QLD DENYING FATHER ADDRESS; can he withhold our child for my visitation?

[MotherJ]

Hi. I have a 12 year old daughter with my ex.
Recently I consented without admission to a DVO (for derogatory texts) that he went to the police for, himself and his new partner were placed on the order and I’m not to be within 100m apart from custody agreement pick up and drop off.
Since this was placed on me, he’s decided the new partner will be coming to pick up (he has never done this before), deliberately attempting to provoke me.
As he sees himself as “protected”, he has told our 12 year old daughter about the DVO (INAPPROPRIATE!) and also told her if I “be naughty” and hurt him or his new partner I’m going to jail, she’s heard him tell his partner that he will get me evicted from my new home as he believes I have a partner too and during a rental crisis it will be easy for him to get sole custody of I’m rendered homeless. He also said he will contact the landlord but my daughter was unable to make out the rest of the conversation after this.

Because of this I’ve now withheld my new address from him and I want to do pick up/drop off at a shopping centre like we have been for a long time now. There is CCTV there which provides him safety and me reassurance nothing will happen at my new address.

I’ve let him know this and he told our daughter if I do not give him my address by Wednesday he will withhold her from me until it is given. Can he do this?

The custody agreement says I must give it to him but in light of this information I simply cannot risk what he may do as he is very much “protected” by the DVO.

Also, the agreement says the transition for visitation will be facilitated by the other parent or someone known to the child and myself; he said his new partner will be doing the transfer, I don’t know her, can I refuse unless it is him? He has done the transition for years by himself, he is only using her to create drama and be difficult. Our daughter is very upset as she now knows things she shouldn’t.

Please help.

 

[newtothis01]

You aren’t going to love this reply but I think you need to hear it.
Sounds like you have issues with the new partner. Your child is 12. There is no reason for you to have any contact with the partner or father at drop offs. A 12 year old child can responsibly get their things and walk out of the car to you. The driver doesn’t need to get out.
Why make a big issue about the partner doing drop offs? Does your child like the partner? Just hold your head high and focus on what is best for your child. Focusing on being angry about the partner makes you look bitter and jealous. Don’t give them that.

If they are trying to get you to breach the DVO then give them nothing. With a 12 year old and set visitation schedules there should really be very minimal communication anyway. Make sure all communication is polite and in writing. No contact otherwise. Who cares if the partner is in the car??

 

[sammy01]

"he is only using her to create drama and be difficult. "

You wrote it. I'm quoting it... Ok, so he is making dramas. I believe you.... Should you make dramas? nope..... Give him the address. New partner doing drop off's - Oh ok... Clearly the intention here is to piss you off.... Don't get pissed off.... Now go do some yoga follow it up with some meditation then read some buddist philosophy. If that doesn't work listen to Kenny Rogers THE GAMBLER - You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, know when to run....
Trust me, I'm going somewhere here. It is about strategy. You play the game badly and he will use the avo to stop you seeing the child. His case is easy, he has an avo on you.... You're refusing to give him the address. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. Very easy case to make. So play smarter... Give him the address, smile at the new girlfriend and tell her you like the dress she is wearing. Smile some more... Say please and thank-you... WHY? because to do anything else will cause you to have him keep the kid from you.