be culpable for possession.
The sender is not culpable for possession if she's under 18 and the only person depicted in the nude, but she'd be culpable for distribution.
You wouldn't be culpable for distribution unless you sent it to someone, but you'd be culpable for possession. But, since you deleted them, possession would not be possible to prove (see below)

Below is some information from the state law.

Taken from Crimes Act 1900 (NSW)

child means a person who is under the age of 16 years.

91H Production, dissemination or possession of child abuse material
(1) In this section—
disseminate child abuse material, includes—
(a) send, supply, exhibit, transmit or communicate it to another person, or
(b) make it available for access by another person, or
(c) enter into any agreement or arrangement to do so.
possess child abuse material includes, in relation to material in the form of data, being in
possession or control of data (within the meaning of section 308F (2)).
produce child abuse material includes—
(a) film, photograph, print or otherwise make child abuse material, or
(b) alter or manipulate any image for the purpose of making child abuse material, or
(c) enter into any agreement or arrangement to do so.

(2) A person who produces, disseminates or possesses child abuse material is guilty of an offence.

(3) Proceedings for an offence under this section against a child or young person may only be
instituted by or with the approval of the Director of Public Prosecutions.

there is this exception:

A person does not commit an offence under section 91H of possessing child abuse material if—
(a) the possession of the material occurred when the accused person was under the age of 18 years,
and
(b) a reasonable person would consider the possession of the material by the accused person as
acceptable having regard to each of the following (to the extent relevant)—
(i) the nature and content of the material,
(ii) the circumstances in which the material was produced and came into the possession of the accused person,
(iii) the age, intellectual capacity, vulnerability or other relevant circumstances of the child depicted in the material,
(iv) the age, intellectual capacity, vulnerability or other relevant circumstances of the accused person at the time the accused person first came into possession of the material and at the time that the accused person’s possession of the material first came to the attention of a
police officer,
(v) the relationship between the accused person and the child depicted in the material.

Also, here is the part about prosecuting people under 18:

Proceedings for an offence under this section against a child or young person may only be
instituted by or with the approval of the Director of Public Prosecutions

child means a person who is under the age of 16 years.
young person means a person who is of or above the age of 16 years and under the age of 18 years.