NSW Family Law - Chances of Relocation Order and ICL Interview?

[abc]

My friend and his ex have been separated over 16 months. The ex took their 5-year-old son to a non Hague Convention country and is now came back to Australia after 11 months but she is interstate.

My friend filed an initiating application to the family court for taking custody of children and putting him into the Airport Watch-list and served the documents . As soon as she was served, she attempted for a control order but no order was made but there was an agreement for "undertaken without any admission".

The ex-wif living interstate with the son has no job, no relatives, no proper accommodations apart from housing or domestic violence shelter. The ex has enroled the child to school and that's probably the only thing that will make it difficult to get a relocation order. In addition to this, ex was referred to a psychiatrist. After two sessions, she became in denial and moved overseas. My friend suspects it's symptoms of a personality disorder but it has yet to be revealed by the specialist.

They are due for an ICL interview in two weeks time. On the first-mentioned date, it was agreed that the father will get supervised visit interstate. In the meantime, it is clear to the CCS supervisor that the mother has a tendency to lie and to be uncooperative with the father.

Questions:

1) What are the chances getting a relocation order under Family Law?

2) Any recommendation/preparation for an ICL interview?

 

[AllForHer]

Relocation, not high. The child was first moved nearly a year ago, so it's not like the child has just all of sudden been removed from his routine and the relationship he had with his father. Airport watch list, however, I would say there's a very high chance of getting that put in place.

ICL appointment, just be honest and don't b***h out the mother. Your friend has to prove that he recognises the benefit to the child of having both parents in his life, and he has to prove he's willing to work with the mother to parent the child. If the mother wants to b***h out your friend, so be it, but don't buy into that.

 

[abc]

Thank you so much AllForHer.

All your words make a real sense. AirportWatchlist was given right away on the mention date and supervised access to kid as well. Father already visiting his son and re- built some relationship. In the meantime, the mother was so un co-operative which frustrated her own lawyer, case officer as well as CCS people too. the father is expecting a good feedback in his favour

Current (probable) condition of the mother:

Child doesn’t have any immediate risk of physical harm and she is a caring mother to be honest. However, someone wants to be a good mother and her ability to be a good mother are two different things.

Some points father wants to address:

-Mother doesn’t have good communication skills to look after a kid’s welfare smoothly
- Doesn’t work
-Doesn’t drive
-No proper accommodation apart from housing or domestic shelter
-no relative , no friend , no community where kids can grow up, limited chance to socialize, child won't be allowed to take part into extra-curricular/sports activity (apart from the school events)
- Child starting school; mother’s lack of communication skills she won’t be able to build kid’s academic skill very well

Moreover, the mother was referred to a psychiatric and she was in denial. She had a symptoms of strong mood swings, extreme anger, dysfunctional relationship, etc . This may be not an immediate threat for the kid, but surely there is a long term impact on the child's health.

How much is the court going to consider those? While the child was overseas, the father sent several mails to the mother to come back-she never replied and didn’t co-operate. The father engaged international social service and she didn’t co-operate too. The father has the report in his favour.

The father wants 50/50 share of the kid which means relocation with mother is required. The father wants to bare the relocation expense for both mother and the kid. As mother living in some housing type accommodation, this can be easily arranged into the same state as the kid born.

 

[sammy01]

Hi, sorry to hear about your dramas. Look -no one of any forum like this is an expert and it is impossible for anyone here to give clear answers to hypotheticals. All the more when it comes to relocation cases. I reckon they are the least easy to predict. For that reason alone it is worth trying.

Now when you say she was referred to a psych, who referred her?

Next - The ex is clearly intent on obstructing the relationship with the dad and the kid. That has the potential to work in your favour as far as relocation...

One last thing.... Is he prepared to move to be closer to the kid?

As far as the ICL - I totally agree with what the other poster wrote. Focus on why he is a great dad. If asked about mum be cautious. Best answer is that while there is obviously some conflicts atm he believes the conflict will be resolved once court orders are made and after that he believes he can effectively co-parent with the ex in the best interest of the child.

 

[abc]

Thanks Sammy01 for the valuable suggestions.

Kids suffer a lot after the breakup, even if the parents are cooperating and living in the same city. In this case, this little young victim is so unfortunate that he is living with a mum who did every possible thing to keep him away from the father. And this kid has grown up in a housing with a mother who has a huge questionable attitude and dysfunctional thinking.

Yes, she was referred by the family GP.

The problem is that bipolar or personality disorders are not easy to diagnose unless you know him or her well. If she goes to a new GP with a smile, the doctor will have found her a happy, smiling woman, so it's sometimes difficult to prove.

Do you reckon a written affidavit is required or make things better during the ICL meeting? The father is thinking to write everything and give it to ICL. What happened and what went wrong and what the mother's allegations are and how the mother is lying, etc. All sort of possible evidence.

Do you reckon it's worth it?

 

[AllForHer]

Uh, no, that would be ignoring the part about not bitching out the mother.

The ICL doesn't care about why they broke up or about all the lies she's told. The ICL wants to know what's best for the child and how each parent intends on doing what's best for the child. Separate the emotions and the anger from the child's needs.

 

[abc]

Both parents had a family dispute and the dispute officer suspect some emotional issue with the mother and recommend for the son to be gradually handed over to the father.

Mother also cancelled the visitation by saying she is going to give the son back to the father. Just after 7 days of the court date, the mother changed the mind in the morning saying she wants the kid with her. Court asked for the psyciatric assessment of mother.

My question is does psychiatric always able to pick up the right symptom without knowing the previous background. One of the major symptoms is severe mood swing and she lie a lot. Kind of borderline personality disorder or some sort of bipolar thing. If a doctor can't pick up this thing son most likely will stay with the mother which will bring a maximum loss in his future development.

 

[sammy01]

Look, one of the most common criticisms of the family law courts is that it takes so bloody long. But sometimes I reckon it is deliberate. Why? well as time passes things happen that help the magistrate see the whole picture.

So she has agreed, to hand over kid then changed her mind. Given a psych report has already been ordered, I reckon the magistrate is starting to see this situation for what it is.

Now - yes borderline nutters can be very good at manipulating etc. I know, my ex is a cracker. But trained people will see it and look, she is already showing crazy. The other thing crazy will do is all or nothing, so the accusation of DV worked (for a while) but eventually the house of cards starts to crumble and her saying she'll hand over the kid is indicative of crazy.

In my case, my ex refused to let me see kids because I'm "dangerous'. It was all about control. Eventually, I got 4 nights, then 5. Now the kids live with me and the ex has moved onto the next crazy episode of her crazy life.

Oops, sorry got side tracked - my point was trained people will see crazy. So don't fret about the psych report.

 

[abc]

Thanks, Sammy01,

The mother living in a shelter and she is having a case officer to support her. It seems they are highly experienced of making false DV and mother's submitted a massive affidavit with full of false story. I want to believe the court is wise enough to pickup truth behind all the facts.

 

[Beverley Greening]

Whatever the father does, he must take care not to criticise the mother. He must focus on how he will parent the child e.g. reading to him, taking him places, helping him with his homework, contact with grandparents and other relatives.

With regards to the mother, he could point out that it will be hard for her having no family nearby to help but in my opinion, no more than that. The Courts just don't like it if you are critical of the other party. As Sammy says the Court just wants to know how you will do your part in raising the child well.