Hi, guys.
Here's a basic rundown of what's going on:
1. Ex left 5 years ago to be with the guy she was having an affair with.
2. Initially she did not want the kids and then decided on a 3/7 shared custody basis, and, once she discovered she would need to pay child support to me (she earns more than I do), she settled on 50/50 with me (uses special occasions to demand changes occasionally)... In the second year of this she threatened to take them away from me, however stopped once she received an email from my lawyer... This has been ongoing for 4.5 years... Although, in September last year, after a serious argument with my son (14) which resulted in me hitting him on the arm (he is larger than me and had taken to punching the wall next to my head and shaping up to me), she convinced him to then stay with her full time, and changed our agreement to ever second weekend with him (which he has never come home for), and my daughter (10) is still 50/50... She owes $7000 on in child support but has recently changed to a part time job, so I am now meant to be paying her, however she has told child support that we have a private arrangement, which we do not, but child support will not use the amount she press against what I am meant to be paying, or chase her for it, due to what she told them, and not believing me...
She also does things like keeping my daughter's school uniforms (due to, for some reason, free dress days always occurring when she comes back from there, and her mother telling me she had no extra uniforms there, so I have to buy new ones - not cheap)...
3. She has recently started demanding items from my home (we rented and I still rent), which I have been holding onto for when settlement occurs... My lawyer told me to tell her we need to go to mediation to settle everything, which she has ignored, and had has ignored the past two times I have told her this... She also refuses a divorce until settlement is finalised... She wants to go to court for all of it but neither of us can afford that at present (my lawyer has told me to expect to pay at least $20k to $50k each to fight it out, if that's her plan)...
There are numerous other problems, including her, although not probable, as the police were called and stated that there was not enough evidence, but they suspected her off having done it and recommending a dvo (which I did not go through with in order to keep the changeover of the children eat), when she filed my car (the children's seats specifically) with rotting fish guts, fish heads, and bait (this occurred just after she wss shut down by my lawyer the time she tried to take the children (and myself and the police believe she was attempting to scare the children into not coming back to my place)... There is also the problem of my son possibly being sexually assaulted a while back, due to some signs of it having happened, which she refused to allow me to take him to a forensic psychologist for, in order to try to find out what happened, and she insisted on taking him to a counsellor who, as they explained to me, was not allowed to ask quotations, Jay play games with him to see if he opened up about anything (12 sessions of if nothing)... And her family having a history of child sexual assault (including herself), which her family has always covered up themselves (for example when her uncle repeatedly sexually assaulted her, her family decided that the best thing to do was to not to talk to him for a few years)... However, my lawyer also told me that, without proof, I can't take them away from her family...
On top of all that, she racked up $30k of credit card debt while we were together (which I didn't even have an inkling of until I moved and found cards hidden in the bookshelves), which she spent in clothes and shoes for herself, which she claims I owe her half of... She changed the family car back (she had bought one for herself, when she left), which I agreed to, and she sold the day I hagave it to her (I didn't see any money from that), and she claims was all hers, even though I paid the deposit on it, and the payments were made from our joint account)...
Anyway, I seem to have unleashed a lot of information on you, and there is plenty more besides, however my main question is, how long can she keep ignoring requests for mediation, and can I go to court to have a divorce put through without her agreement?
Here's a basic rundown of what's going on:
1. Ex left 5 years ago to be with the guy she was having an affair with.
2. Initially she did not want the kids and then decided on a 3/7 shared custody basis, and, once she discovered she would need to pay child support to me (she earns more than I do), she settled on 50/50 with me (uses special occasions to demand changes occasionally)... In the second year of this she threatened to take them away from me, however stopped once she received an email from my lawyer... This has been ongoing for 4.5 years... Although, in September last year, after a serious argument with my son (14) which resulted in me hitting him on the arm (he is larger than me and had taken to punching the wall next to my head and shaping up to me), she convinced him to then stay with her full time, and changed our agreement to ever second weekend with him (which he has never come home for), and my daughter (10) is still 50/50... She owes $7000 on in child support but has recently changed to a part time job, so I am now meant to be paying her, however she has told child support that we have a private arrangement, which we do not, but child support will not use the amount she press against what I am meant to be paying, or chase her for it, due to what she told them, and not believing me...
She also does things like keeping my daughter's school uniforms (due to, for some reason, free dress days always occurring when she comes back from there, and her mother telling me she had no extra uniforms there, so I have to buy new ones - not cheap)...
3. She has recently started demanding items from my home (we rented and I still rent), which I have been holding onto for when settlement occurs... My lawyer told me to tell her we need to go to mediation to settle everything, which she has ignored, and had has ignored the past two times I have told her this... She also refuses a divorce until settlement is finalised... She wants to go to court for all of it but neither of us can afford that at present (my lawyer has told me to expect to pay at least $20k to $50k each to fight it out, if that's her plan)...
There are numerous other problems, including her, although not probable, as the police were called and stated that there was not enough evidence, but they suspected her off having done it and recommending a dvo (which I did not go through with in order to keep the changeover of the children eat), when she filed my car (the children's seats specifically) with rotting fish guts, fish heads, and bait (this occurred just after she wss shut down by my lawyer the time she tried to take the children (and myself and the police believe she was attempting to scare the children into not coming back to my place)... There is also the problem of my son possibly being sexually assaulted a while back, due to some signs of it having happened, which she refused to allow me to take him to a forensic psychologist for, in order to try to find out what happened, and she insisted on taking him to a counsellor who, as they explained to me, was not allowed to ask quotations, Jay play games with him to see if he opened up about anything (12 sessions of if nothing)... And her family having a history of child sexual assault (including herself), which her family has always covered up themselves (for example when her uncle repeatedly sexually assaulted her, her family decided that the best thing to do was to not to talk to him for a few years)... However, my lawyer also told me that, without proof, I can't take them away from her family...
On top of all that, she racked up $30k of credit card debt while we were together (which I didn't even have an inkling of until I moved and found cards hidden in the bookshelves), which she spent in clothes and shoes for herself, which she claims I owe her half of... She changed the family car back (she had bought one for herself, when she left), which I agreed to, and she sold the day I hagave it to her (I didn't see any money from that), and she claims was all hers, even though I paid the deposit on it, and the payments were made from our joint account)...
Anyway, I seem to have unleashed a lot of information on you, and there is plenty more besides, however my main question is, how long can she keep ignoring requests for mediation, and can I go to court to have a divorce put through without her agreement?
