QLD Domestic Violence Order - Is Ex in Breach of Parenting Order?

[Jessy]

Hi,

Currently in place is a Federal Circuit Court Parenting Order (as I the Respondant) have been taken to FamilyCourt over a number of allegations with my ex-girlfriend & I have since responded to these allegations (Court date in May).

We both (with my parents as they currently have to be there as per Judge's decision till he gets my side of the story so they have involvement with my son on weekend visits) have been to a Mediation person for a Family Report which has been completed & he will send the report to the Judge.

Since then, she has put another Domestic Violence Order against me (with false allegations) & I have been to the Police which they have placed a Notice of Adjourned on me for a hearing in May.

My question for this is: Is there anything I can do with Police as her allegations are lies?

My other question is:

Currently, either me, my Mum or my Dad pick up my son on Friday afternoons till Sunday (Parents supervising at all times). Last week her lawyer sent me an email saying because she has put in a Police report about me that my only rights to see my son are in an enclosed room with another person there.

I emailed back saying no I don't agree & that my mother & I would be there on Friday as per court order to pick him up but my ex & my son are not there, nor at Child care or at her home. Is she in breach of the order? Or can they do this?

There is no court order for this, just an email from her lawyer with a proposal.

My other question is, do I go there on Friday for pick up with my mother, or will she once again not be there due to lawyer's proposal? Is she breaching again? Or do I agree with their proposal, to which I strongly disagree with and if we don't turn up to pick my son up, are we breaching?

Thank you for your time,

 

[AllForHer]

I am confused. Are there parenting orders in place or not?

 

[sammy01]

Go to pick up the child. If they are not there, then you can document that. By attending to pick up the child, you're showing that you intend to be seeing the child and do not agree with what the mum has done.

Do you have interim court orders about the kid? Or just an agreement between you and the solicitor?

Look you need to be smarter. If mum's solicitor says you must not be alone with the child, just agree. Then when you go back to court you can show that you're doing whatever it takes and the ex is being un-reasonable. You look good, she looks bad...

Now as far as the DVO. What happened to the first one?

 

[Jessy]

Hi,
1st Question - Yes there is an Interim Court Order in place regarding the child with the Fereral Circuit Courts.
2nd Question - There is only 1 DVO but there has been 4 contraventions to date. After the 3rd contravention the Courts ordered a 12 mth probation period with conditions to which I wilfully participated in.
In each incident she has lured me back with family photos, saying she loves me, she misses me & that things will change only to find out she uses this against me with the authorities.
I did love her & all I ever wanted was to have a family just like my parents did with raising myself & my brothers. Although everybody advises me not to go back, I know I shouldn't but with emotional reasons I go back & regret it. And only to find she hasn't changed.
I appreciate your previous advice to date to this point & your ongoing support would be greatful.
Thank you

 

[sammy01]

I'd do whatever she requests around the child and then wait till you get back to court for the magistrate to deal with her. She should be following the orders and just like how you have gotten in trouble for breaching the DVO, she will face the consequences of her actions.

Do not be stupid. Sorry to be blunt, but this twit is playing with you. At present, she has lots of power but it is dwindling away. Be smart about how you deal with her. If she says you can only see the kid on Tuesday. Accept. If she says you can't be alone with the kid, accept. Then go to the court and explain. So make sure everything is in writing and if anything is unclear ask for clarification

 

[AllForHer]

First, learn your lesson. Your ex is a snake. Time to move on.

Second, parenting orders override state-based DVOs. If she withholds the child, she's in contravention of the interim order. Send a polite email to her solicitor clarifying that you are disagreeable to any departure from the current interim order and as such, respectfully urge their client to comply with the interim orders or potentially face further proceedings.

If she continues to withhold, then document, document, document and produce your evidence to the judge.

Keep all contact about the child and only about the child. Saying "I want to reconcile for the child's sake" is not about the child.

 

[Jessy]

Thank you, you have all been so helpful.

My ex is still currently refusing to comply with the current order and let my son see me. It has now been 24 days since I have seen my son and I am an emotional wreck. I am in emotional pain and anguish, breaking down in tears when I think of him, feeling depressed. This has led me to irrational thinking and taking desperate measures.

I have breached my current DVO where grabbing her to defend myself after an argument has led to physical assault to where I have to face court again. however, the new temporary variation to a protection order, doesn't let me near her except if there is a court order in place, my parenting order current require my parents to be with me while my son is in my care, as I was reported as a risk, our court hearing is in 4 weeks time.

The most recent occasion, I was lost and confused and deeply depressed and briefly went over to her place again to see my son, who I never got to see. On leaving I tried to commit suicide by crashing my car into a light post and was taken to hospital where I was involuntarily admitted to a mental ward after assessment. I have been cleared by the Doctors.

She still refuses to comply with the order, taking it upon herself not to facilitate a changeover for my son to see me, his grandparents and extended family, saying her reason is due to the recent DVO breaches where she is concerned with the safety and well-being regarding the child.

My question is does she have a reasonable excuse for breaching the order in the eyes of the law, where I could have to pay all court cost, etc. or is she still breaching the Order and do I submit an Application of Contravention to the courts?

Thank you for your time and would appreciate some sound help

 

[sammy01]

Mate, look please look after yourself and say nothing. If she hears about the suicide attempt, that won't help your cause. You have breached the AVO. Please read back over my previous post - in particular, the bit that reads like this 'don't be stupid'. You have not taken that suggestion.

Ok lesson learned. Now please don't be stupid again.

Confused and depressed are not great defences. Now again - look after yourself. Get as much help as you can, but don't do anything to make her case easier.

To answer your question. Yep, she might have reasonable grounds to withhold why? Because she can claim that she is scared of you. Why can she claim she scared of you? Because you keep giving her good evidence by breaching the AVO. Guess what - you breach AVO you can go to jail.

She breaches court orders what happens to her? Jail? Nope. Now I'm gonna assume she isn't even scared of you, not even a bit. But She is playing the system heaps better than you. Mate, the relationship is over. Accept that and don't let her play you for a fool.

So someone else wrote "your ex is a snake" They are right. Please, please, please understand this. If you are not smarter than the snake then you're looking at a future where you don't see your kid much.

Just so you know, I was in your situation. Didn't see my kids for 3 months. I had an AVO against me too. But I played smart. Guess what - my kids live with me 80% of the time and rarely see their mum. Look, I'm not gonna lie to you, I made a few mistakes along the way, too, but once I started understanding the game, it got easier.

The game goes like this - you wanna spend as much time with your kid as possible now and in the future. Simple. So start doing smart things that will contribute to that happening. Do nothing that could jeopardise your time with your kid and realise the relationship is over. So agreeing to go to her house ain't gonna help. All it is gonna do is help her keep your kid away from you.

 

[teflongirl]

Go see a counsellor. It's the best investment you will make and will look good everywhere it counts in all courts. Your son will thank you for the investment you make your own well being too. Lead by example.