Tried to initiate mediation, he has made no effort to participate, been offered a 601 certificate..
The story:
Together for 27yrs, and separated 18 months. We had a mostly amicable relationship since separating, irregular visits 2 nights per fortnight depending on his father's life events, new partners/hunting trips/man flu etc. Receiving child support. No property settlement. I am limited to 24hrs per week employment due to being full time carer on Centrelink benefits.
Our son 14yrs old has profound disability and attends a SSP School, uses a wheelchair & requiring total care, feeding, dressing & also nonverbal, absolutely loves his father & enjoys his visits with him. I attempted mediation to hopefully create some consistency & keep it about our son. He’s made no effort towards meditation not even replying to invitation to participate.
Our son has gone from having him in his life daily to infrequent weekends & now he has made the “decision” not to have our son in his life at all, stating reason being he can’t deal with me. Granted I am my sons advocate & so need to have a level of communication with his father regarding his care & will address issues as required. He has tried all excuses regarding his care being to difficult - solutions were given. He struggles with, as do I, (not implying I know how he feels exactly but I have an idea) with our sons disability.
I’ve urged him to seek therapy either with me or by himself since before our separation & have been willing to support him 100%. I’ve resigned with this as you can’t help someone who doesn’t want it. His responsibilities & priorities have always been off he has always put himself before any of our children (also have 21,19 & 17yr old girls). His favourite line is “I have a life to live”.. umm ok.. I feel he is trying to control my free weekends calling me over for assistance every time he has our son when he is more than competent to do what’s needed but I have been compliant & compromising.
So it has been ok until I spoke about being less involved with him when he has our son & that I’d like to go to mediation also he’s heard I started dating.. one date in 18mths v his numerous partners. Now is it because I’m (trying to) moving forward he all of a sudden “can’t deal with me” & doesn’t want to have our son anymore? I don’t contact him unless it directly involves our son, when he’s is with him or to prepare for visits/handovers.
I have no interest in his personal life & do not need him to take our son to “give me a break” as he so often states. I would be perfectly fine if I never had contact with him again but would never deny him contact with our son.
So do I fight for my son's rights? Does he even have any in this situation? Do I let it go?
The story:
Together for 27yrs, and separated 18 months. We had a mostly amicable relationship since separating, irregular visits 2 nights per fortnight depending on his father's life events, new partners/hunting trips/man flu etc. Receiving child support. No property settlement. I am limited to 24hrs per week employment due to being full time carer on Centrelink benefits.
Our son 14yrs old has profound disability and attends a SSP School, uses a wheelchair & requiring total care, feeding, dressing & also nonverbal, absolutely loves his father & enjoys his visits with him. I attempted mediation to hopefully create some consistency & keep it about our son. He’s made no effort towards meditation not even replying to invitation to participate.
Our son has gone from having him in his life daily to infrequent weekends & now he has made the “decision” not to have our son in his life at all, stating reason being he can’t deal with me. Granted I am my sons advocate & so need to have a level of communication with his father regarding his care & will address issues as required. He has tried all excuses regarding his care being to difficult - solutions were given. He struggles with, as do I, (not implying I know how he feels exactly but I have an idea) with our sons disability.
I’ve urged him to seek therapy either with me or by himself since before our separation & have been willing to support him 100%. I’ve resigned with this as you can’t help someone who doesn’t want it. His responsibilities & priorities have always been off he has always put himself before any of our children (also have 21,19 & 17yr old girls). His favourite line is “I have a life to live”.. umm ok.. I feel he is trying to control my free weekends calling me over for assistance every time he has our son when he is more than competent to do what’s needed but I have been compliant & compromising.
So it has been ok until I spoke about being less involved with him when he has our son & that I’d like to go to mediation also he’s heard I started dating.. one date in 18mths v his numerous partners. Now is it because I’m (trying to) moving forward he all of a sudden “can’t deal with me” & doesn’t want to have our son anymore? I don’t contact him unless it directly involves our son, when he’s is with him or to prepare for visits/handovers.
I have no interest in his personal life & do not need him to take our son to “give me a break” as he so often states. I would be perfectly fine if I never had contact with him again but would never deny him contact with our son.
So do I fight for my son's rights? Does he even have any in this situation? Do I let it go?
