QLD Christmas Custody of Children Splits?

[Thefactsonly]

Hello,

Wondering if others could share their current plans/ideas/suggestions for the split of time over Christmas each year.

Currently there is 130km between parents' places, around 2 hours travel time one way. Lawyers are suggesting a split of 12 noon each Christmas, however, I am wondering if this really is the best for the kids. It would mean leaving one place around 10am (or the collecting parent collecting at 12pm and kids arriving at other house around 2pm).

The other party wants a split of 4pm 24th in even years and 6pm 25th odd years (with the children being in their care for 14 nights after each of these dates above). technically means one year I would have the kids up to 4pm on Christmas eve then not see them again until 3rd Jan.. and the following year I would have until 6pm on 25th and not see them again until 4th Jan...

I'm not keen on this.

Would appreciate any custody of children suggestions of what might work.

Thank you.

 

[sammy01]

So we did the noon thing for a few years. Hated it. Kids get to play with toys for a few hours then leave and the house went quiet... Kinda meant that no christmas's were all that memorable because half way through they would leave....

The ex moved 6 hours away. GREAT - so now we do first half of holidays each year. So in odd years I have from when school breaks up until about the 4 or 5 of January. and even years from 5th january until the end of the holidays.

Every second year my extended family come to my house and we do a huge christmas for the kids.... Then the next year it is quiet. But I think it is better for all concerned...

My problem with your proposal is that one year you DONT see the kids at all on Christmas day. The other year you to BUT not the whole day.

I reckon you're better off letting the kids have christmas with dad one year and mum the next. Christmas day is a crap day to spend time travelling. It is a day for hanging with the family.

 

[MartyK]

As sammy rightly points out, one of the issues you have here with the current proposal is that it seems one sided.

There are a great many variations to special occasion orders and a lot can depend on your own specific circumstances. To name just a few...

- is there any cultural or religious significance of the specific day/occasion for one or both of the parents?

- how far do the parents live from one another?

- what additional factors, if any, should be taken into consideration to meet any specific/special needs of your particular children?

- how old are the children? i.e. are they old enough to have some input into this decision?

Some basic examples (not written in Court order format) of Christmas Day arrangements...

- Parent A has 1st half of the long summer vacation while Parent B has the second half. This alternates each year (odd and even years). Children spend time with only one parent/side each year on Christmas Day.

- As above, but children also spend time with the parent who has the second half from (an allocated time) on either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day until Boxing Day or the day after Boxing Day

- Children spend time with Parent A and Parent B during the long summer vacation in a weekabout arrangement. Still alternate Christmas Day but the distance between Christmas Day and seeing the child/ren to celebrate it, for the children and other parent, is shorter

- Children spend Christmas Day each year with only one parent (usually religious reasons)

 

[AllForHer]

For my stepdaughter, Christmas is from Christmas Eve until after lunch Christmas Day with dad, and from after lunch Christmas Day until 2nd January with mum in the first year, then vice versa in the second year (except changeover on Christmas Day in the second year is at 6pm instead of after lunch so that every second year, we can take our kids to see their grandparents on my side without having to rush around for their sibling's middle-of-the-day changeover).

The after lunch changeover is hard, especially when coordinating a large family to accommodate one child so they don't have their Christmas lunch cut short. The only reason we can make it work is because my husband's family goes away on holidays on Christmas Day for a week, so they have a breakfast instead of a lunch most years.

If it were me, I would do Christmas Eve until Boxing Day morning with one parent, then Boxing Day morning until 2 January with the other. I would rather the kids have solid memories of great Christmases, than hazy memories of Christmases running around from house to house.

 

[Thefactsonly]

Thanks all - yes I was thinking it was a bit one sided... I love christmas time as do the kids, and I cant imagine the day being split between houses and driving, etc... Kids are 10 & 6 years old - and yes we do have a bit of a European tradition of having a family get together where 'santa' visits and hands out presents, special food etc - it's been great.

I am not happy with the other party suggesting they get the full Christmas/New Year holiday period every year, however they remain convinced the judge will side with them on this.

I am the full time parent at the moment and I cant see that changing - kids are fully integrated into schools, friends, sports etc. As such I do obviously get the kids a whole lot more then the other party - they are asking for only 14 nights each Christmas period and specifically want those dates to coincide with easier access to time off work.

Can I still ask for a split different to their one?

What would be easier on kids? one two week block, or two one week blocks? I don't want to ask the kids for input as they will say 'only weekends' - they are not keen on extended time.

 

[AllForHer]

Don't ask the kids. It's a parent's burden, so best not to share it with your younglings.

It's highly unlikely the Court will side with the other party getting every Christmas. The Court will almost definitely split it in some way year to year because the Court would see that the kids should benefit from enjoying the Christmas tradition of each parent, and that shouldn't be sacrificed because it doesn't suit mum or dad's annual leave period. It's about the kids' best interests, not the parents'.

Whether a one-week or two-week block is better really comes down to what you think would benefit your kids most. The regular care schedule in our house is week-about, so it's easier on my stepdaughter to just continue with that pattern. For parents who see their kids less frequently, though, I can see merit in a two-week block - it means less travel for changeovers, less changeovers all together, more time to visit family or go away somewhere for a holiday.