QLD 50-50 Custody of Children - Where Do I Stand?

[BlackJack]

So I've been reading and reading and I hoping I already know the answer to this.

For the last three years I've been working interstate away from my at the time wife (hi if you're reading) and we have recently decided to separate. I am going back to the hometown and want to get 50-50 custody of children. We're both excellent parents, should be able to co-parent easily and I'm on a good wage with stable employment.

Are they likely to find that me being absent, earning to support the family, is reason enough for them to continue with the status quo of the mother having full custody of the children?

I understand how hard it will be on the ex, but I've been away for long enough and want to be there for the kids more. What sort of position am I in?

 

[Rod]

This very much depends firstly on the attitude of your ex, then secondly, the attitude of the Judge.

If the ex agrees to the change you just set-up in a new house and don't go anywhere near a court. You can even consider birdnesting.

Be all sweetness and nice with the ex and see how you go.

 

[BlackJack]

This very much depends firstly on the attitude of your ex

Unfortunately she's not interested on negotiateing custody, we tried. She will allow full access to the children, which I would provide her if they were in mine. We're very civil and just don't agree on this. I think we would be very good at co-parenting which would benefit the children and we would support each other.

I would like to think as with a stay at home person their contribution is considered for division of assets, that my contribution working away would be considered when determining custody arrangements.

 

[Rod]

I would like to think as with a stay at home person their contribution is considered for division of assets, that my contribution working away would be considered when determining custody arrangements.

We all like to dream ...

Looks like you are off to mediation, then court.

 

[sammy01]

Being away from home while married / together? Nope no worries (Not much anyways).

Being able to establish that you've got new employment that doesn't require interstate? Sorted.

What sort of access is she offering? How old are the kids?

50/50 or close to 50/50 is gonna depend on more than where you were working last year.

If she agrees to 5 a fortnight I'd grab it. Sure not 50/50 but not a bad result. Mate I had 5 a fortnight and half holidays for a while. I wanted 50/50 but 5 a fortnight is pretty sweet.

The kids saw my house as a break, I was always excited to see them and spent the down time when I didn't have them preparing for the next visit. Also kids are smart, they quickly worked out it was not equal. Kids see equal as fair. It wasn't fair on poor old dad.... And they knew who was to blame...

 

[BlackJack]

Being away from home while married / together? nope no worries. (not much anyways)
Being able to establish that you've got new employment that doesn't require interstate? sorted.
what sort of access is she offering? How old are the kids?

Thanks for your insights.

Aged 6 months which I'm not seeking custody of but I know I'll be provided good fair access, and a 9 year old.

Money isn't an issue I will pay CS as required and if it was 50-50 I'd pay for more stuff above that but at 25-75 she knows I will pay for less.

We've negotiated one weekend a fortnight and half holidays (25-75). I figure it's a foot in the door and better than having nothing until mediation/court is settled. I did indicate I would be looking to increase that after a trial and she sees it's not detrimental. I'll still see her when taking her to after school activities and stuff and when I see the baby, so I think from what I've been reading I'm in a reasonable set of circumstances even if I don't have exactly what I want.

Is that logic sound?

 

[sammy01]

Mate a 6 month old? You're gonna want the ex's agreement. Generally courts don't like splitting sibblings, but given the age gap... That might not be such a big concern.

 

[BlackJack]

You're gonna want the ex's agreement. Generally courts don't like splitting sibblings,

Good advice, thanks. I can look after both when the young one is older. 25-75 is workable as a starting point, the elder stays at her grandparents regularly so fortnightly with me won't be too much separation.