WA Ex has Medical Condition - Get More Time with Child?

[NathanT]

I was wondering if anyone has come across this and how was it handled:

I am about a month out from the pre-trial hearing and maybe another month or two out from trial (if lucky).

However, it has come to my attention (and not being informed by my ex) that she has had a serious surgery and possibly related to cancer. This would be her second surgery in the last 5 years. She has not provided me with information on her health and medical status. I am concern that she is not able to properly care for our child in the recovery period which coincides with the waiting until trial.

In such a situation, am I able to use family law authorities to have full care of our child until trial? I currently have 3 nights a week. If so, which authorities would that be?

P/s. Discussed with ex and she said she would rather use child's school friend's parents, etc to assist with transportation to school and back than to agree with child staying with me.

It isn't only about the going to school, there is the meals, homework support and quality time.

Child is under 10 years old.

 

[sammy01]

So you have 3 nights a week? 6 a fortnight... Right... why are you going to trial?

To answer your question... Nope... No authorities will intervene. Not unless there are real and immediate concerns for the child. Bad form on Mum's part to prefer the kid spend time with friends than with you. But nothing you can do.... Good form on your part to offer your help.

I had orders that said mum had to ask me if she could not supervise kids. She didn't. She would lie and say it was a play date while she went to work... Lesson? Some battles you can't win. So don't bother having them...

 

[AllForHer]

I'm wondering why you're going to trial as well. Please tell me it's not a fight about one night a fortnight.

 

[NathanT]

We are going to trial because my Ex did not want to agree to anything at mediation even with the ICL advising what she consider was best for our child. My Ex wants to have full custody with our child. This latest issue is just one of the many that I have to deal with over the last 6 years. My child often hears mother say how much she hates me and that I am the worst father in the world, pathetic, abusive, etc. So it isn’t a surprise that we didn’t come to any agreement at mediation.

 

[AllForHer]

Have you talked to her lawyer about making interim orders into consent orders?

Look, my experience is that in family law, the percentage of parents who reach agreement at mediation is minuscule. However, the percentage of parents who reach agreement when a very expensive trial with no certain outcomes is just around the the corner is a lot higher.

It seems crazy not to try and negotiate final orders for three nights a weeks. Even if it's via email with her lawyer and not at mediation, you may as well try.

 

[sammy01]

OK - still a bit lost... Mum agrees to you having 3 nights a week? How long has that been going on? So she agrees to 3 a week, but won't agree to put it in writing as consent orders?

 

[NathanT]

3 nights a week started after interim orders were put in place at beginning of this year. It use to depend on her mood and whether she’s going out to a concert or not. I’ve had to spend a lot of money to get to where I am with access to my child. Furthermore, I believe my child is better off living with me when it comes down to what’s best for the child.

Ex has worked hard to destroy my relationship with our child. Up until the beginning of this year when I started having more time with my child, my child was not close to me. I believe my child has the right to have a decent father and child relationship instead of growing up under the belief that I am a monster because Ex keeps crapping about that in child’s ear day in day out.... it wasn’t long ago that child started sharing with me what Ex has been saying about me.

 

[SamanthaJay]

Nathan, for now, just let your ex know that if she ever needs any additional support with your child whilst she's having treatment, to let you know. Don't get involved with her nastiness over it.

 

[NathanT]

ok - still a bit lost... Mum agrees to you having 3 nights a week? How long has that been going on? So she agrees to 3 a week, but wont agree to put it in writing as consent orders?

Ex didn’t agree to anything. Court decision in interim to allow me 3 nights a week. Ex didn’t even agree to child with me for long weekends even when child pleaded with her. As far as I am aware, the only reason Ex has fo stop me from having a relationship with my child is to punish me because after years of separation,I have moved on with my life and she hasn’t.

 

[sammy01]

Mate just keep going. As far as I can see you're case is an example of the system getting it right. But pick your battles, if the ex would rather drop the kid of with a friend than with you, that is her choice... Like I said, even if you get final orders that say mum has to offer you additional time first... But if she doesn't do it what then? it isn't worth taking back to court.

To save you some $$$ have you offered to accept 3 a week as final consent orders? Mate that is not a bad deal and unless the family report writer states that you should be the primary carer, I reckon you ought to seek 3 a week as final orders to save the grief / $$ of court... But I also understand why you would continue