NSW Child support

[Broke]

Hello. I have 2 children to my ex who has not worked since our separation 8yrs ago. Although he can volunteer as a fire fighter???
He has been on Centrelink benefits for that whole time. Most of his money is made through buying and selling antiques and collectables online.
As such his assessments require him to pay me $0.
He is in breeched our court orders as he has had a partner living with him and my children (when visiting), without my knowledge. Specifically telling the kids not to tell me about it.
His partner works 2 jobs.
I have reported him twice to Centerlink but to no avail.
I have sole parental responsibility for the children and may need to move interstate and live with my family to regain some stability in my financial situation. He has created a perfect little racquet for himself as he has income and won't help me financially look after the children. I'm just after some advice as to what else I can do to try and even this whole thing out.
I'm at my wits end

 

[sammy01]

Look there is one huge flaw in the child support system and your ex is using it... So let's pretend they tell him he has to pay $100 a week. They won't take it from his centerlink payments because their is a minimum threshold before they take any $$. Same crap happens when one parent is a tradie (for example) and does as much cash work as possible to avoid payment.

Now - moving away. Look if you have sole parental responsibility (for everything to do with the kids?) Then sure you can move away and there isn't much he can do... But that is depriving the kids of time with their dad. Do your orders provide that the kids spend time with dad and specify how much time?

Final thought - ask to do mediation.

 

[Broke]

The moving away will be done for financial reasons alone not as a punishment to my ex for his lack of financial help. The kids spend every 2nd weekend with him. The children are 11 and 9. I was given sole responsibility as he has mental health issues. There are alot of other things that have been going on that I am concerned about it's not just about him not helping financially. Put it this way,,, he thinks that if I struggle that bad I will have to send the kids to live with him... Mediation does not work with him,, have tried numerous times in the past. The whole system is disfunctional. Just because he is their dad dosnt make him a father. The damage he is doing to our kids is disgusting and there isn't a God damn thing I can do about it. Legally I'm required to not only facilitate but just allow this child abuse to continue because he is their dad. It's a crock of s**t. Someone with some brains has to change this system. Not just dance up and down about equality for seperated parents. Some parents just down right don't deserve to have children.

 

[sammy01]

"Just because he is their dad doesn't make him a father."
U'm yes it does. Now, I get you're well upset. And I know that can cloud judgement... Trust me, my ex will tell ya I'm a lazy good for nothing scum bag.... But here I am helping out a stranger.

Look, if you have court orders that stipulate he has every second weekend then you have 4 options.
1. Seek an agreement from him to move. Ok, that ain't gonna work by the sounds of things.
2. Apply to court to move. Might work, might not. I can't give advice based on what you've said so far.
3. Move and hope he doesn't bother applying to court to make you come back. Bloody risky.
4. Stay - and accept this is the reality. Now the fact is, you've been to court. Now, I have to tell you nobody leaves court happy and that is probably a good thing. WHY? well if one parent left happy, the other parent would have to leave miserable.

You have mentioned that he is breach of a court order. Maybe there is an avenue there. But you've already been to court, do you really wanna go through that again?

Final thought - Take your emotions out of this. Maybe you're not even capable of doing that and I understand that too. This stuff suxs... BUT you have not stated that he is abusing the kids. You just don't like him... Here is another way of looking at it -My kids are similar ages. I've accepted that because of their age (among other things) I'm staying where I am because it is a crap time to move kids. As a teacher, i can tell you that it is a bloody tough thing being the new kid at school at that age. Some kid never get a friendship group after moving...

 

[Broke]

Your kidding. You shouldn't be offering up advice to anyone.
You have already stated you don't know the entire story. He is abusing the children by way of emotional manipulation and the damage he is doing is becoming more apparent in my children as they reach puberty.
Absolutely I dispose the person but I have had many years to overcome my own feelings.
Thanks for your useless comments... But I'd prefer to speak with someone who isn't biased on the father's side of the scales.

