denied access of child

[canplaythegame]

Hi, a few weeks ago my ex had gotten information from my eldest daughter that i was suffering from depression, ( i had not been hiding this)
My ex decided to not give me access to my other daughter until she knew it was safe.

I have seen a lawyer first consultation.
They say to allow them to right a letter ($500) to her stating that she is breaching these certain parts of the law.
They say she will then take it to her lawyer and her lawyer should be smart enough to say stop

Is she completely in the wrong.?

I have got a certificate from my doctor stating im ok, im trying to do what i can to stay out of court and to save us money but she seems to think she has every right to deny me access

Thanks

Daniel

 

[Rosscoe]

I believe a few things will be pertinent to understand the situation better. Such as what have been the historical care arrangements of the children? Are there any orders currently in place and do they state anything with regards to ability and capacity to care for the children? How old are the children? What is the co-parenting relationship with your ex like? I am not sure why access to one daughter would be granted and not the other (if your ex really thought there was a risk then access to all children would be with held??)

Mental Health issues and the determination of parental responsibility can be important if it is deemed that your condition poses a physical / emotional risk to the children. However, it seems like this is not the case. All credit to you for openness and honesty regarding mental health issues - this probably doesn't happen enough where people are going through separation and in disputes over children etc etc.

I'd think unless there are imminent or ongoing risks to the well-being of your children then your ex cannot with hold the children from you. I'd agree with the approach of the lawyer. i.e. send a letter requesting access to the children be restored - this can be accompanied with the letter of your doctor as well. It would help if the doctor states that you pose no risk to the children. I think there is probably a lot of weight in continuing to be honest about the mental health issues, especially with your ex. So tell her you are seeing a doctor, tell her what steps you take to be healthy. Something the court will look at with mental health issues is the relationship with your kids and that you are not loading your adult feelings on them etc.

In the mean time I would say keep trying to contact and see your kids. Keep records of this (especially when access is denied and the reasons given). Try and reason with your ex and explain there is no risk to the kids (if there genuinely isn't) Carry on seeing your doctor and continually manage your mental health (keep records of this). If it gets to the stage that this goes to court in order for you to get access all this will be vital information. Hope things get sorted soon

 

[canplaythegame]

care has been constant since the separation 5 or 6 years ago
every second weekend for the entire weekend.
only when she heard depression and medication from my 16 year old daughter she ceased access to my 6 year old daughter.
the 16 year old is in my care, just goes sporadically to her mums to catch up
doctor has written there is no risk.

Lawyer told me that " no parent has the right to deny access to a child"
"only children have the right"

Lawyer also said if we get on the front foot, and we win if it goes to court the other party can be responsible for party to party costs.
Is that correct?

 

[Rosscoe]

I don't want to say that you will get a costs order and etc etc, but it is a possibility and certainly a "threat" that can be made to your ex to make her see reason.

The fact that your ex is seemingly fine with one child in your care and not the other to me shows that she actually kind of acknowledges there is no risk. And your doctor has stated as much! The court would see this as an important factor. Parents have an obligation to ensure a meaningful relationship with the child and the other parent and this certainly cannot happen whilst access is being denied. It is true that children are the one's that have rights according to the Family Law Act ( A right to a meaningful relationship with both parents).

I agree with the lawyer and getting on the front foot. Good luck Daniel

 

[sammy01]

Be careful with solicitors saying the other party can be responsible for your costs. Yep it does happen sometimes BUT it is rare.

There are ways of getting on the front foot that don't rely upon throwing $ at solicitors.

So first question. have you provided a copy of the doctor's certificate to the ex? Do it via email if possible so there is no dispute around time and dates. Mate my advice is to stay the hell away from solicitors.

 

[canplaythegame]

ok thanks
I have contacted a community law group also.
I have a free phone session today and i am going to go to a free turn up session on monday.

I have sent a copy of doctors cert to her via picture message.
I sent it as soon as i walked out of doctors

I dont mind doing research in books i just dont know where to get access to the information i need to help

 

[sammy01]

so what is her response to you sending her a copy of the dr's certificate?

 

[canplaythegame]

i asked if a doctors certificate would be enough for her to let me see my daughter.

She said it must state that it is my regular doctor and that he understands my condition.

All of this was fine, same doctor since 2017, depression is pretty well known by doctors id think.

She said and then she will see her solicitor ( which they day before she told me she didnt have one ) and then decide if i can see my daughter

Still no guarantees

I took a photo of it and sent it to her
she replied saying its missing parts.
i looked and i missed the "s" in "his" at the end of one of the lines

 

[Rosscoe]

I would respond back (by e-mail perhaps is better) stating that you do not agree about the missing parts and that your request for access to your daughter remains - maybe provide a date and time that would you would like to see her, for instance according to your current parenting plan?

In the mean-time request for another letter in full from the doctor. It may help for the doctor to state some of his / her qualifications in the letter too?

 

[canplaythegame]

i already sent through a better picture with no missing parts
i will ask to see my daughter again today