Hi there,
I will try to keep this as succinct and short as possible although it has been a long, stressful process!
My ex-partner & father to our now 5-year-old son separated and although we both agreed to try and agree out of family court, I began the mediation process through Family Relationship Centre. He decided to serve me with court orders for property & parenting based on his allegations that he wasn't seeing our son & due to the fact he had a Protection Order and thought I wouldn't allow him to see our son.
This was not the case as he had regular time with our son & all of this is documented in texts & then of course affidavits.
Anyway, we started the process for the property in the Federal Circuit Court and because the ex had gone bankrupt (but just finished his time), it was a bit of back & forth to the court. During this time, I discovered that the ex moved out of the family house (myself & children were renting another house in the next suburb) and moved into a house he purchased with his barrister who had been representing him.
After a title search to confirm, my solicitor sent them a letter requesting that she not represent him anymore de to a conflict of interest and unethical conduct. All of a sudden, we receive emails from him rather than her. But one week later, they provide another affidavit stating that they have been family friends for 36years, she wanted an investment property so she brought it and he lives in it for $250 a week. Saying to the court she has no financial gain - she put a deposit on the house they purchased for approx. $70 000 and he contributed nothing. Nothing eventuated and she still acted in his behalf.
It was now clear that they were actually in a relationship & although he denied it, she actually told me herself they were in a relationship in about September (but had been on since the start of the court proceedings). The parenting and property orders have now been finalised after much anguish and he pretty much got what he wanted although he is aggressive, abusive and extremely deceitful.
In regard to the property, I wanted to take over the mortgage and the Registrar at the court recommended a $10 000 difference that I would need to pay him. I agreed to this, but he refused stating he wanted $80 000 pay out. The house is now on the market!
I asked the barrister face to face why he didn't agree to the registrar's decision and she responded that he (my ex) had no other option to sell because I hadn't had a loan approval to take over the house. I couldn't believe it!!!! The week later I found the letter my solicitor had sent directly to her stating I had a loan approval and enclosed was the letter from the bank. This letter was emailed to her a month prior to us going to the conciliation conference. I know she received this letter as it was in this same letter that she was also asked not to represent him anymore.
Since the finalisation of the orders he has breached them on numerous occasions. However in November, although a text message sent from me asking the ex if he could swap weekends so that my son could attend a final year sporting function, he decided to change his mind on the Thurs at 2:05am sending me a text saying he didn't want to change the weekend. I reminded him of the texts we'd exchanged and the dates etc.
On the Fri afternoon, I was sent 4 messages from her and 3 from him stating - I was in breach of court orders, I should return my son immediately or there will be serious penalties and legal consequences for me, I need to seek legal advice urgently, the police have been notified. I then called her and she told me on the phone that I was breaching court orders. I explained to her the real situation and the whole time she defended him saying he'd done the right thing, that I really needed to have dates and times in written format (although this is not stated on the orders) - later then saying a text is fine because he had texted about something so that was now ok.
Ironically, I did have the dates and tried re-iterating this to her. She pretty much said that I really didn't go about it the right way however I know I did not do anything to breach the orders. The police did arrive at the house for a welfare check and after explaining what had happened, having my phone ready to show them the text messages but they didn't need to see them. They were very apologetic and said she should know better being a barrister.
After this incident, he texts me informing that the next night which is his night with our son that he is working (although he has told CS he doesn't work at all), that he can't have our son and that I would have to have him. I had an awards night on at work & explained this to him. His response was "Simple. I won't be there to collect him from daycare". In this same text he also said I'll be picking up our son at 8:30am on Fri 9th.
The orders state 3pm pick up and as I got to spend some time with my son as I'm on holidays I just really really wanted to spend as much time as I can. I reminded him that the court orders state 3pm and I'd like to stick with that. Of course he got angry and sent texts!! On the Friday morning, the barrister texts me saying I am not there for changeover and that as a matter of urgency I need to contact the father. She also explained that the later they leave the more dangerous!! I had asked prior to this if they were going on a holiday and he said no, after my son telling me where they were going, his father telling me somewhere totally different.
