Hey. So I'm not sure where to start with my question. I can't afford a lawyer so I want to know how to go about this but it still holds some legal weight if needed.
The ex-husband and I have been divorced for 6 months now, so time is ticking. Our assets at the time of separation were worth between 120k and 150k. No house, just cars and household assets, some cash. I walked away with a $20k car and my clothes and personal affects, our child's clothes and toys maybe another $10k. He has kept the rest.
We have 2 young kids together. At time of separation, he encouraged me to move 1200 klms away to family, given what he had done. I was more then happy to do this. I typed up a basic document saying that he had given permission for this to happen.
As I was pregnant at the time and unable to work due to medical conditions with the pregnancy, it was agreed that as it would still be some time after the baby's birth before I got a job, he would travel and foot the expense to come see the kids. It's been 2 years and in that time, he has seen the kids 4 times. Twice it was me that travelled with the kids to see him at my own expense.
He earns in excess of $160k a year, however, has a sublime accountant that makes his taxable income more to the tune of $50 - $60k (I have no interest in dobbing him in, he will get caught on his own doing and not by me. I can't deal with the karma as I feel it's a spiteful thing to do).
He always has excuses to not see the kids, even when I offer to bring them to him, I can't so I've given up. We have no parenting plans or court orders. I remain very flexible with him coming to see them and any Skype communication he wants.
He's recently done tax and his child support has bumped up rather significantly in some ways. I think good as he refused to pay for 8 months and then when he did decide to pay, he paid such a little amount due to not doing tax in years and his last tax assessment been very low. He then caught up with tax and his child support bumped up a little and then he's done this year's tax and it's gone up a lot.
Under normal circumstances, I believe it's more than what it actually costs to raise the two kids but in other ways I think it's good because of him not paying for such a long time and then paying such a minimal amount when he could afford more. While I was struggling to pay for urgent surgery, my son needed money. He refused to help me out to even pay a quarter but went out and bought 2 motor bikes cash for $32k.
When I questioned him how 1 bike let alone 2 bikes was more important than his son's surgery, he told me he pays child support. I need to live within my means?
Moving on, he's now thrown it in my face he can no longer see the kids (not that he has) as it's not financially viable for him and that I'm to pay half of his travel expenses otherwise I'm denying him of a meaningful relationship with his kids. He's now even started on Skype to say to the kids he can't come see them because mummy won't give him money. I know he can do that if he wants but it's just wrong.
So I'm wanting to come to an agreement to say I will forgo my share of our assets, however, if we agree that my share was for example $80k that that's what he's meant to use to come see his kids for like nearly the next 10 years based on his 2 visits over the last 2 years. Is it a reasonable negotiation? Or is it just stupid?
I don't want my kids to come back to me in 15 years times and blame me for not seeing their dad cause he couldn't afford it (when he can well and truly). I can't afford to pay half of his travel expenses. He left me with a lot of debt (which I stupidly agreed to take on in lieu of getting the car) plus the medical expenses for the surgery and on going check ups. I just can't afford it to pay half his travel.
I personally feel like I can deal with loosing out on my share of our assets in property settlement for peace of mind that I did do everything I can to make it financially easy for him to see his kids. If he then still wants to play the poor card, it's not my problem? How would I go about getting something like this written up under family law?
Thanks for your time.
The ex-husband and I have been divorced for 6 months now, so time is ticking. Our assets at the time of separation were worth between 120k and 150k. No house, just cars and household assets, some cash. I walked away with a $20k car and my clothes and personal affects, our child's clothes and toys maybe another $10k. He has kept the rest.
We have 2 young kids together. At time of separation, he encouraged me to move 1200 klms away to family, given what he had done. I was more then happy to do this. I typed up a basic document saying that he had given permission for this to happen.
As I was pregnant at the time and unable to work due to medical conditions with the pregnancy, it was agreed that as it would still be some time after the baby's birth before I got a job, he would travel and foot the expense to come see the kids. It's been 2 years and in that time, he has seen the kids 4 times. Twice it was me that travelled with the kids to see him at my own expense.
He earns in excess of $160k a year, however, has a sublime accountant that makes his taxable income more to the tune of $50 - $60k (I have no interest in dobbing him in, he will get caught on his own doing and not by me. I can't deal with the karma as I feel it's a spiteful thing to do).
He always has excuses to not see the kids, even when I offer to bring them to him, I can't so I've given up. We have no parenting plans or court orders. I remain very flexible with him coming to see them and any Skype communication he wants.
He's recently done tax and his child support has bumped up rather significantly in some ways. I think good as he refused to pay for 8 months and then when he did decide to pay, he paid such a little amount due to not doing tax in years and his last tax assessment been very low. He then caught up with tax and his child support bumped up a little and then he's done this year's tax and it's gone up a lot.
Under normal circumstances, I believe it's more than what it actually costs to raise the two kids but in other ways I think it's good because of him not paying for such a long time and then paying such a minimal amount when he could afford more. While I was struggling to pay for urgent surgery, my son needed money. He refused to help me out to even pay a quarter but went out and bought 2 motor bikes cash for $32k.
When I questioned him how 1 bike let alone 2 bikes was more important than his son's surgery, he told me he pays child support. I need to live within my means?
Moving on, he's now thrown it in my face he can no longer see the kids (not that he has) as it's not financially viable for him and that I'm to pay half of his travel expenses otherwise I'm denying him of a meaningful relationship with his kids. He's now even started on Skype to say to the kids he can't come see them because mummy won't give him money. I know he can do that if he wants but it's just wrong.
So I'm wanting to come to an agreement to say I will forgo my share of our assets, however, if we agree that my share was for example $80k that that's what he's meant to use to come see his kids for like nearly the next 10 years based on his 2 visits over the last 2 years. Is it a reasonable negotiation? Or is it just stupid?
I don't want my kids to come back to me in 15 years times and blame me for not seeing their dad cause he couldn't afford it (when he can well and truly). I can't afford to pay half of his travel expenses. He left me with a lot of debt (which I stupidly agreed to take on in lieu of getting the car) plus the medical expenses for the surgery and on going check ups. I just can't afford it to pay half his travel.
I personally feel like I can deal with loosing out on my share of our assets in property settlement for peace of mind that I did do everything I can to make it financially easy for him to see his kids. If he then still wants to play the poor card, it's not my problem? How would I go about getting something like this written up under family law?
Thanks for your time.
