VIC Ex-partner Changing Care and Custody of Children Arrangements

[Support Needed]

My previous significant other and I developed a parenting plan together with RA. He has not stuck to the plan. He has also changed transition days without consultation. We had 50:50 care and custody of children, however, he now only lets me see my sons three days a fortnight.

My sons are 16 and 13. I have asked to go to mediation, however, he refuses to attend stating this is what my son wants. He also shares our communication with both children. So far I have not used a lawyer but this situation has made me feel highly stressed and unwell. Am I being treated unfairly? What opinions would you give me?

I have had no say in any changes

 

[Tremaine]

Since it’s a parenting plan and not sealed orders, there’s no avenue for enforcing what you’ve agreed to, but it may be taken into consideration if you were to take the matter to court. The other thing that would likely be given a lot of consideration is the views of each child. Lots of cases involving older kids (usually around 13+) end up with orders to the effect of the kids spending time with each parent in accordance with the kids’ wishes, so I’m not sure Court is really the best option (plus there’s a good chance they oldest will be 18 before proceedings are finalised).

What’s the situation with the kids? Do they have mobile phones and do they communicate with you directly? Have they expressed to you that they would like to spend more time with you?

 

[Support Needed]

Since it’s a parenting plan and not sealed orders, there’s no avenue for enforcing what you’ve agreed to, but it may be taken into consideration if you were to take the matter to court. The other thing that would likely be given a lot of consideration is the views of each child. Lots of cases involving older kids (usually around 13+) end up with orders to the effect of the kids spending time with each parent in accordance with the kids’ wishes, so I’m not sure Court is really the best option (plus there’s a good chance they oldest will be 18 before proceedings are finalised).

What’s the situation with the kids? Do they have mobile phones and do they communicate with you directly? Have they expressed to you that they would like to spend more time with you?

Since it’s a parenting plan and not sealed orders, there’s no avenue for enforcing what you’ve agreed to, but it may be taken into consideration if you were to take the matter to court. The other thing that would likely be given a lot of consideration is the views of each child. Lots of cases involving older kids (usually around 13+) end up with orders to the effect of the kids spending time with each parent in accordance with the kids’ wishes, so I’m not sure Court is really the best option (plus there’s a good chance they oldest will be 18 before proceedings are finalised).

What’s the situation with the kids? Do they have mobile phones and do they communicate with you directly? Have they expressed to you that they would like to spend more time with you?

Hi - yes both have mobile phones but the youngest one is monitored by their father.

Their father is also sharing messages between each parent therefore increasing conflict.

We had been sharing 50:50 for two years previously. Would this be taken into consideration?

 

[sammy01]

How much money do you earn a year? The reason I'm asking is if you're low income then consider contacting legal aid.

Have the kids expressed any opinion to you about what is going on? Look if the kids have a genuine desire to have one permenent home and one part time home you might have to accept it. Normally, I don't encourage parents to talk to the kids.... BUT - in this case? might be a good idea. If the kids are happy with the set up, them maybe you're best to accept it. If the kids were younger my advice would be different.

 

[Support Needed]

Thanks Sammy - How would you respond if the youngest was younger than 13?