The issue with this is that he has a history of taking my son places and will not inform me of where they are and very difficult to contact - has not let me talk to my son at my phone time, etc. So these final orders state that he is to provide travel location 28 days prior to travel in and out of Australia. This did not happen.
So, my ex collected my son at 3pm on Fri 9th (til next Fri 16th) What I knew at this stage through the father is that they were going to Sydney to visit his mum. On Saturday afternoon I texted him asking if they had arrived in Sydney safely. No response. I then texted the barrister an hour later saying that I hadn't heard anything, but just wondering if they had arrived safely. She did not respond. Between 6-6:30 is my phone contact time, so I called at 6:15 and no answer.
I sent a text asking if he could get my son to call me back please. Nothing. I rung the mother in Sydney and asked if I could please speak to my son, she said no and said that because I did not allow the father to pick up the child at 8:30am I could not speak to my son. I texted them all just asking for clarification that he is safe. No response.
I called the local police station in Sydney. They went around to do a welfare check and the mother said they were on an island and safe. He decides to text me today saying he changed his mind on the location (as he always does). They're on one of the Whitsunday Islands and then driving from there to Newcastle tomorrow for the rest of the week.
This was so distressing and I guess not to anticipate the worst, but am concerned that this is pretty much how things will be - they will contravene court orders as she knows I have to go back to court and thinks I won't bother, however if they think I may have done something wrong I receive a barrage of texts that are seemingly intimidating.
A couple of things I'm wondering:-
I keep everything for evidence after being dragged through this I learnt that one very quickly, is it worth going to court about this sort of thing?
What would I need to do if I did? (as I no longer have a solicitor as I cannot afford it)
Am I right in thinking this is a bit of a conflict of interest and not only personally, but professionally too?
I apologise for the long letter/question, but it is something that I need some information on as I feel sometimes I'm fighting a battle with not just him, but her!
Thanks in advance
I will try to keep this as succinct and short as possible although it has been a long, stressful process!
My ex-partner & father to our now 5-year-old son separated and although we both agreed to try and agree out of family court, I began the mediation process through Family Relationship Centre. He decided to serve me with court orders for property & parenting based on his allegations that he wasn't seeing our son & due to the fact he had a Protection Order and thought I wouldn't allow him to see our son.
This was not the case as he had regular time with our son & all of this is documented in texts & then of course affidavits.
Anyway, we started the process for the property in the Federal Circuit Court and because the ex had gone bankrupt (but just finished his time), it was a bit of back & forth to the court. During this time, I discovered that the ex moved out of the family house (myself & children were renting another house in the next suburb) and moved into a house he purchased with his barrister who had been representing him.
After a title search to confirm, my solicitor sent them a letter requesting that she not represent him anymore de to a conflict of interest and unethical conduct. All of a sudden, we receive emails from him rather than her. But one week later, they provide another affidavit stating that they have been family friends for 36years, she wanted an investment property so she brought it and he lives in it for $250 a week. Saying to the court she has no financial gain - she put a deposit on the house they purchased for approx. $70 000 and he contributed nothing. Nothing eventuated and she still acted in his behalf.
It was now clear that they were actually in a relationship & although he denied it, she actually told me herself they were in a relationship in about September (but had been on since the start of the court proceedings). The parenting and property orders have now been finalised after much anguish and he pretty much got what he wanted although he is aggressive, abusive and extremely deceitful.
In regard to the property, I wanted to take over the mortgage and the Registrar at the court recommended a $10 000 difference that I would need to pay him. I agreed to this, but he refused stating he wanted $80 000 pay out. The house is now on the market!
I asked the barrister face to face why he didn't agree to the registrar's decision and she responded that he (my ex) had no other option to sell because I hadn't had a loan approval to take over the house. I couldn't believe it!!!! The week later I found the letter my solicitor had sent directly to her stating I had a loan approval and enclosed was the letter from the bank. This letter was emailed to her a month prior to us going to the conciliation conference. I know she received this letter as it was in this same letter that she was also asked not to represent him anymore.
