I work in a small sales department. At the beginning of the year, the firm hired a new department manager. He is a nice guy and friendly to everyone but since the day he started, my work life has turned upside down. A week after he started, he told me he really liked me. I told him I was not seeking a relationship. He seemed to accept this and is still being friendly and nice to me, however he has a fix on me at all times. He becomes very moody towards me whenever I do anything that he doesn't like in my personal life, and sometimes even at work. Examples:
= Whenever I approach a handsome, good-looking male customer, I either return to him and he suddenly becomes moody towards me as in he won't speak or look at me even when I have work-related things to discuss with him.
= He has, at times, actually had other staff members cut in and take over my sales pitch if I am talking to a decent-looking male. He will then get me to do something irrelevant or something that could have waited until after the sale.
= He is on my Facebook and if I tag myself going out, especially with pictures or tags with male friends, he becomes moody and, again, acts stand-offish to me at work even about work stuff.
= Recently, a sales trainer was hired, one day a week, to improve our sales team targets. The sales trainer used me as an example and had me follow him around all day to teach me his way of doing things. The manager went to the firm's bosses and had the sales trainer removed.
= I started seeing a colleague outside of work. It was so quiet that no one knew until we tagged each other in photos. My manager had him moved to another department within the week.
= He is constantly sending me messages asking me what I am doing? Where I am?
= If I don't message him or reply to him for more than several hours, he becomes agitated and tells me, via message, that I have been ignoring him and he is upset at me, and sometimes he says he is confused about what is happening between us.
= Once, my friend from out of town came into my work to take me to lunch. My manager was having a day off. The following day he questioned me about it and said I was being sneaky. I asked how he knew? He had checked the store cameras.
= It was raining the other day and I offered a lift home to a male colleague because he does not drive. My manager messaged me an hour later and wanted to know where I was? And if I had just dropped off our colleague and left, or if I had stayed for a bit?
= The other staff all notice it and have commented on it at times.
I can't keep doing this. He is constantly watching me and questioning my whereabouts. It is making my work so hard! I am actually feeling sick in the stomach about it all. If I don't contact him, he says that it is rude and becomes agitated. He constantly says he is confused about us even when I have clearly told him many times that I only want to be friends, nothing more. He doesn't try to touch me or assault me, and he isn't rude to me to my face and he isn't derogatory. He is actually polite, well-mannered, and very friendly in person - besides the times mentioned.
I am afraid that I will lose my job if I do anything he doesn't like or if I tell him to leave me alone. I cannot lose my job. I have so many necessary expenses and it is hard enough to find work as it is.
Am I being harassed or am I being paranoid? I almost called a lawyer for help but had to hang up. Please send me any advice you have.
= Whenever I approach a handsome, good-looking male customer, I either return to him and he suddenly becomes moody towards me as in he won't speak or look at me even when I have work-related things to discuss with him.
= He has, at times, actually had other staff members cut in and take over my sales pitch if I am talking to a decent-looking male. He will then get me to do something irrelevant or something that could have waited until after the sale.
= He is on my Facebook and if I tag myself going out, especially with pictures or tags with male friends, he becomes moody and, again, acts stand-offish to me at work even about work stuff.
= Recently, a sales trainer was hired, one day a week, to improve our sales team targets. The sales trainer used me as an example and had me follow him around all day to teach me his way of doing things. The manager went to the firm's bosses and had the sales trainer removed.
= I started seeing a colleague outside of work. It was so quiet that no one knew until we tagged each other in photos. My manager had him moved to another department within the week.
= He is constantly sending me messages asking me what I am doing? Where I am?
= If I don't message him or reply to him for more than several hours, he becomes agitated and tells me, via message, that I have been ignoring him and he is upset at me, and sometimes he says he is confused about what is happening between us.
= Once, my friend from out of town came into my work to take me to lunch. My manager was having a day off. The following day he questioned me about it and said I was being sneaky. I asked how he knew? He had checked the store cameras.
= It was raining the other day and I offered a lift home to a male colleague because he does not drive. My manager messaged me an hour later and wanted to know where I was? And if I had just dropped off our colleague and left, or if I had stayed for a bit?
= The other staff all notice it and have commented on it at times.
I can't keep doing this. He is constantly watching me and questioning my whereabouts. It is making my work so hard! I am actually feeling sick in the stomach about it all. If I don't contact him, he says that it is rude and becomes agitated. He constantly says he is confused about us even when I have clearly told him many times that I only want to be friends, nothing more. He doesn't try to touch me or assault me, and he isn't rude to me to my face and he isn't derogatory. He is actually polite, well-mannered, and very friendly in person - besides the times mentioned.
I am afraid that I will lose my job if I do anything he doesn't like or if I tell him to leave me alone. I cannot lose my job. I have so many necessary expenses and it is hard enough to find work as it is.
Am I being harassed or am I being paranoid? I almost called a lawyer for help but had to hang up. Please send me any advice you have.
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