QLD Child Support and Medical Expenses - Am I Liable?

[mark7896]

Hi.

The ex and I share 2 kids, aged 3 and 5. I pay just shy of $600 child support a month.

Prior to child support assessment/ collecting of the money, we had a private agreement where she sent me receipts at the end of the month for the expenses of the two kids and I paid half. Then on a few occasions, I had some unforeseen expenses and couldn't pay.

I understand it wasn't fair to her or the kids but it is what it is and I could pay and asked her to wait a few months. Apparently that was too hard for her to do and she contacted child support to do an assessment and collect from me.

One of the kids has ongoing specialist appointments. After child assessment was done and I'd started to pay she didn't send me the receipts for these visits and assumed that it was meant to be covered in her child support payments I made. She provided me with updates but no receipts.

7 months down the track she informs me there have been a few unforeseen medical expenses. Some relating to the ongoing issue with the one child and and few new ones. All up the expenses are about $1500.00 combined and she wants me to pay for half.

i personally don't feel as though I should have to. I pay my child support and I feel that $600 I pay plus the Family Tax benefit she receives should cover these expenses. It does not cost $600 per month to raise 2 kids so what does she do with the rest of the money that should have been saved for rainy days like this?

Can someone please help if I am liable to pay half these expenses and if so who enforces this?

Thank you

 

[sammy01]

Look the child support agency has rules.... Call them and have an anonymous chat...

My understanding is nope, you do not have to pay... She can make an application for additional payments based on special medical needs. But she would have to be able to establish that it is well and truly beyond the usual stuff...

Here is a link to their rules
2.6.8 Reason 2 - the Special Needs of the Child | Child Support Guide

My suggestion. Refuse to pay. Don't even tell her about the CSA rules, if she wants she can pursue it through them, but you don't have any obligation to tell her that... Let's face it, if you did give her that advice, she will not say thanks - true

 

[SamanthaJay]

You don't have to pay 1/2 for the medical bills.

But let me tell you this. If you think a pissy $600 a month plus FTB covers the cost of raising two children, then you are deluded. Clearly the medical bills for one of the children is costing beyond this. I'm sure you know what it costs to put a roof over your children's head costs, food, clothing, kindergarten/preschool, school fees, extra activities etc etc. Don't kid yourself that you are badly done by.

 

[AllForHer]

You don't have to pay 1/2 for the medical bills.

but let me tell you this. If you think a pissy $600 a month plus FTB covers the cost of raising two children, then you are deluded. Clearly the medical bills for one of the children is costing beyond this. I'm sure you know what it costs to put a roof over your children's head costs, food, clothing, kindergarten/preschool, school fees, extra activities etc etc. Don't kid yourself that you are badly done by.

What do you put the cost of kids - just the kids - at per month? $1000? $1200? $2000?

And what portion do you think each parent should pay? Should they pay whatever is equivalent to the time they actually have the kids in their care? Should they pay more if they have the kids less, even if it's of no choice of their own? What percentage should they have a say in? Should one decide on costs and just invoice the other for whatever percentage they deem appropriate? Or should they both have a say?

If one is available to care for the kids in place of day care (or prep/kindy where it's optional), but the other insists on putting them into care anyway, who should cover that cost?

If one parent earns more, should they have to pay more? Why? To give the kids the same lifestyle in both houses, though one parent works and the other doesn't?

If one can't afford the kids, isn't the sensible option to give the kids to the other parent more often in order to ease the fiscal burden?

Child support is not so black and white as 'this is what the kids cost and this is why you shouldn't complain about paying $600 a month'.

 

[Lennon]

Agree entirely AllForHer!!

 

[mark7896]

Thank you soo much for your help. I was expecting to get my head bitten off.

Another question if I may. I'm a distance parent by choice so she has 100% care. I again due to my own choices have no relationship with the youngest. I see the kids once year. With facetime contact where i can fit it in.

When I do come I take the eldest and he comes and stays with me but she wont allow me to take the youngest she will do supervised visits at a park or what not whenever i want while she sits back and leaves us. The child is very hesitant on me and if the mother goes to the toilet and he can't see her he cries hysterically so I understand to some degree but at what point can I force the issue of me making the child come with me for a week?

Her excuse is the child doesn't know me and she doesn't feel he will cope being with a stranger and that I'm expecting too much too soon but i feel the child needs to learn?

 

[Lennon]

How old are your kids Mark?

