Custody of Children for Sport Obsessed Ex?

[Blue Grass]

Ok long story short. Very nasty divorce, and ongoing custody of children battles. Ex is obsessed with sports. Child has now been ill for months with on-going doctors visits and medication. Child starts to get well, they have to go on access, and Ex insists child goes to training and matches despite near freezing conditions. No money for a lawyer.

Can I go direct to an Independent Children's Lawyer (ICL) or any other advice please?

 

[AllForHer]

These kinds of issues are endlessly frustrating because it's quite clear that playing sport shortly after a period of illness is not in the child's best interests, but unless you have a certificate from the doctor stating that he is not fit to play sports yet, then, unfortunately, there is not a great deal you can do here.

Basically, it is likely a that the court will not consider this a major issue in the greater scheme of things because a) sporting issues don't detract from a child's right to know and be cared for by each of his/her parents; and b) realistically, involvement in sports is a positive thing for kids and it may go against you if you choose to stop him from going without reasons validated by a medical expert.

I am sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear - children's matters are frustrating to no end when your views about parenting are so vastly different from your ex's. Just keep an eye on the matter and if he begins to show illness again, take him to a doctor and request certification that he be excused from playing sport for a while.

Hope this helps.

 

[Blue Grass]

These kinds of issues are endlessly frustrating because it's quite clear that playing sport shortly after a period of illness is not in the child's best interests, but unless you have a certificate from the doctor stating that he is not fit to play sports yet, then, unfortunately, there is not a great deal you can do here.

Basically, it is likely a that the court will not consider this a major issue in the greater scheme of things because a) sporting issues don't detract from a child's right to know and be cared for by each of his/her parents; and b) realistically, involvement in sports is a positive thing for kids and it may go against you if you choose to stop him from going without reasons validated by a medical expert.

I am sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear - children's matters are frustrating to no end when your views about parenting are so vastly different from your ex's. Just keep an eye on the matter and if he begins to show illness again, take him to a doctor and request certification that he be excused from playing sport for a while.

Hope this helps.

Thank you, yes I know you are correct but it is so hard seeing a child so ill, knowing as soon as you get them well the cycle will begin again. Other issue is I can no longer commit to full time employment as the children are constantly sick and I do tend to wonder if this is not the ultimate outcome that is wanted to see me struggling financially and emotionaly. I am aware that in the UK there is now a motion before government that once a child reaches 10 years the court must meet and hear the childs opinion. I truly hope that it comes to Aus. If there is one person who truly knows what goes on in each home it is the child so they should have a right to decide what they want and how much time they want to spend with each parent. The court, and both parents should accept that, in trying to make life better for the child. Thank you again for your reply

 

[AllForHer]

Yes, I understand your frustration. My step-daughter has come to us sick with a chest infection that was being treated with cough syearup, which is unsuitable for anyone under the age of six. We took her to the doctor, no problems, but the mother made unnecessary conflict about the choice of doctor, what the doctor said, and then later about how the child was still sick anyway. Somehow, that was our fault, even though we only see the child every second weekend.

Okay, rant over.

Just as an FYI, the court does give weight to the child's opinion in the Australian system - but only some weight, not all. Kids from about 12 years up are heard in court (some younger, if deemed mature enough), but when family reports are conducted, kids as young as five or six are often interviewed alone by the assessor and considered in the report.

Not all hope is lost, my friend.

 

[Blue Grass]

Yes, I understand your frustration. My step-daughter has come to us sick with a chest infection that was being treated with cough syearup, which is unsuitable for anyone under the age of six. We took her to the doctor, no problems, but the mother made unnecessary conflict about the choice of doctor, what the doctor said, and then later about how the child was still sick anyway. Somehow, that was our fault, even though we only see the child every second weekend.

Okay, rant over.

Just as an FYI, the court does give weight to the child's opinion in the Australian system - but only some weight, not all. Kids from about 12 years up are heard in court (some younger, if deemed mature enough), but when family reports are conducted, kids as young as five or six are often interviewed alone by the assessor and considered in the report.

Not all hope is lost, my friend.

Hi yes sounds like my life, why cant people just put kids first and stop using them to get at the other parent, so wrong and so hard to prove. Yes understand about the age 12 that is why I was saying I really hope if the age 10 comes in, in the UK there may be a push for the same here. Kids are so mature now, they should have a voice especially when it is 50/50 as they really have no "home" and it really effects school work, and building friendships with peers ending up with the child feeling isolated, and having no value because no one is willing to listen to what they want and how it all effects them. We pray for change and a better out come for the children.