 

[sammy01]

GRRR - yes I don't know the entire story... All I have is the information YOU provided. IF you wrote that he abused the kids then my advice would be different. Don't angry with me just because you chose to leave out crucial information.... I've provided you with information about why the child support agency (unfortunately) is probably a waste of time... I also outlined options if you want to move... The correct response is 'thanks'.

Hey - I can only provide advice on the information provided.
I'm not biased / on the father's side... I'm not biased and on the mother's side...
If you want to move away then you have options. I outlined how you can approach that and gave various options. If I was pro-dad my advice would be to leave the kids with dad....

If you explained that there is abuse - Then report it... If there is abuse, I'd give different advice... But you didn't say there is abuse.
So calm down. I'm giving good advice...

BTW if there is abuse - then here are some questions for you to answer.
Have you reported it? If not why not?
If there is abuse why do you continue to send your kids?
Now feel free to type a response to those questions because your answers might change the advice you'll get and the advice you're getting is good advice. However, if the answer you want is something like - Yeah, look, just move away, do what you want it is a free country and feminism rocks then good oh... But that is not good legal advice. The 4 options I outlined above is good advice.

 

[Scruff]

@Broke: Holy crap! If that's how you're going to respond to a very carefully thought out response to your question, then I advise you to take your questions elsewhere. You won't get any help on here if that's how you're going to behave - and nor should you.

@sammy01: Is it just me, or is there a pattern emerging on here lately?

 

[Broke]

Ok. Firstly, I don't appreciate someone (not knowing the entire situation) tell me that I will be depriving my children if I am forced to move away to recover my financial situation.
Furthermore the comment made by me "just because he is their dad, dosnt make him a father"
Response,,,, *Yes it does😂. If you had any experience at all you would understand that not every father is actually making their children a priority, some people are not fit to be parents. End of story.
Now,, all I wanted to know was how can the situation be resolved WITH OUT me having to relocate. It's not about feminism nor punishing the other parent.
No,, I don't want to see court again, but if I have to for the welfare of my kids I will.
Prior experience at court was for 3yrs. Court was given all evidence of his mental health,, medical records, hospital admissions, police reports, councillors assessments the works. Independent court appointed pshycologist even recommended the father not spend significant time with the children. The court saw fit for the children to go regardless. He also took me back to court because I wanted to moved with family once before, the court allowed me and that was when they gave me sole parental responsibility. The system is completely flawed from top to bottom. That's probably why you see a growing trend in people's frustration,, especially when it comes to the kids and trying to do what's best for them, not because someone who thinks that the kids will be at a disadvantage because the don't spend time with the other parent. Every situation is different and should be treated as such.

 

[sammy01]

Scruff - Nope, not just you...
Broke. You came here looking for advice, you didn't give us the full story. I responded based on the information you provided. I'm an going to be pretty critical here... See, if it were me, the 'fact' that the kids were being abused would have been further up my priority list of things to seek advice on ahead of child support and relocating. Maybe we just have different values.

Now as you rightly stated - nope.. i don't know the whole story, all I've got is the info you provide.. U'm you have already been given approval for relocation? Well that might have been worth mentioning earlier.

Ok, so I hope the question about child support has been adeqately answered? even though I don't doubt you don't like the answer - Me either, my ex hasn't paid a cent in yrs...

So court appointed psychologist recommened the father not spend 'significan't time with the children'. SIGNIFICANT TIME means 3-4 nights a fortnight... So the court didn't go against the recommendations. You then got approval to relocate? so here is where I'm stuck... Why can't you relocate? Have you moved once and now want to move further?

Final thought - your opinion of dad isn't relevant. My opinion of my ex isn't relevant either.... But I would like an answer why do you continue to send your kids to someone who according to you is abusive?

 

[Broke]

A court order is a court order. I must do what they have told me to do regardless of if it is the right decision or not. I moved once before for family reasons and have since returned back to the surrounding area of the father.. The father has 3nights a f/night care court ordered. I spent a fortune fighting in court to prove what was happening. In the end it wasn't about the kids and their well being. My only avenue at this point is the fact that he is not contributing to the upbringing of the children at all. You didn't need to know all the facts to just answer the question I asked.
Anyway, Thanks for trying to be helpful, but I will pass on your "good advice".