SA Can my kids decide not to visit their father?

[Nicca]

I've been separated from the father of my children since 2009, in 2013 we went to court and got orders stating that the children live with me and visit their father every second weekend and half of each school holidays. In February 2016 when the children were visiting their father they witnessed him beat up his partner, the police were involved and the children come back to me. There were also other incidents were they saw him abuse her but this time they didn't want to go back because they didn't feel safe, so they stopped visiting him. They still continued communication via phone calls and texts, they still continued visiting his parents and cousins where they would see him, he still continued attending sporting and school events but the children never stayed with him. Now fast forward to today I received a letter from his lawyer stating new terms that he want put in place or he will go back to court and get the court orders re enstated. The children are 17 turning 18 this year, 15 turning 16 this year and 11 turning 12 this year. The 17 year old has a full time apprenticeship, the 15 year old is in highschool and has 2 part time jobs after school and on weekends and in the holidays. They all play sports on weekends as well. They still don't want to have visits with him because of what they have witnessed while staying with him. Oh and the father and I live in separate towns 2 hours apart. What rights do my children have and where do I to from here? Thanks in advance

 

[Rod]

If you are adamant in supporting your kids' opinions and prepared to go to court, then let him go to court. At these ages and with their activities, you stand a reasonable chance of the kids opinions counting for something at court.

If you are on talking terms with him see if you can get him to see reason and that it is the kids choice, not yours.

In the meantime make sure you document as much as you can, you may need it for court. I'm undecided on whether you need to reply to the lawyer. One part of me says don't bother, but not having read the letter I'm unsure if anything does need a response.

 

[sammy01]

I'd write back, explain the situation and offer alternate arrangments - The kids spend time with their father for a few days each set of holidays but he has to accept that the kids do not wantto be exposed to violence. The age of the kids matter..

If dad wants to take it to court, that is his right. But I'm sure the solicitor will be warning him that given the history and time frames and age of the two elder kids, his chance of having the old orders re-instated are not 100%.