QLD Child Manipulated - Not Seeing or Talking to Father and Sister?

[Allan Martin]

Hi, I'm new to this legal forum site but wish to find out and understand the family law and court, it's be two years since my continuing non-contact with my two daughters as we live in different states. At first I was going through the mediation process, supervised visits one day a week phone call that lasted 12 months then end with a call that seemed like my girls where manipulated into saying I don't want to talk to you or see you. That left me shocked knowing that the only to visits I had and several short phone calls the girls and I were comfortable with each other. They never felt or seemed shy of spending that time with me or talking, also their older step sister wishes to know them and see them as we do miss them and love them both.

 

[AllForHer]

Hi, Allan,

First of all, let me say how very sorry I am that you are going through this. Children's matters are delicate and emotionally painful at the best of time. Rest assured that your children probably miss you a lot, but may face reprimand from their mother if they express it. It takes patience and a softly-softly approach to deal with kids before the court, so make sure you are meeting their best interests at all times by not being the perpetrator for conflict, or the perpetuator.

Second thing is that learning family law and court processes and all the rest is a very daunting, emotionally strenuous and expensive endeavour, even for self-represented litigants, so be prepared to commit yourself fully to learning as much as you can. And make sure you always take care of yourself.

So, first question, what state are you?

Second question, was there a reason that the kids' time with you was supervised? That is, were there issues of domestic violence?

 

[Allan Martin]

Hi, Allan,

First of all, let me say how very sorry I am that you are going through this. Children's matters are delicate and emotionally painful at the best of time. Rest assured that your children probably miss you a lot, but may face reprimand from their mother if they express it. It takes patience and a softly-softly approach to deal with kids before the court, so make sure you are meeting their best interests at all times by not being the perpetrator for conflict, or the perpetuator.

Second thing is that learning family law and court processes and all the rest is a very daunting, emotionally strenuous and expensive endeavour, even for self-represented litigants, so be prepared to commit yourself fully to learning as much as you can. And make sure you always take care of yourself.

So, first question, what state are you?

Second question, was there a reason that the kids' time with you was supervised? That is, were there issues of domestic violence?

My location is Qld with my eldest girl their step sister, I'm not a threat to my kids and have never been a violent or abusive man towards woman or any one im not a hateful person my friends and family are my proof i dedicate my working hard to supporting my three girls and there future as I'm a single dad who's helped raised my eldest girl with share care of her mother my other x and we get along great with decision on her growth and health no court or mediation I now have taken the care for my nephew and allow his mother and father to see him and still be involved in his life and they have no problems with that and are greatful as there personal back grounds with welfare are unstable, so I'm not sure why the supervised visits I found my self pondering over that to

 

[AllForHer]

Hi, again, Allan,

That's good to hear that there's no issues of family or domestic violence. Makes things a lot easier.

The first step in parenting matters is to bring the mother to family dispute resolution. You can do this either through Legal Aid, which will give you some legal representation (though you may have to pay if you are not eligible to receive legal aid funding), or through a family relationships centre or through another mediation service. When you select who you are going to do this through, you must make sure that they are qualified to issue a section 60(i) certificate (or a s60i certificate), which is a certificate that shows you have made a reasonable effort to reach an outcome outside of court. Having this certificate is mandatory before any court proceedings can commence.

Given that you have done some mediation before, it may happen that you won't reach an agreement with the mother. If you do, that's great - you can both sign a parenting plan that stipulates what times the child spends with you and how the child communicates with you. If you want, you can register the parenting plan with the court to give it some legal force, or you can have it made into consent orders, which are court orders that you make by consent and enable the court to hold parties accountable in cases of contravention.

If you can't reach an agreement and you decide to pursue parenting orders, there are some things to consider.

The Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) is the legislation which applies to you and the parenting matter in question. Some points of note come from Section 60CC as follows:
- The child's best interests are of paramount importance to the Court.
- The primary consideration in deciding what's in the child's best interests is the benefit to the child of having a meaningful relationship with both parents. Additionally, it's also in the best interests of the child not to be exposed to family violence, which you've said has never been an issue.
- The secondary considerations are things like whether or not the child has an attachment to you, whether or not you have paid child support, whether or not you have spent time with the child, how involved you have been (or tried to be) with long-term decisions (health care, education, religious affiliations, etc.), whether or not you can provide for the child's needs (like a home, education, etc.), and whether or not you encourage the relationship with the other parent.

In addition, you should know that it is your child's right to know and spend time with both parents on a regular basis.

While you should get used to the phrase 'it's in the child's best interests' and you should also make sure you are acting to show that you can take care of your child, your first step, before any of the court stuff even becomes an option, you need to organise mediation with the mother to try and reach an outcome outside of court, and if not, obtain a s60i certificate.

Feel free to ask some more specific questions as you go. Hope this helps.