QLD Deciding the Best Custody of Children Orders?

[Clancy]

Hi,

I have a 4-year-old daughter. I am filling out my final custody of children orders ready to apply in the court. It is the minimal ideal custody arrangement for me, however, is it enough or too much in consideration of my daughter's well being? That is what I am wondering.

These are the orders as I have written on the form:


1. Weekly custody, every Friday and Saturday from 5pm Friday to 5pm Saturday

2. Monthly custody, first week of every month. From Friday 5pm through to Monday 7am

3. Yearly custody, once per year for family vacation up to four weeks in length.

 

[Hope this helps]

Are these orders in relation to the times you are prepared to have her? Is the above times due to work commitments? Is there any reason why you are unable to have her fortnightly picking her up from preschool ( if she is turning 5 years old this year) on a Friday until 4 pm or 5 pm depending on her pattern of bathing, dinner and sleeping pattern or routine? Is there any reason why you can not have her for half school term breaks?

You must consider spending time for her birthday, Father's Day, Easter, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, time to see your family members, any special family celebrations including ones you and your daughter make up between yourselves.

Have you asked her yourself how much she would like to see and spend time with daddy in a light playful way?

Be a stable part of your daughter's life. You may think 4-year-olds don't notice much and need their mums more. They need both parents equally. And just in case you think you can't teach a four-year-old much - get ready for her to teach you a lot. And plenty about yourself and how much she may just be like you and tiresome as you may think your little one is they are fantastic company. Children are non-judgemental and love being with their daddy as well as their mummy. You are her parent.

 

[AllForHer]

Okay, so first...stop using the term custody. The Court's don't like it and have rejected it both in common law and legislation because it implies children are property, not people.

Second, is this how you have written the orders? If so, you need to amend it so that it's in proper form:

1. That the parents have equal shared parental responsibility for the child X, born 1 January 2016.
2. That the child live with the mother.
3. That the child spend time with the father at all times as agreed between the parties, and failing agreement, as follows:

a) Notwithstanding 3(b), each alternate week, from 5:00pm Friday until 5:00pm Saturday;
b) In the first week of each calendar month, from after school Friday until 7:00am the following Monday;​

Etc.

Third, I'd suggest be clearer about what you want so there is little room for interpretation. For example, the four week holiday period - is it four consecutive weeks, or can the weeks be split up over the course of the calendar year? Do you need to provide notice to the other parent for this holiday time? What about when the child starts school and the child has gazetted school holidays, are you expecting to be able to take her out of school for four weeks, or is it going to be only during gazetted holiday periods?Remember, these orders should be written with the intention to be long-standing, rather than changing them from year to year.

Fourth, what is the maximum time you can spend with the child, and why aren't you applying for it? When you're applying for final orders, remember that it's easier to decrease time spent with than it is to increase time spent with, so be fair, but don't be over-generous. If you can do 50/50, then apply for 50/50, and make sure the case for 50/50 is supported by your evidence (for example, for 50/50 to be suitable, your evidence should show that you have suitable accommodation for the child, that you can meet schooling obligations, that you and the mother can communicate about major long-term decisions, etc.).

Finally, only you really know what's best for your daughter. If you want some guidance on what is generically considered best for a child of your daughter's age, then consider talking to a child consultant at Relationships Australia.