I'm not a family lawyer, but have some experience in child support issues.
Firstly, are there any parenting orders in place? Specifically, are there any orders about who is to determine the children's schooling? Also, you don't mention whether the child support is private or agency collect.
While there could be an argument for you contributing to the cost of schooling for your eldest because you consented to her going to the school you did revoke that consent, and only agreed in the first place under 'pressure' (how relevant that is depends on the circumstances). CSA's guidelines around expenses outside of the usual payments system basically boil down to (a) where both parties agree to it or (b) where one parent makes an application to CSA and they agree to it.
With (a), at least in my experience, it has to be very clear that the party being asked to contribute overtly agreed to do so. From what you've said, that would not appear to be the case.
With (b), in terms of private schooling,
@sammy01 has kindly linked the Child Support Guide part on high costs for educating. Under the section "Is the child being cared for, educated or trained in a manner expected by his or her parents?", it states:
"
Where a parent has not agreed to the child attending a private school they will not be liable to contribute to the fees unless there are reasons relating to the child's welfare that mean that the child attend a private school (and the costs would then relate to the child's special needs - See Reason 2 (2.6.8)"
This raises two issues:
(i) If there are special needs, it may be accepted by CSA that you are liable; and
(ii) The Guide says "a" private school, not "a specific" private school. If you've agreed they may attend a private school, but just not that particular one, you may be deemed to have consented to the attendance in the absence of any sort of right to determine which school (see my above comments about parenting orders).
Lastly, with respect to the debt collectors, there's a general way to deal with these sorts of things. ACCC and ASIC jointly publish a Debt Collection Guideline. It's not strictly binding, but it is the benchmark for industry and generally followed. You can get it from the
www.accc.gov.au website. Read the section "Quantum of or liability for a debt is disputed" starting on page 27.
When contacted, politely inform the debt collector that you dispute liability for the debt. If they continue to contact you and it's not for one of the appropriate reasons, ask them if they adhere to the ASIC/ACCC Debt Collection Guideline. If they say yes, remind them of the section on disputed debt. If they don't (which would be rare), suggest that they might like to consider it before taking any further action. Either way, restate that you have disputed liability for the debt and no further communication with you should be made unless it is for the purpose of:
- Clarifying the basis of the claim and the consequences of legal action being taken;
- Informing you of the intention to start legal proceedings (or actually serving you with process); or
- Putting a genuine proposal to you for settlement of the debt (if you're willing to entertain that).
