NSW Family Law - Dealing with Ex Refusing Access to Daughters?

[finoallefine43]

A quick snapshot:

We separated last August and since then have been working on a 5 on-5 off with the children and it's worked well, albeit my ex-wife had threatened on several occasions not to return the girls. She finally carried out that threat a week last Monday, meaning I have now not seen my daughters for over two weeks!

She's played dirty by using the school holidays as a time because normally on changeover day, one would drop off at school and the other would collect so she was never in a real opportunity to carry out this threat until now.

We went for mediation to put formal parenting plan together but as her session was a few days before mine and two days after she decided not to return the children, she clearly went in to sabotage mediation as it's allowed her some extra time before the girls return to school next week.

Currently our lawyers are trying to negotiate some interim access - my ex suggested I get access two weekends a month only so I've asked my lawyer to go back for more and won't know until next week.

She has also asked for an AVO to be served which was lodged last Friday but not served to me as yet because she knows if I cannot approach her if I bumped into her and the children. She has been pretty much in hiding with the girls and only allowed me the odd occasional FaceTime with them since not returning them.

Technically she hasn't broken the family law but she has taken the law into her own hands.

Any suggestions?

 

[sammy01]

Have the cops taken the AVO against you or has she had to make a sole application?

Look as far as AVO's go... they are a daily occurrence in family law. If you bump into the ex at the shops, say hi and walk away - so what... You might find yourself at the cop shop but don't worry...But if every time she goes to the shops, she bumps into you well that is stalking.

So what are the grounds for the AVO?

I'd be advising your solicitor that unless there is something you've failed to mention then your solicitor should be writing to her demanding a resumption of the parenting plan and if she refuses that, you'll be applying to court. And that is exactly what you should do...apply to court ASAP.

Look the court will make you do mediation again, but the threat of court will motivate her to reconsider her options.

Final thought - play hard, but play fair. But the sooner you apply to court the better.

Oops - One more thing... Do you have any concern that she has relocated with the kids to a different school area / location / state?

 

[finoallefine43]

No she made a sole application. She's saying I'm angry - bla bla bla, made up lots of false allegations (the usual!)...

We are attempting to negotiate some interim access but I will suggest to my lawyer that too. I know she hasn't relocated but given her behaviour of late, I have to expect every scenario as she clearly is on a mission to not only withhold the children for as long as possible but to also deny any access at all.

The second scenario is Tuesday, they go back to school and as we stand she has nothing in writing to say that the girls must remain with her so I could go and collect them and she knows that so I have to bide my time and sweat it out a few more days!

 

[sammy01]

OK, so this is where it gets bloody messy.

Yup - you could go and get the kids... but probably not a great idea. Maybe contact here and inform her that unless she indicates differently then you intend to pick up kids on Tuesday and continue with the agreed 5/5 parenting plan from there... But I'd be taking your solicitor's advice on that one.

Has child support contacted you?

So the AVO is interesting - if the cops think it legit then they make the applicaiton. But if they don't think there are grounds then they don't and inform the complainant that they can make an application.... So in short, the cops don't think there are grounds (that is the way I read it anyways).... But don't do dumb stuff like getting into a text message war, for example

 

[finoallefine43]

I've not been contacted by child support no.

Re the school I have been in constant contact with the principal to keep her in the loop and try and do things by the book...but on Tuesday, yes she will not be able to hide the girls any longer from me.

And unless there is anything in writing which I don't think there will be then, I'll say to her I'll be collecting the girls from school today as there is nothing in writing to declare that I am not allowed to.

Not sure about the AVO - I would have thought that after almost a week they'd have served it by now...

I hope the text war days are over now...for me anyway

 

[sammy01]

If she tells ya that you can't pick up the kids then Don't. Here is my thinking...

1 - you're helping her cause. Her argument will be there is high conflict and she can't co-parent with you and you're the problem...

On top of that she tried 50/50 but it didn't work and rather than accepting that you got violent. So you rock up to the school it is in her interest to make a scene and have the police called...

2- You need your case to be that you've done all you can and you're a good parent but mum has made decisions without consultation and in order to protect the chidren from being involved in conflict you have accepted her decision until such time as you could get a magistrate to help your cause...

The reason I asked about child support is because there are lots of financial benefits to keeping your care % as low as possible...

Stay calm - follow solicitor's instructions

 

[finoallefine43]

I think i'm going to sit tight over the weekend and see what happens Monday...