WA How to Get Restraining Order Removed?

[FindingAnAnswer1]

Hey everyone,

Over the last few years I've pretended to be my bf. He isnt aware that I did this. Sometimes I would tell him I messaged his ex (they have a child together and never got along so I messaged her, pretending to be him but s**t went wrong recently and I've been doing this the last couple of years). He isn't aware of what i msg to her though.

Just sometimes I would ask him if I could message her to speak to their child or if they needed money. I informed him about those messages. So much has been said but now she's putting a restraining order on him because I said we'd move to where they live. I told her it was me who messaged her. She doesn't care and is still doing it.

How do I make this better? Who do I go to and say that I did this? I don't want my partner getting in trouble for something I did.

 

[Lance]

Hi,

It sounds like you are willing to do the right thing and the fact that you told his ex is great. If she uses that as the grounds for the order against your BF he can present that in court. It would be interesting to know what the grounds of the restraining order are!

You should tell your BF, tell him you owned up and she didn't care but he needs to know what's coming his way. Your BF might want to speak to a lawyer once he is issued with order. Once he gets it you can jump back on here and you might get some useful information.

 

[sammy01]

OK - so... You have told BF of your folly? He has probably worked it out already. You go to the cops and tell them the truth. Without giving details, what was the content of the message(s)?

So technically, you've potentially committed a few crimes - using a device to intimidate / threat. But best to be honest...

Lesson - If you would not say it to your granny, don't say it to anyone else...

 

[FindingAnAnswer1]

So I told her that we'd move there and be neighbours, that she's useless and should get a job. She can't cope with their daughter. It wasn't anything crazy like I'm coming for you and gonna kill you nonsense.

He already knows but isn't aware of every message I've sent. He also told me to just wait till we see the lawyer. She said she's in the process of it, so it could be months till we receive anything. She also doesn't know our address.

She lives in a different state. Do I ring their police station or mine?

Thank you so much for the replies.

 

[FindingAnAnswer1]

I just dont want him to get into trouble for something I did. His ex didn't even go off her nut when I told her. She said 'it probably was you that sent those messages'.

I also told her that if she used those messages as evidence it would be false accusations because she knows it was me, so she'd have to inform her lawyer.

I'm such a big mouth, honestly. I was trying to do the right thing and fix their issue but I can't -_-

 

[MartyK]

...honestly i was trying to do the right thing and fix their issue but i cant -_-

So i told her that wed move there and be neighbours, that shes useless and should get a job, she cant cope with their daughter.

I'm not sure how the above qualifies as 'fixing' anything. In actuality, such communications, would, and have, made things considerably worse for your partner, between your partner and his former partner.

Depending on the exact chain of communications you have sent, even with you alleging the communications were sent by you, with the phone (and her contact details) being the property of your partner, not you, she may be able to get an order against you both.

Wait to see what your lawyer says.

 

[sammy01]

What you did fits the definition of harassment... But more importantly, how the hell did you think it was gonna help the situation...?

So it is his phone - his problem and I can assure you that you're only making it worse by contacting her and telling her what she can and can not do with those text messages. My opinion is to understand that you have nothing to do with his ex.

My recommendation - do nothing - don't contact her. Let him deal with it. Don't bother going to see a solicitor either. Wait. Do nothing and wait.

If the cops don't contact him within a week then it is fairly likely that she hasn't gone to the cops...but realise this - if you choose to continue sending her text messages, then you need to ask yourself what you think you're going to achieve.

BTW - my ex is useless, stupid and unemployed. Nothing is going to be achieved by telling her that she is useless, stupid and unemployed because she is too useless and stupid to understand...

 

[FindingAnAnswer1]

She said 'You're probably saying the truth but to be honest I don't know if I can believe you 'cause the funny thing what was said is someone the messages happened I got sent paperwork from a mediation place. And even if it was you, your 'partner' is just the same. He says the same thing.'

 

[sammy01]

Oops, one more thing (maybe two):

Look, at this point she is only saying that she has gone for an AVO... She might not - but if she did - I agree with Marty. You could both get in trouble with the law. So do nothing until the cops call - they might not...

You have done nothing to make this situation better, have you? So why communicate in the way you have?

Learn from your mistakes

Rant over

 

[FindingAnAnswer1]

Oh, those messages were a few months ago. It stems back to 5-6 years ago! They've always hated each other and could never handle speaking to one another. My purpose for even speaking to him when we met was to help him with her.

I have said nice things - those are just the bad things I've said. So don't call the cops? Foot in mouth guys.

I don't mind me being done for harassment; I'd prefer it actually. I'm willing to take the cop for what I've done. I just don't know how to do it.