Any recourse to claim compensation for ex prolonging legal battle around children's custody

[kimbapuppy]

I have spent ~$80k in legal fees to date to get more access to my 2 lovely daughter and there has not been any favourable tangible outcomes and I have decided to represent myself for now.

Context:
- Separated in December 2015
- January 2016, initiated mediation process in relation to children's custody (only saw my children between 0 to 3 nights a fortnight when it suits the ex) and this applied during school holidays too
- Ex canceled mediation (I wanted 6 nights per fortnight) in June
- In July, my ex's lawyer proposed 4 nights per fortnight which my lawyer replied and accepted in the interim pending round talk discussions (which never occurred) and recommended Family Report writer to make a determination as a way forward to break the deadlock in the negotiation of the number of nights.
- My ex did not honour the 4 nights and caused a scene (three times) at the school to take the children from me when it was my turn to pick up the children (we were taken to the principal's office - and the next year, our children were given brand new teachers as the existing teachers didn't want to deal with having to stay back after school)
- My ex also denied my children to spend time at their grandfather's birthday and restricted time to play with their cousins visiting for a short period from Sydney
- Re-started mediation again in October and she cancelled due to a home delivery
- Lodged Initiation Application in late November, which the ex then complied to the 4 nights per fortnight and less than 50% of school holidays again in her favour.
- Initial hearing in January 2017 got postponed till March 2017 due to judicial unavailability (the ex filed for Financial Settlement a week prior to the hearing)
- Consent order in place as of March 2017 onwards for 4 nights with court order for a Family Report Writer
- Conciliatory meeting held in late May 2017 did not result in any order because the ex did not agree to a final recommendation from the Family Report writer for the parents to pack the children's extra-curricular items so that the parents in the children's care can take them to the extra-curricular activities
- Tried to organise mediation to finalise other children's matter (not the number of nights) and
- At the Conciliatory meeting, Family Report Writer recommended 5 nights per fortnight as of July 2017 onwards (which the ex consented to) and an extra night 12 months later after "therapeutic counselling"
- The ex lawyer wrote to my lawyer agreeing to the 5 nights which I replied in agreement
- I contacted child support of the change in care arrangement from 4 to 5 nights and the ex disputed this
- Text message on 17 July 2017 from the ex confirms the change in days, the next day she no longer consents and threatens to maintain 4 nights for me till the final hearing in March 2018.
- Next court hearing is in August 2017

The costly legal fees were also attributed to the fake IVO she placed on me in July 2016 to blackmail me which I contested and got leave approved for revocation as she failed to comply with the magistrate order TWICE to provide further an better particulars to her allegations. She withdrew the IVO in May 2017. She applied for the IVO after I applied for an IVO against her brother who physically assaulted me in front of my 5 year old daughter then when I attempted to pick up my children (with written consent from the ex). The ex lied in court under oath in the witness box for her brother (who was employed by the police as a PSO) to justify him assaulting me and protecting his job. Even with the video shown of the physical assault by the PSO and the fear in my daughter's reaction, the magistrate put an IVO against me. My barrister pointed out to the magistrate that the ex was lying several times and they were disregarded.

The ex lawyer has threatened Calderbank offer in relation to financial settlement even though the ex failed to provide the discovery documents that my lawyers have requested many times. The ex also transferred $80k out of her bank account into her deceased sister's bank account just prior to our separation.

Is there any court case precedence I can use (similar to the Calderbank case which is for financial settlement), but in relation to child custody that would allow me to recuperate legal cost from the other party for prolonging the litigation process. Also, any suggestions on how I can move forward would be much appreciated. Thanks!

 

[AllForHer]

Forgive me, but it doesn't sound like the Court process in relation to parenting orders has been unnecessarily prolonged at all. Indeed, you're only, what, eight months in, and insofar as I can tell, the ex's main wrongdoing in your view is playing to-and-fro on agreeements, which, I note, have not been made into consent orders, interim or otherwise, meaning she doesn't have to follow them because there's no recourse for not doing so.

What you've got is really just a difficult ex, but people wouldn't be in Court for such matters if they didn't have a difficult ex, would they? You also have plenty of evidence to support your attaining more time with the kids. What you perhaps need more of is patience. But what you don't really have is evidence of your ex frustrating proceedings such that a costs order could be justified. When you're three years in and the ex is repeatedly contravening orders that requires you to pursue more litigation, then you might have a case.

 

[sammy01]

Look I agree with ALLFORHER... BUT I might have phrased it differently... Sadly 80 grand is common $$$ and reflect the crazy $$ solicitors charge... It is just appalling.

I wish you'd have come across this site sooner. Getting rid of solicitors is a good idea... Often it send the other party crazy, they are paying legal biss and you are not. My ex would go crazy if I got a free piece of chewing gum if she had to pay for her's.

But more importantly, I hate to say it, but there are some cases and you could be one of them, where the ex still won't play nice even after final court orders... So you might as well start learning to self represent now.

There is a good book buy a guy called Larkin It is called "breaking up" it is a guide to self representing. You should be able to get a copy from the local library.

 

[Rod]

I somehow suspect you should continue with the lawyer, at least on a part-time basis. Dealing with property settlement and legal terms such as a Calderbank offer is fraught with difficulties. The general rule in Family Law is that each party pays their own costs, but this rule can be displaced in certain circumstances.

I'd not like to fight a battle with a vindictive ex who is already having her legal rep throwing around terms like 'Calderbank offer' without some kind of legal advice of my own. Fighting the IVO was your big mistake, and I understand why you did it, just not sensible wasting your $$ on an IVO. Money is better spent chasing parenting time and property.