I am a distance parent too, but I skype the kids for an hour every week and for the last couple of years they have come to stay with me rather than me going to see them (now they are old enough to fly unaccompanied).

 

[sammy01]

Samantha Jay - he is paying what he is assessed to pay. Seems like he was paying extra for a while there. He made a mistake, nope the $600 a month does not cover all the expenses - it covers his portion, based on a CSA assessment

He has asked does he have to pay more... The consensus here is nope... Read his post again... He was paying according to a private agreement. All good. The ex changed her mind, wanted it done by CSA - no worries says he... He pays what he is assessed to pay- according to the rules... Fair enough... Nope, not according to you.


Mate ignore Samantha - she is in the wrong...but just for fun... Pay the child support, but then offer to pay $20 a fortnight more... just so you can tell her that you're paying more than you're assessed to pay... She will whinge and say whoopty doo, only $20 - you can then withdraw the offer of the extra $20..

 

[SamanthaJay]

Nope Sammy, AllForHer and Lennon - you have all read me wrong. I agree that he should be (and he is) paying the assessed amount. I know CS is not black and white and it's complicated. The objection I have is where he says:

"it does not cost $600 per month to raise 2 kids so what does she do with the rest of the money that should have been saved for rainy days like this?"

He also says this:

"one of the kids has ongoing specialist appointments."

Like most fathers that hate paying CS, he is probably thinking she is spending his money not on the kids but on going to hairdressers, nights out on the town, living the high life, tropical holidays and new designer dresses.

He is contributing $20.22 per day - that is $10.11 per child - to his own children's support and upbringing. Including one of those precious children who has health issues.

And Sammy, what a hero with the private agreement (that he was a couple of months late paying when mum went to CS to have it assessed and collected by CS). Hey, bad luck if mum had a few unforseen issues and she didn't have enough money to pay for food to feed her kids and pay the rent. How does it seem he was paying more with the private agreement? He never said that. He said he was paying half the children's expenses - expenses that mum had to send the receipts for so he could go halves with her.

I wonder if he paid half the food bill and part of the rent for the roof over his kids' heads? Or 2/3s of the electricity bill? Or part of the petrol to drive the kids to kinder or to the specialist? Or part of the car maintenance or half the 5 year old's ticket on the bus? Seems like he is most annoyed that he can't control where his money is spent now that he has to pay it to CS.

I agree he is asking if he has to pay 1/2 the medical bills. And I said in my post "You don't have to pay 1/2 for the medical bills." Just like you did so where am I wrong in your opinion? Because I said he's deluded if he thinks his pissy $10.11 per child per day is covering half his children's costs? Sammy, if that's the case, then I think you will find 9 out of 10 people will agree with me and you are in fact, wrong.

 

[SamanthaJay]

Thank you soo much for your advise i was expecting to get my head bitten off.

Another question if i may. Im a distance parent by choice so she has 100% care. I again due to my own choices have no relationship with the youngest. I see the kids once year. With facetime contact where i can fit it in.

When i do come i take the eldest and he comes and stays with me but she wont allow me to take the youngest she will do supervised visits at a park or what not whenever i want while she sits back and leaves us. The child is very hesitant on me and if the mother goes to the toilet and he cant see her he cries hysterically so i understand to some degree but at what point can i force the issue of me making the child come with me for a week?

Her excuse is the child doesnt know me and she doesnt feel he will cope being with a stranger and that im expecting too much too soon but i feel the child needs to learn?

Mark, I'm obviously the last person you want some advice from but I'm going to give it for the kids' sake. The children are 3 and 5. Your little fellow barely knows you and probably forgets all about you in that year he doesn't see you.

Can you imagine a stranger taking your child for a week? You are barely nothing more than a stranger to him. Some children are more clingy than others. And he can probably sense the tension. Hey, mum loves them more than life itself. Of course she wants for him to have a peaceful time with you but a week with someone he barely knows I think is way too much.

You've got to put more effort into these kids. You say you facetime when you can fit it in. How often is that? I think you need to make a much greater effort with this. Kids are great with routine. Pick two days a week that suit you and mum and the kids, along with a suitable time, and make it a priority that comes before just about anything else to face time or skype with your kids.

Read them a story, listen to anything they want to tell you, tell them about your job/your day, sing them a song, tell them knock knock jokes. I'm sure you've heard about kids growing up too quickly. That's going to happen before you know it and you are going to be nothing but a vague memory to your kids that didn't make too much effort to be in their lives if you don't change things.