Since the finalisation of the orders he has breached them on numerous occasions. However in November, although a text message sent from me asking the ex if he could swap weekends so that my son could attend a final year sporting function, he decided to change his mind on the Thurs at 2:05am sending me a text saying he didn't want to change the weekend. I reminded him of the texts we'd exchanged and the dates etc.
On the Fri afternoon, I was sent 4 messages from her and 3 from him stating - I was in breach of court orders, I should return my son immediately or there will be serious penalties and legal consequences for me, I need to seek legal advice urgently, the police have been notified. I then called her and she told me on the phone that I was breaching court orders. I explained to her the real situation and the whole time she defended him saying he'd done the right thing, that I really needed to have dates and times in written format (although this is not stated on the orders) - later then saying a text is fine because he had texted about something so that was now ok.
Ironically, I did have the dates and tried re-iterating this to her. She pretty much said that I really didn't go about it the right way however I know I did not do anything to breach the orders. The police did arrive at the house for a welfare check and after explaining what had happened, having my phone ready to show them the text messages but they didn't need to see them. They were very apologetic and said she should know better being a barrister.
After this incident, he texts me informing that the next night which is his night with our son that he is working (although he has told CS he doesn't work at all), that he can't have our son and that I would have to have him. I had an awards night on at work & explained this to him. His response was "Simple. I won't be there to collect him from daycare". In this same text he also said I'll be picking up our son at 8:30am on Fri 9th.
The orders state 3pm pick up and as I got to spend some time with my son as I'm on holidays I just really really wanted to spend as much time as I can. I reminded him that the court orders state 3pm and I'd like to stick with that. Of course he got angry and sent texts!! On the Friday morning, the barrister texts me saying I am not there for changeover and that as a matter of urgency I need to contact the father. She also explained that the later they leave the more dangerous!! I had asked prior to this if they were going on a holiday and he said no, after my son telling me where they were going, his father telling me somewhere totally different.
The issue with this is that he has a history of taking my son places and will not inform me of where they are and very difficult to contact - has not let me talk to my son at my phone time, etc. So these final orders state that he is to provide travel location 28 days prior to travel in and out of Australia. This did not happen.
So, my ex collected my son at 3pm on Fri 9th (til next Fri 16th) What I knew at this stage through the father is that they were going to Sydney to visit his mum. On Saturday afternoon I texted him asking if they had arrived in Sydney safely. No response. I then texted the barrister an hour later saying that I hadn't heard anything, but just wondering if they had arrived safely. She did not respond. Between 6-6:30 is my phone contact time, so I called at 6:15 and no answer.
I sent a text asking if he could get my son to call me back please. Nothing. I rung the mother in Sydney and asked if I could please speak to my son, she said no and said that because I did not allow the father to pick up the child at 8:30am I could not speak to my son. I texted them all just asking for clarification that he is safe. No response.
I called the local police station in Sydney. They went around to do a welfare check and the mother said they were on an island and safe. He decides to text me today saying he changed his mind on the location (as he always does). They're on one of the Whitsunday Islands and then driving from there to Newcastle tomorrow for the rest of the week.
This was so distressing and I guess not to anticipate the worst, but am concerned that this is pretty much how things will be - they will contravene court orders as she knows I have to go back to court and thinks I won't bother, however if they think I may have done something wrong I receive a barrage of texts that are seemingly intimidating.
A couple of things I'm wondering:-
I keep everything for evidence after being dragged through this I learnt that one very quickly, is it worth going to court about this sort of thing?
What would I need to do if I did? (as I no longer have a solicitor as I cannot afford it)
Am I right in thinking this is a bit of a conflict of interest and not only personally, but professionally too?
I apologise for the long letter/question, but it is something that I need some information on as I feel sometimes I'm fighting a battle with not just him, but her!
Thanks in advance
