QLD Asking for interim orders - self represented

[AmandaB]

Hi
First I apologise if this is a frequently asked question.

I have applied for interim & final orders in the fed circuit court. I am self represented - ex has legal aid funding.

After the first court date, ex had not submitted her response to my application so the judge gave her a date for that and ordered a child inclusive conference which has been completed & memorandum received.

We have another court date next week.
Our children are 15, 11 and 8. They have all expressed strong views of wanting to live with me.

I believe a family report will be ordered as the family consultant has strongly suggested it, but I don’t know how to go about getting interim orders in place.

Please note I live approx 12hrs from my kids - not my choice, the mother moved away without my consent 3.5 years ago. There is no agreement of visitation either, there are no orders or custody - ex claims I can’t see kids until an order is put in place. I have not seen them for 3.5 years. I decided to lodge with courts to get something done in the best interest of our kids.

Thank you for any help
Dave

 

[sammy01]

Hi Dave....
Firstly. Can I please strongly encourage you to have a look at mensline... IT is a bit clumsy but once you get there and hit their forum, you'll get some great advice... just google MENSLINE... it is a free service.

There is also a book called "breaking up" by a guy, his last name is Larkin. Get it and read it.

Would you move 12 hours to be closer to the kids?
Mate the biggest problem is the 3 year period... I really wish you'd have done this 3 yrs ago.

Can you please make sure you give us as much details as you can... Dont mention names or places.. Sorry mate, BUT the more detail the better. But post on mensline... TRUST ME

 

[Rod]

What did you request in the application? Interim and final orders should have appeared in your application.

At the hearing you ask the judge to order interim orders as per your application.

 

[AmandaB]

thanks for your suggestions sammy01 - I know 3 yrs is a long time but honestly when she moved I thought it would be the best for us & the kids eg if she’s happy the kids will be too. We agreed after she moved to visits but she has never upheld them.

She is very spiteful and doesn’t think how these actions may be affecting the kids. Our relationship didn’t end on bad terms and I moved 15 mins from the kids to remain in their lives. I would move closer to them now but I cannot trust that she will stay there and not uproot the kids again out of spite - then I’m stuck there with no kids having tried as a father.

I have asked in the interim for my son to live with me, however my middle daughter is adament she is coming too.

My ex will not allow me to FaceTime the kids as it uses her phone so I provided my son with an iPhone and SIM card which she took off him and destroyed.

I know it is my own fault for letting it get this far on, but I honestly believed she would get past the adult issues and focus on the kids best interests instead of her own.

 

[thatbloke]

Zero chance of getting such a major upheaval without a final hearing. The best you can probably hope for is slow introduced time, possibly via a contact centre.

In the long term you would have to have a pretty darn good argument to remove 3 kids from their school and friends to move 12 hours away

That's the reality of what you are facing so please do not expect too much in your first mention or probably in your first 10 mentions you will only cause yourself mental pain

 

[Rod]

In his favour is that the mum is refusing contact. This can be a solid ground for having the children live with him and spend time with mum.

 

[thatbloke]

In his favour

Not seen kids for 3.5 years
lives 12 hours away
And, (assumption) No court action on the Dads part for around 3 years (2nd mention next week)

He will get an introduction of time but... little bits at first
He should prepare himself for the inevitable question that the court will ask eventually

"Why has it taken you so long?"

 

[Rod]

Admittedly, true.

His comeback is that he has been denied access and had hoped it would improve over time, it hasn't, hence court.

 

[AmandaB]

Thanks for your replies - we have tried 3 mediations over the years but she would not agree to anything that increases my interaction with our kids eg facetime, visits.
The reason that I have finally filed in court is I got to see my kids in jan 2018 thanks to exes brother and sister who disagreed with her not allowing them to see me when they came to brisbane . That was the final straw.

My kids get into trouble when I email the ex about the kids when she should be responding as an adult to my email.

I hate to say it but I feel she is only interested in the monetary gain and not the kids we’ll being

 

[sammy01]

So why not contact her. As for some time next holidays.... Do it via email or text... so there is a record... Don't get involved in any arguments. Just a nice short text. Dear ex, I'd like to see the kids for a few days next holidays. When suits?