VIC Clarification of Family Court Orders During Holidays?

[Seekinghelp]

I have family court orders which state that the father is to have the child every 2nd weekend, Friday to Sunday, and alternate Thursdays from 4-7, when the father doesn't have the child on the weekend. He also gets half the school holidays, alternating between first half and second half each year.

The father has him Thursday the week the March/April holidays start (that same weekend as that is his half of the holidays. If he has the child on the Thursday and then half holidays, should I have the child the weekend after holidays or should the father?

 

[MartyK]

If there is nothing in the orders that states when term arrangements resume, then I would be looking at it from this angle.

During those holiday periods where the father has the first week, given the orders only provide for EOW and a few hours on a Thursday, if his weekend (post holidays) was to fall on the second weekend, then he would not spend any significant time with the child for 3 weeks.

Easiest option, in my view however, would be to ask the father what he thinks and give him the option (given you have significant care as the residential parent). Assuming you are the' lives with' parent?

 

[Seekinghelp]

Thanks for your reply.

I am still a little confused. It states in the order that weekend and Thursday visitation are suspended when school holiday arrangements kick in.

So if I was to pre-fill a calendar, would I be writing in all the weekend and Thursday visitations for the whole year and then add in holidays or would I stop at the term breaks and then continue weekends and Thursdays?

 

[MartyK]

Yes, the usual term time arrangements (EOW and Thursdays) will not apply during school holiday periods. Both parents will instead have care of the child/ren during those periods (holidays) for a shared period of time, being 1/2 of the holidays each.

 

[Seekinghelp]

Yes, the usual term time arrangements (EOW and Thursdays) will not apply during school holiday periods. Both parents will instead have care of the child/ren during those periods (holidays) for a shared period of time, being 1/2 of the holidays each.

OK, so would it be the first scenario of filling in the whole calendar and cancelling out time or filling it in till term break starts and then re commencing after term break?

It seems to work out differently depending on how it's done.

 

[MartyK]

This will be dependent on the resumption of term times at the cessation of the school holiday period. Your original question indicates that this is not clear at this point in time.

 

[Seekinghelp]

This will be dependent on the resumption of term times at the cessation of the school holiday period. Your original question indicates that this is not clear at this point in time.

Yes that's correct. So it would be up to our own interpretation.

 

[sammy01]

Look whatever you decide - the ex will have to suffer with. Why? Well, what can he do about it? It ain't worth taking you back to court over... IMO - But what if I'm wrong, what if he interprets the orders differently and does take you back to court? More money, more stress...

So, my ex had similar ideas - every bloody time we had holidays, she would find a different way to interpret the orders. Crazy stuff like weekends don't count as 'holidays' in court orders - so I only had 5 nights as my 'half of the holidays.' Her intention was always the same - hurt me and minimise my time with the kids.

So the problem is the courts are not great at writing very specific - or the problem with the written word is that it is easy to 'interpret' differently - or have various interpretations.

My thought - fill in the calendar, ask him if he agrees and mention that you're willing to tweak each holiday closer to the date by agreement.

Story time - I asked for a slight change as I had family out on holidays. Nope, not a chance. Kids never met their now deceased great grandparents.

So let me ask you to consider what sort of ex you wanna be. Do you wanna be like my ex? Please say no.

Seriously - my ex has ruined any goodwill that might have existed and it has burnt her very badly...

Final thought - let the orders be a guide - a fall back. Encourage a bit of goodwill by offering a bit of extra time here and there... The goodwill will be returned 3 fold. Maybe not by the ex but by the child.

 

[MartyK]

So it would be up to our own interpretation.

Yes, by negotiation, in relation to the first week of school term. No, in relation to holidays themselves, as the times are already specified in the orders.

While you can certainly negotiate your own arrangements about times et al, orders can be a very good fall back. Especially if communications break down or in the early stages post Court, which can be a period when, sometimes, parents are more closed off to discussion.

 

[Seekinghelp]

Look whatever you decide - the ex will have to suffer with. Why? Well, what can he do about it? It ain't worth taking you back to court over... IMO - But what if I'm wrong, what if he interprets the orders differently and does take you back to court? More money, more stress...

So, my ex had similar ideas - every bloody time we had holidays, she would find a different way to interpret the orders. Crazy stuff like weekends don't count as 'holidays' in court orders - so I only had 5 nights as my 'half of the holidays.' Her intention was always the same - hurt me and minimise my time with the kids.

So the problem is the courts are not great at writing very specific - or the problem with the written word is that it is easy to 'interpret' differently - or have various interpretations.

My thought - fill in the calendar, ask him if he agrees and mention that you're willing to tweak each holiday closer to the date by agreement.

Story time - I asked for a slight change as I had family out on holidays. Nope, not a chance. Kids never met their now deceased great grandparents.

So let me ask you to consider what sort of ex you wanna be. Do you wanna be like my ex? Please say no.

Seriously - my ex has ruined any goodwill that might have existed and it has burnt her very badly...

Final thought - let the orders be a guide - a fall back. Encourage a bit of goodwill by offering a bit of extra time here and there... The goodwill will be returned 3 fold. Maybe not by the ex but by the child.

Very sorry to hear about your child not seeing their grandparent for the last time. That's terrible. I am flexible and want to negotiate but it's his way or the highway. Just another way of bullying I think.

Anyway, will ring the courts and see what they say