Hi,
My ex-husband hasn't seen his 12-year-old daughter or 8-year-old son for 14 months. Then out of the blue, he texts saying 'I want to speak with 'D' - the daughter - and then I'll speak with you' . Lots of emotions arose and he didin't call that day or reply to texts.
Two days later, SMS begin, then I call and he wants to speak with her.
He hasn't been consistent in the past with visiting. Once every month, then every two months, then every week for four weeks, then absent two months, which has been very frustrating and unsettling for the kids.
They have finally received counselling to digest the absent father and sort through emotions, etc.
My daughter has had severe fear and anxiety and borderline OCD behaviour, which she has been medicated for. Now it's fear and anxiety and anger. My son has been heartbroken by his absent father, has gone through the emotions and now is now disappointed, which were his words.
Once more, their father hasn't been well mentally. I think bi-polar, depression, mood disorders?
Going back to the phone call request, I don't want my children to be hurt and I want them to have a relationship with their father, but what do you do? I'm a single mum and it's been hard to pick up the pieces.
The ex hasn't changed much from the conversation. Very stone-walled and hard-heartened. My daughter and son didn't wish to speak with their father when he rang. I had it on speaker quietly so he could hear their response, so he didn't think I had any influence on it.
He is very untrustworthy and negative. I later encouraged the ex to not give up on pursuing having a relationship with his children because of the rejection he may have felt. That they need time. But I'm talking to a very wounded man who is extremely childlike. The conclusion was he would call back tomorrow and times were set by the children and I SMS this.
Now the evening has set in and my 8-year-old son cried and didn't want to talk to his father, stating his father isn't the dad he wants and that he doesn't feel safe and that he broke his heart. What do you do as a mother who hears this?
There are no family court orders in place. We have been to mediation in the past and interim visitation schedules were made up but he didn't follow them and he felt like he was doing me a favour, so would let me know the day of pick up if he didn't feel like it. It was more an ego thing than anything to hurt me and my plans.
I'm so confused and am hurting for my son. I don't know what to do.
Thank you. I hope I didn't dribble on too much.
My ex-husband hasn't seen his 12-year-old daughter or 8-year-old son for 14 months. Then out of the blue, he texts saying 'I want to speak with 'D' - the daughter - and then I'll speak with you' . Lots of emotions arose and he didin't call that day or reply to texts.
Two days later, SMS begin, then I call and he wants to speak with her.
He hasn't been consistent in the past with visiting. Once every month, then every two months, then every week for four weeks, then absent two months, which has been very frustrating and unsettling for the kids.
They have finally received counselling to digest the absent father and sort through emotions, etc.
My daughter has had severe fear and anxiety and borderline OCD behaviour, which she has been medicated for. Now it's fear and anxiety and anger. My son has been heartbroken by his absent father, has gone through the emotions and now is now disappointed, which were his words.
Once more, their father hasn't been well mentally. I think bi-polar, depression, mood disorders?
Going back to the phone call request, I don't want my children to be hurt and I want them to have a relationship with their father, but what do you do? I'm a single mum and it's been hard to pick up the pieces.
The ex hasn't changed much from the conversation. Very stone-walled and hard-heartened. My daughter and son didn't wish to speak with their father when he rang. I had it on speaker quietly so he could hear their response, so he didn't think I had any influence on it.
He is very untrustworthy and negative. I later encouraged the ex to not give up on pursuing having a relationship with his children because of the rejection he may have felt. That they need time. But I'm talking to a very wounded man who is extremely childlike. The conclusion was he would call back tomorrow and times were set by the children and I SMS this.
Now the evening has set in and my 8-year-old son cried and didn't want to talk to his father, stating his father isn't the dad he wants and that he doesn't feel safe and that he broke his heart. What do you do as a mother who hears this?
There are no family court orders in place. We have been to mediation in the past and interim visitation schedules were made up but he didn't follow them and he felt like he was doing me a favour, so would let me know the day of pick up if he didn't feel like it. It was more an ego thing than anything to hurt me and my plans.
I'm so confused and am hurting for my son. I don't know what to do.
Thank you. I hope I didn't dribble on too much.
